Nerdgirl

My FIL came to our place last week. His goal was to talk DH into bringing our family together with his for Thanksgiving dinner. I was present but not active in this discussion.

FIL told us how great his AD is doing! Then he mentioned that she is still unemployed and she ate bag after bag of Halloween candy within a week. I immediately thought that an adult eating big piles of candy was a red flag, but hey, I could be wrong. When FIL was leaving DH said he would think about thanksgiving (DH later told me that he just said that to get his dad off his case). FIL went off and running, apparently he's told people that we're coming to thanksgiving dinner. FIL is creating his own reality as usual. This is sad...

While im here i'd like to mention that I'm having some medical issues and I'm unsettled. Oddly enough I'm really not scared (yet?). Whatever it is, it is. Time, and extensive testing, will tell and I know that it's all in God's hands anyway. Thanks for letting me share. I am forever grateful to my SR friends.

wicked

Hello Nerdgirl,

Sorry FIL is still in fairy cloud land where ever one is happy and has dinner together.
Sigh......
No need to buy into it, and I am glad DH is being non-committal.

I hope your medical issues are solved as soon as possible.
I am glad you come here to talk.
I love your avatar.

Beth

keepinon

Hope your medical issues turn out ok.You are dealing with sick people.do not expect them to understand your position.

Kindeyes

nerdgirl
First things first.....I hope that whatever medical issues you may be dealing with turn out to be not serious in nature. I'll keep you in my prayers.

The holidays always present an interesting set of circumstances in families who have addicted members. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and Mr. Nerdgirl.

gentle hugs

tam

Nerdgirl..remember you told me health first?? take care of you, dont worry about your fil..
glad to see your DH is there for you, this is a time that you both need to just worry about yourselves and your children..
sending you a hug!!

Nerdgirl

Thanks everybody. I just realized this week that I've lost a lot of weight without trying so I went to see my internist right away and the ball is rolling now. The doctors are trying to exclude some of the more sinister causes, doctors have to do what they have to do and i have to be patient while they work it out. Thanks to one and all for the kind wishes.

We're probably just going to be spending thanksgiving here by ourselves. It sounds drama free and relaxing to me! I love cooking, especially comfort food, so I am looking forward to forging our own traditions. FIL just texted my DH to pressure him about thanksgiving, ugh.

tam

aww nerdgirl..Im hoping and praying your okay with your health. think spending quiet time with your family on thanksgiving is a great idea and is the best way to spend the day for you and your family.
hugs!!

dollydo

I am sending you positive vibes....everything will be A-ok....

As for FIL, let him think and do whatever he wants to...enjoy your quite Thanksgiving...no drama, just good comfort food and peace.

Nerdgirl

My FIL has recruited his 90 something father for leverage against my DH. Grandpa came to the house for no real reason today, other than to talk about the holiday. Grandpa says that he doesn't have many more thanksgivings left in him, can't this be set aside for one day? Ouch.

DH is feeling conflicted, naturally. I am against having dinner at my FIL's house, my kids get into everything and that is just too dangerous for my peace of mind since I'm pretty certain that my SIL is still active and she lives there. I would consider breaking bread with them in a restaurant. Even that makes me uneasy though.

I just don't know what to do..... Which means that I should probably do nothing. Anybody have experience with this kind of thing? I'm just at a loss.

dollydo

I don't deal with emotional blackmail, I ignore it.

As for the granfather, why not invite him over for dinner on the Sat or Sun after Thanksgiving. Shows him that this is not about him.

If you do not stick to your guns, this whole deal will fall like a house of cards and you and your family will pay a dear price.

Freedom1990

No is a complete sentence, and I agree with the emotional blackmail.

Spending Thanksgiving by yourselves sounds like a lovely idea.

The rest of the family can get glad in the same pants they got mad in.

Nerdgirl

Thanks Freedom & Dolly, I appreciate your insight. We're definitely not going anywhere for the holiday. In anticipation i baked up a pumpkin this weekend and made my own purée for baked goodies - I can't wait!

The other bit of news is that CT scans were normal, so once I follow up on 2 more things the doctors will feel better about labeling this as "stress". What stress do I have? I'm on easy street!