My Sons
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Rose, live meetings of Al-anon, CoDA and Nar-anon have helped many of us find our balance and learn to live healthier lives.
Meetings literally saved my life and my sanity.
If you PM me where you live, I can send you a list of meetings in your area.
Give them a try Rose, I promise you will be glad you did.
Hugs from my heart to yours.
Meetings literally saved my life and my sanity.
If you PM me where you live, I can send you a list of meetings in your area.
Give them a try Rose, I promise you will be glad you did.
Hugs from my heart to yours.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Rose
I remember a very long time ago that I use to describe myself like a dog who is beaten by it's owner but keeps coming back, head down, tail wagging.......hoping not to get kicked again. But WHAM.....here comes the foot.....I go to my corner for a while.....then, head down.....tail wagging.....I come back looking for love from my abuser again only to get kicked......again.
How crazy does that sound? I did that for a long time.
This is the cycle of abuse.....the dog doesn't realize that the abuser isn't going to change their behavior. It thinks if it approaches with a submissive posture and wagging tail, that the abuser will give it the affection it craves. And unfortunately, the dog doesn't realize that they can run away. So it goes.....day after day.
No one deserves to be treated this way. Ultimately though.......it is up to us stop exposing ourselves to the abuse.
gentle hugs
I remember a very long time ago that I use to describe myself like a dog who is beaten by it's owner but keeps coming back, head down, tail wagging.......hoping not to get kicked again. But WHAM.....here comes the foot.....I go to my corner for a while.....then, head down.....tail wagging.....I come back looking for love from my abuser again only to get kicked......again.
How crazy does that sound? I did that for a long time.
This is the cycle of abuse.....the dog doesn't realize that the abuser isn't going to change their behavior. It thinks if it approaches with a submissive posture and wagging tail, that the abuser will give it the affection it craves. And unfortunately, the dog doesn't realize that they can run away. So it goes.....day after day.
No one deserves to be treated this way. Ultimately though.......it is up to us stop exposing ourselves to the abuse.
gentle hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Thank you all so much for the support!
Cynical, I went to the sight you gave me, just briefly though but I am going to sit tonight and read through. It looks to be just what I am looking for, thank you so much for searching this out for me!
Whereabouts, I did alot of what you did for my sons. Really over and beyond, they would have my car at times while I would catch the bus, the same anything I could do to make them happy. I more so got worse with it when their dad left. I know now that I sure wasn't doing anyone any favours, the boys or myself.
Rose
Cynical, I went to the sight you gave me, just briefly though but I am going to sit tonight and read through. It looks to be just what I am looking for, thank you so much for searching this out for me!
Whereabouts, I did alot of what you did for my sons. Really over and beyond, they would have my car at times while I would catch the bus, the same anything I could do to make them happy. I more so got worse with it when their dad left. I know now that I sure wasn't doing anyone any favours, the boys or myself.
Rose
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