Dont know what to do.

Old 12-05-2010, 10:50 AM
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Dont know what to do.

I know many of you will think the worst of me . I've been ignoring my exab for a while now,he stopped calling finally until today he called and said he would meet me near where i live because he needed his college books and that he had exams.i thought he finally got over it and accepted that there's no going back or deep inside i wanted to see him one last time.we set up a meeting and as soon as i've seen him he started the sweet charming talk ,i felt i really missed him and missed our days,while we talked my cellphone rang,it was one of my new friends,a guy. He grabbed the phone and answered,talked horribly to the guy and started slapping me on the face,really hard that my mouth was bleeding .he kept hitting me and saying the most awful things to me and the guy on the phone who totally freaked out and wanted to know my exact location which turned my ex even more angry and more violent,causing him to hit me harder.i got off from the car started running in the street he ran after me and grabbed me,told me to get in the car and promised not to hit me.he held me hard i couldnt go anywhere,one of his friends was standing nearby,he freaked out and asked him to stop but he yelled at him ,told him to mind his own business.i couldnt get away from him.he said the most horrible things to me ,that i was a bitch and that i'm cheating on him and that the minute we stopped talking i ran to some other guy and that he wanted me back but now he doesnt because i'm a ***** ,finally he calmed down but took my fone and stuff ,refused to give them back and told me to send the guy over to take them.i ran away when he finally let me go. no words can describe how i feel,i'm so scared and torn apart. i feel so much hate too,ashamed of myself. i told no one about it because i'm afraid of what he might do.he turned into this crazy person ,if i did anything he would hurt me even more. i told my parents i fell off the street because of the bruises in my face but they dont believe it.i dont know what to do.
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Old 12-05-2010, 10:52 AM
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Tell your parents the truth, then go press charges on the *******. You have witnesses on the phone and in person, use them.
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Old 12-05-2010, 11:40 AM
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oh honey, I am sorry. I am glad you got away and are safe now. He has your phone..what else does he have?
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Old 12-05-2010, 11:41 AM
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He got my bag with a small amount of money and cards in it.nothing important.
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Old 12-05-2010, 11:47 AM
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So sorry you had to go through this.

That being said, that's assault and robbery. There are witnesses.

I realize you are probably terrified in the situation, but at the same time if you do not press charges he wins as he can keep up this type of behavior without consequences.
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Old 12-05-2010, 11:47 AM
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No one thinks badly of you here. This behavior is on him...he did and said horribly wrong things. Please do not turn it on yourself. He is blaming you...please don't do that to yourself too!
He is a liar, a coward and a bully. He is an abuser. oh, and a thief.

Your culture is different than here...what do you think you should do about your phone?
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Old 12-05-2010, 11:52 AM
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Can you simply report the phone as stolen to the phone company and have it turned off?
Most of the time the problem with phones is that we don't have our phone numbers for others available to us again from other places.

You did nothing wrong in having a guy friend. You can have as many guy friends as you want.
Realize that your friend was scared for you and knew that this was a horrid situation that was in no way your fault.
Realize that the xbf's friend even tried to stop him as being over the top and abusive.
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Old 12-05-2010, 11:55 AM
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He didnt take the phone to steal it,he wants me to send someone to pick it up so he could beat them,he knows i will never be around him again ,he told me send the other guy to take it.i dont know what to do about it,the only thing i can do is ask someone to get it but if that someone is a guy he will beat, insult him and talk badly about me,and if it's a girl i dont now how he would treat her. i thought about pressing charges because as sebby said i cant believe he is a winner in such sitiuation,he had done it before and he is doing it again knowing i will not harm him or cause him any physical hurt but at the same time i dont have the guts to do such thing,i dont want anymore trouble,if i went to the police i'de have to tell my parents,they dont live with me so they would totally freak out and insist i travel away .i dont want to move away or cause them all those worries.
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Old 12-05-2010, 11:57 AM
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PS to the folks here....Lunaaa does not live in the USA, she is in a different culture.
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Old 12-05-2010, 11:57 AM
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Cynical one,things are different around here. he will never get 25 years,i think all he might get is a couple of months if i'm lucky and i could prove it. the people on the fone are not strong proof i guess ,eye whitnesses were his friends and noway they would tesstify aganst him. things are so different around here,i'm not sure going to the police would be of any use except the shock of having a policemen at his parents house.
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Old 12-05-2010, 12:00 PM
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Lunaaa,

Slow down, I know what he said about his intentions with the phone but that doesn't mean to believe it.
He may have thrown it out or smashed it to pieces by now.
Or he may be trying to monitor you.
Please do phone the phone service and have them de-activate it.
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Old 12-05-2010, 12:04 PM
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Could you simply send the police to go get the phone?
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Old 12-05-2010, 12:15 PM
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I just do not trust him with your phone in service for one second....he could be doing anything crazy with it.
I really strongly advise getting it turned off as quickly as possible.
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Old 12-05-2010, 12:33 PM
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I had one of my girl friends call him awhile ago to get the phone back,he told her where and when to meet him,showed up with the fone,but talked to me friend awful things about me,how i cheated on him,how he doesnt want me back and that i'm a *****.
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Old 12-05-2010, 12:40 PM
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Oh, Lunaa,
I am sorry you and your friend had to deal with this fool.
I do know how scary it is to deal with someone who is bigger than you and also furious over something you know nothing about.
If you cannot get help from law enforcement, can you talk to someone, a therapist who specializes in trauma. And, maybe learn how to protect yourself.

Beth
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Old 12-05-2010, 12:41 PM
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I am glad you got your phone.
This did scare me.
I was afraid he would call your parents and all sorts of things to mess up your life.
I am suprised that your girlfriend would not be afraid to meet up with him.
I care about you but I would not have done that..I would be afraid of putting myself in a harmful and dangerous situation.

I hope you can get some rest.
Treat yourself extra nice, okay?
You deserve it.
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Old 12-05-2010, 12:43 PM
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Cynical one, It is my country,it's where i've been born,raised up all of my life,my parents live elsewhere due to their work conditions.
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Old 12-05-2010, 12:46 PM
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Live, he did call my mom but said nothing to her,just that i forgot my fone with him.and if i i'm home yet. i dont understand him,i dont get what he does!! i dont know what he expected by doing that. I didnt want my friend to meet him but she insisted and went with her boyfriend and asked him to stay a few blocks away,she was so brave and awesome,she stayed with me the whole day because i couldnt get home right after the incident.
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Old 12-05-2010, 12:51 PM
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I am glad to know your friend had her boyfriend looking out and that this can now be over.
I am also glad that your friend stayed with you to comfort and support you.
Very glad.

I would still be uneasy that he might have copied your phone numbers. But I worry. My XAABF was a really sneaky guy.
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Old 12-05-2010, 12:53 PM
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Cynical one,i'm 21,i'm graduated from college .i'm thinking about leaving the country anyway.
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