I lost it today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
I lost it today.
I went and bought a Sunday newspaper and once I saw the Christmas ads I started crying and could not stop I cried for over an hour.
I lost my grandfather on Christmas eve the same year I married in 84, then my FIL and uncle both died Christmas day different years. Now, I feel as AH is gone also.
I am hoping I can be strong enough to make it, through these holidays.
Thanksgiving- November
Christmas-December
New years- January
Febuary 14th Valentines day 27th anniersary.
Right when I thougt I was doing better POW, it took one little thing to trigger me.
Just needed to vent...
I decided it was ok for me to feel this way, was ok to cry and grieve. Now just pick myself back up continue working on me and know that this happens time to time.
I lost my grandfather on Christmas eve the same year I married in 84, then my FIL and uncle both died Christmas day different years. Now, I feel as AH is gone also.
I am hoping I can be strong enough to make it, through these holidays.
Thanksgiving- November
Christmas-December
New years- January
Febuary 14th Valentines day 27th anniersary.
Right when I thougt I was doing better POW, it took one little thing to trigger me.
Just needed to vent...
I decided it was ok for me to feel this way, was ok to cry and grieve. Now just pick myself back up continue working on me and know that this happens time to time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 139
I'm so sorry you're going through this. The holidays just suck don't they? And I think they suck for sooo many people for so many reasons. It's true that holidays are for little kids. I think most adults have lost someone to one disease or another around the holidays and the media is so bent on "holiday happiness" and getting us to spend more $. It really is sad, isn't it.
You're absolutely entitled to your feelings. I know I will have my crying days over the holidays too. Know you're not alone, there are a whole lot of us right there with you. Not sure if this quite sounded like I meant it to, but you probably get what I'm trying to say!! Hugs, FGB
You're absolutely entitled to your feelings. I know I will have my crying days over the holidays too. Know you're not alone, there are a whole lot of us right there with you. Not sure if this quite sounded like I meant it to, but you probably get what I'm trying to say!! Hugs, FGB
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 175
I will be thinking and praying for you at this time. When you have any loss it is hard but at holiday times you have a constant reminder. The holidays are a tough time and I have been looking at the ads the same way. I have been trying to find a private place to let it out and move on with my day. Hugs are going out to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
cb
I understand how you feel. I lost my father, whom I was so very close to, just a few days before my birthday. They (my Mom and Dad) had planned a big party (it was going to be my 50th birthday)........he crashed in the small plane he was piloting. He was my business partner and my father, my best friend, my confidante......he was a part of my daily life. And poof. In an instant, he was gone. I'll never forget that day as long as I live.
The holidays are tough.....we go on......we celebrate......we laugh.....even though there are people we love so very much missing on those days. I stopped living for over a year after he died (it's now been just a bit over two years). I finally had to realize that the last thing he would want me to do is to stop living because he was gone. He would want me to live and laugh and love.
He had a lifelong love affair with flight. I now like to imagine him with the wings of an angel and he gets to fly every single day.......and I know he's loving it. He watches over me and I know he has a good relationship with God.
Cherish and love those you have lost........but keep living and loving and laughing. It's what they would want you to do.
gentle hugs
I understand how you feel. I lost my father, whom I was so very close to, just a few days before my birthday. They (my Mom and Dad) had planned a big party (it was going to be my 50th birthday)........he crashed in the small plane he was piloting. He was my business partner and my father, my best friend, my confidante......he was a part of my daily life. And poof. In an instant, he was gone. I'll never forget that day as long as I live.
The holidays are tough.....we go on......we celebrate......we laugh.....even though there are people we love so very much missing on those days. I stopped living for over a year after he died (it's now been just a bit over two years). I finally had to realize that the last thing he would want me to do is to stop living because he was gone. He would want me to live and laugh and love.
He had a lifelong love affair with flight. I now like to imagine him with the wings of an angel and he gets to fly every single day.......and I know he's loving it. He watches over me and I know he has a good relationship with God.
Cherish and love those you have lost........but keep living and loving and laughing. It's what they would want you to do.
gentle hugs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: WA
Posts: 25
I'm sorry you can't enjoy the holidays right now. I had never been effected this way until I found out about my daughters' drug use just before the holiday season last year. That was the first year I didn't have the desire to put up a tree and decorations. I hope to be healthier this year. As Scarlett would say, I'll think about that tomorrow. One day at a time.
Hugs!
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
The holidays are very difficult and I allow myself my cries but I don't dwell on them. When those "triggers" hit, I don't deny them but I also don't live in that place anymore. I find with the necessary tools, time and experience, I can find the good things about that which I find so sad. I also find that I feel so very sorry for my AD for choosing to not have those things in her life.
Sadly, I cannot change her choices, I can only control my choices and what I do with them.
Hugs,
Marteen
Sadly, I cannot change her choices, I can only control my choices and what I do with them.
Hugs,
Marteen
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