iWeebleWobble

Understand your wounded, it may hurt like hell to get up with a bad bullet wound, but you must walk /run out of the war zone. You Must take care of yourself. You are way too beautiful too deal with this. I've made a bad bad mistake, that i dont wish on my worst enemies. Im married w/4 beautiful children to an addict. It is HELL, I dont wish it on my worst enemies...I dont know you, but I plead that you NOT make the same mistake as I. Your future children don't deserve it.

It will pass. You will live stronger and be an inspiration to others because of your decision.

johndelko408

My wife left me but it wasn't all to do with my drinking but things correlated to my drinking. We we're having troubles in our marriage and I got scared and moved out for what was supposed to be a week or two (you know the whole maybe we need some space for a while, not time apart, just some space) we we're still romanticaly involved. We decided to get divorced because things from my past were threatening to effect us financially and I didn't want that to effect her or my kids. The alcoholic mind tends to play tricks on us and I was convinced that she didn't want to be with me anymore. Like I said we were still involved but in my head I was thinking she was stringing me along until the divorce was finalized. Being that I wasn't living with her and my kids anymore I started drinking again and it was worse than ever before, at least 18 beers and a pint of vodka every night. I became a regular blackout drinker and was getting bored of drinking at home alone. To make a long story short I started going out to the bars and flirting with other women because I no longer felt desirable, f'd up alkie mind I had kept telling me my wife didn't love me anymore. I eventually got caught and she ended it between us. My drinking became even worse, I was smoking pot and started occasionally doing coke too. Then it happened, I hit my bottom. Beat up from booting and using, about to get evicted from my apartment and no job I finally had enough. I got my a$$ in AA like they were giving away money or something. I hated where my life was going and I missed my wife and kids. To sum up your questions. Yes, her leaving me made me recede to the point where I hit my bottom (remember everyone has a different bottom). And no I don't blame her, it was my fault that she left me, what woman in her right mind would stick around with the F up that I was. Had she stuck around after learning of my infidelity I probably would have actually slept with another women. The reason I say this is because when I was out flirting I had desire to have an affair or one night stand. I just wanted to feel desirable and if some woman I just met was showing interest in me, that did it. Take it from this alkie/addict, if you stick around he's going to have the mentality that he can do all the drugs he wants and that you won't care. you already gave him your ultimatum and he made his choice, so stick to your guns. He has to be WILLING to stop in order to stop. All the live in the world can't make him stop, you have to remember you CAN'T CONTROL his disease. I know this sounds mean, but you have to let him hit his bottom. Addiction completely takes us over, the drugs/drink is the thing that we love, the thing that makes us feel good. I hope this helps.

johndelko408

My wife left me but it wasn't all to do with my drinking but things correlated to my drinking. We we're having troubles in our marriage and I got scared and moved out for what was supposed to be a week or two (you know the whole maybe we need some space for a while, not time apart, just some space) we we're still romanticaly involved. We decided to get divorced because things from my past were threatening to effect us financially and I didn't want that to effect her or my kids. The alcoholic mind tends to play tricks on us and I was convinced that she didn't want to be with me anymore. Like I said we were still involved but in my head I was thinking she was stringing me along until the divorce was finalized. Being that I wasn't living with her and my kids anymore I started drinking again and it was worse than ever before, at least 18 beers and a pint of vodka every night. I became a regular blackout drinker and was getting bored of drinking at home alone. I started going out to the bars and flirting with other women because I no longer felt desirable, f'd up alkie mind I had kept telling me my wife didn't love me anymore. I eventually got caught and she ended it between us. My drinking became even worse, I was smoking pot and started occasionally doing coke too. Then it happened, I hit my bottom. Beat up from booting and using, about to get evicted from my apartment and no job I finally had enough. I got my a$$ in AA like they were giving away money or something. I hated where my life was going and I missed my wife and kids. To sum up your questions. Yes, her leaving me made me recede to the point where I hit my bottom (remember everyone has a different bottom). And no I don't blame her, it was my fault that she left me, what woman in her right mind would stick around with the F up that I was. Had she stuck around after learning of my infidelity I probably would have actually slept with another women. The reason I say this is because when I was out flirting I had desire to have an affair or one night stand. I just wanted to feel desirable and if some woman I just met was showing interest in me, that did it. Take it from this alkie/addict, if you stick around he's going to have the mentality that he can do all the drugs he wants and that you won't care. you already gave him your ultimatum and he made his choice, so stick to your guns. He has to be WILLING to stop in order to stop. All the live in the world can't make him stop, you have to remember you CAN'T CONTROL his disease. I know this sounds mean, but you have to let him hit his bottom. Addiction completely takes us over, the drugs/drink is the thing that we love, the thing that makes us feel good. I hope this helps.

