I am new and FRUSTRATED
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ambridge Pa
Posts: 1
I am new and FRUSTRATED
Hi,
I am new to the forum. I have a friend who up until 3 or 4 weeks ago lived with me until her significant other gets out of and/or permanently stationed in the army. I have known her since she was 14 and she's more of a daughter than a friend.
She has struggled with substance for some time. Recently she has been smoking crack and is now clean a few days and wants help. She has been staying with her mother who committed horrible acts of abuse on her as a child. She wants to come back to my place desparately! I don't know if I can do it again, th lyining, manipulating and emotional outbursts. I do not trust her. The thing is she has 3 beautiful little girls I adore and have helped parent, I am the only one besides her who wants them! I am the only constant , stable person in their lives and I want them to come back where they are stable and happy, but like I said I don't know about her. She is also I believe a person with borderline personality disorder.
She promises to follow rules and boundaries this time, but how do I trust that or furthermore trust myself to kick her out if she doesn't to save my sanity. I would like her to go to inpatient but i do not have money for daycare for the kids and don't know if I can obtain it without an order of temporary custody. It a complicated situation to say the least! I love her and the kids but do not want to loose my sanity over it or enable her! Please advise
Lat- "Lost and Tired"
I am new to the forum. I have a friend who up until 3 or 4 weeks ago lived with me until her significant other gets out of and/or permanently stationed in the army. I have known her since she was 14 and she's more of a daughter than a friend.
She has struggled with substance for some time. Recently she has been smoking crack and is now clean a few days and wants help. She has been staying with her mother who committed horrible acts of abuse on her as a child. She wants to come back to my place desparately! I don't know if I can do it again, th lyining, manipulating and emotional outbursts. I do not trust her. The thing is she has 3 beautiful little girls I adore and have helped parent, I am the only one besides her who wants them! I am the only constant , stable person in their lives and I want them to come back where they are stable and happy, but like I said I don't know about her. She is also I believe a person with borderline personality disorder.
She promises to follow rules and boundaries this time, but how do I trust that or furthermore trust myself to kick her out if she doesn't to save my sanity. I would like her to go to inpatient but i do not have money for daycare for the kids and don't know if I can obtain it without an order of temporary custody. It a complicated situation to say the least! I love her and the kids but do not want to loose my sanity over it or enable her! Please advise
Lat- "Lost and Tired"
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
she's an addict...
...that's all you need to know. If you want to live with a crack addict and help her continue to be a crack addict by taking care of her children for her by all means let her come back.
Or, seek help: Al-Anon / Alateen Family Groups, Pennsylvania Area | pa-al-anon.org
Take care,
Cyranoak
Or, seek help: Al-Anon / Alateen Family Groups, Pennsylvania Area | pa-al-anon.org
Take care,
Cyranoak
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Lat, if she's only clean a few days, I think I would shy away from this. If she was planning to go to rehab (the Salvation Army Rehabs are free), I might take care of her children while she was there. But if she isn't doing any "do" things to take care of herself, I'm afraid your place is just a soft place to fall.
It's up to you in the end, but don't feel guilty if you answer is no. WE are not the solution to their problems.
Welcome to SR, I'm glad you joined us.
Hugs
It's up to you in the end, but don't feel guilty if you answer is no. WE are not the solution to their problems.
Welcome to SR, I'm glad you joined us.
Hugs
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