tandem545

Such ********. And they didn't even call me to tell me to come over earlier so we could all eat together. My mom called me right after they finished eating asking me when I was coming over. I was 20 minutes away and then she casually threw in, "Oh, we already ate. I'm not feeling well and your dad is sleepy from work." Like, thanks. My dad works overnights so I'm sure that was the case with him, but my mom I think was just trying to separate my sister and I (which means me from the rest of my family) since my sister doesn't want to see me. So I got home, had a teeny bit of turkey and potatoes and booked it in about 15 minutes. I was so pissed. And my mom wanted me to just hang out with her and watch tv like nothing was wrong at all. I don't think so. Whenever my sister decides to come home or asks for help my mom completely drops everything and caters to her. I only get calls to come over when my sister isn't there. It goes from my mom calling me 2-3 times a week to come over versus once every 2-3 weeks when my sister is there sucking up the attention. I'm just so sick of it.

Ann

That's rude. Plain and simple.

So, take your lesson and grow. My thoughts are in the future to visit your mom or dad someplace neutral, like for lunch maybe, when you can arrive and leave at a planned time.

I feel bad for your mom, putting up with the stress of your sister, but you don't have to own the bad behaviour of anyone.

Hugs

CatsPajamas

Are there some friends that you can get together with? Maybe start a new tradition and get together to share leftovers. I found I had to make some new plans so that I didn't have to be a part of some toxic extended family gatherings. It's sad that your mom chooses to participate in your sisters drama, but good that you don't play as well.

Hugs to you

Nikki2003

Hugs from me too. Good for you in not playing into it. You might want to consider sitting down with your family and setting up some healthy boundaries and expectations. So that they know where you are coming from, how you feel and what you will do and not do. Hopefully the rest of your day gets better.

marteen

I am so sorry that they did that! It just proves that there is so much denial there and just like you can't control the behavior of an addict, you also cannot control the behavior of an enabler. If someone is in denial, it is only through their own eyes that they will be able to see the harmful behavior, if ever.

You, however, are NOT in denial so recognize that and keep yourself sane by not allowing any of their behavior to control or manipulate you. I know it hurts but as I've discovered in the past, if a person does not want to see and they allow the addict to control them, they become as sick as the addict. I feel bad for your mom but you cannot change it.

Hugs for you,
Marteen

Kindeyes

tandem
I'm so sorry. That must have hurt very deeply. Family members seem to have an uncanny ability to cut so very deep and be so oblivious. I wish I could give you a gentle hug in person. I think you need one today.

gentle hugs

dollydo

I get so tired of favoritism, it just grinds on me. Yet, it is a reality of life.

If you ask any mother or father "Do you have a favorite child?" 99% of them will say "No", however, if you look at their actions, it will be obvious, there is always a favorite, and, most of the time, it is the first born, most likely a boy or the weak one, the one they consider to be the underdog. If as an adult, you are sucessful and well balanced they interpet it as " You don't need my help, my support." So, you are left in the dust.

To me, that is sad, strong or weak, boy or girl, first or last born, we all need to be counted, to be considered.

I am so very sorry about what happened to you...there is no excuse for this bad behavior.

Hugs to you,