johndelko408

My wife left me but it wasn't all to do with my drinking but things correlated to my drinking. We we're having troubles in our marriage and I got scared and moved out for what was supposed to be a week or two (you know the whole maybe we need some space for a while, not time apart, just some space) we we're still romanticaly involved. We decided to get divorced because things from my past were threatening to effect us financially and I didn't want that to effect her or my kids. The alcoholic mind tends to play tricks on us and I was convinced that she didn't want to be with me anymore. Like I said we were still involved but in my head I was thinking she was stringing me along until the divorce was finalized. Being that I wasn't living with her and my kids anymore I started drinking again and it was worse than ever before, at least 18 beers and a pint of vodka every night. I became a regular blackout drinker and was getting bored of drinking at home alone. I started going out to the bars and flirting with other women because I no longer felt desirable, f'd up alkie mind I had kept telling me my wife didn't love me anymore. I eventually got caught and she ended it between us. My drinking became even worse, I was smoking pot and started occasionally doing coke too. Then it happened, I hit my bottom. Beat up from booting and using, about to get evicted from my apartment and no job I finally had enough. I got my a$$ in AA like they were giving away money or something. I hated where my life was going and I missed my wife and kids. To sum up your questions. Yes, her leaving me made me recede to the point where I hit my bottom (remember everyone has a different bottom). And no I don't blame her, it was my fault that she left me, what woman in her right mind would stick around with the F up that I was. Had she stuck around after learning of my infidelity I probably would have actually slept with another women. The reason I say this is because when I was out flirting I had no desire to have an affair or one night stand. I just wanted to feel desirable and if some woman I just met was showing interest in me, that did it. Take it from this alkie/addict, if you stick around he's going to have the mentality that he can do all the drugs he wants and that you won't care. you already gave him your ultimatum and he made his choice, so stick to your guns. He has to be WILLING to stop in order to stop. All the live in the world can't make him stop, you have to remember you CAN'T CONTROL his disease. I know this sounds mean, but you have to let him hit his bottom. Addiction completely takes us over, the drugs/drink is the thing that we love, the thing that makes us feel good. I hope this helps.

