The difference between God's will and mine is that my will hurts.

I understand what you are saying. :hug:

I do believe God hears our prayers. I know in my own experience that I have wished or willed a situation to become reality. I worked hard to make the reality come true but sometimes God's will is not for us to be the person that actually delivers the reality. I played a great part in things that were on the stove in heaven so to speak but I wasn't meant to be the actual cook. I was the person that gathered up the groceries, fixed the menu, invited the guests but the cook was another person that had a destiny to fulfill in the dinner. And it's all okay that I wasn't the cook. It actually freed me up to be something else and do something else. And I had to surrender as you did to the big plan and sometimes it is extremely frustrating to not be in on the final act. I have to constantly stay open minded and try to be flexible cause I probably have missed things that were meant to be and blessings that I missed because I stayed close minded and willful. It's hard to let go.

I can learn much here in this forum despite being a RA. I can learn from codependents as much as I can learn from addicts in recovery. I hear a great deal of close minded talk in meetings where cliches are thrown around that only an addict can help an addict and that maybe true as I did respect counselors that had recovered over ones that had never fought the battle. But I can learn other things wonderful things from people here that are helping me deal with codependency issues. It's all good.