johndelko408

My wife left me but it wasn't all to do with my drinking but things correlated to my drinking. We we're having troubles in our marriage and I got scared and moved out for what was supposed to be a week or two (you know the whole maybe we need some space for a while, not time apart, just some space) we we're still romanticaly involved. We decided to get divorced because things from my past were threatening to effect us financially and I didn't want that to effect her or my kids. The alcoholic mind tends to play tricks on us and I was convinced that she didn't want to be with me anymore. Like I said we were still involved but in my head I was thinking she was stringing me along until the divorce was finalized. Being that I wasn't living with her and my kids anymore I started drinking again and it was worse than ever before, at least 18 beers and a pint of vodka every night. I became a regular blackout drinker and was getting bored of drinking at home alone. I started going out to the bars and flirting with other women because I no longer felt desirable, f'd up alkie mind I had kept telling me my wife didn't love me anymore. I eventually got caught and she ended it between us. My drinking became even worse, I was smoking pot and started occasionally doing coke too. Then it happened, I hit my bottom. Beat up from booting and using, about to get evicted from my apartment and no job I finally had enough. I got my a$$ in AA like they were giving away money or something. I hated where my life was going and I missed my wife and kids. To sum up your questions. Yes, her leaving me made me recede to the point where I hit my bottom (remember everyone has a different bottom). And no I don't blame her, it was my fault that she left me, what woman in her right mind would stick around with the F up that I was. Had she stuck around after learning of my infidelity I probably would have actually slept with another women. The reason I say this is because when I was out flirting I had no desire to have an affair or one night stand. I just wanted to feel desirable and if some woman I just met was showing interest in me, that did it. Take it from this alkie/addict, if you stick around he's going to have the mentality that he can do all the drugs he wants and that you won't care. You already gave him your ultimatum and he made his choice, so stick to your guns. He has to be WILLING to stop in order to stop. All the love in the world can't make him stop, you have to remember you CAN'T CONTROL his disease. I know this sounds mean, but you have to let him hit his bottom. Addiction completely takes us over, the drugs/drink is the thing that we love, the thing that makes us feel good. When were in the thick of our disease we only care about our fix. The things that normal people love (family, wife, kids) don't matter to addicts/alkies, they don't make us feel good (this is while in addiction). I have a lot of pain inside now because I've got 10 months of sobriety and now I'm able to think clearly and feel emotions, and I miss my family. I hope this helps.

johndelko408

Sorry didn't mean to post so many times, computer has a mind of its own.

exhausted369

Hey
Im in the same boat

Wtf is wrong w us ??
Seriously ... my story is NOT for the faint of heart .. it is 100% true and now i have to put MY life back together after 18 months of doing my best to save my (what i believe to be my real twin flame )
from certain death from heroin(fentanyl
Crisis!)😳👀😈
My "soulmate addict " when we met was half dead .. yellow skinny .. and sad .. i got sober from a cocaine addiction that cost me 3 yrs away from my son...
i have been sober 9 years my son has been back for 8 yrs...
Ive helped a few friends get their lives together since my own recovery
But never heroin
Ive never seen anything this horrible
My (as of TODAY -again)
X fiancee soulmate bf addict
Has finally hit the straw that broke the camels back..
How i lasted this long? U will surely ask...
Ive been to 6 countries.. moved towns .. have a broken and rebroken hand .. im emotionally a wreck
Ive been lied
To more times than is even human ..
Im an unfortunate empath whos been snarled in this tangled web of addiction
Pathological bold faced Lies manipulation deceit denial
Defiance ...
The dance of death lets call it ...
Because he told
Me his story and i fell for it i guess

But he "LOVES
Me and were soulmates"

Another SCAM ive had to learn the hard way !
Im
Pretty upset right now and found this site searching "sociopath addict"
Sadly thats not a joke😳⏳
But clearly i was to him
I bent iver Backwards to get him iff drugs
.. in the beginning he made it sound easy .. hed take methadone fir a coulle weeks and on we woukd go with life ...and everything wud he great
.....Right..
I wanted to believe in him.. afterall i figured love could save anyone as my love for my son drove me into my own truth and sobriety ...
With my addict the DRUGs arent the Problem- they are his solutioh to all his real dysfunctions and skewed perspectives excuses rationalization justifications and plain and simole his BAD SELfISH decisions
As far as i know hes actually been opiate free two ir three times now

And weve done everyrhing frim inoatient rehab- he got kicked out for smoking weed apparently 2weeks in...$18,000
Tried ******** therapy for $4000
Coleman institute doing naltrexone implants- made it to day 3 only
Had a blow out due to his withdrawl and he assaulted me un san fran ( second time- first time was in a hotel - he was using drugs in the bathroom in the morning - and when i tried reoeatedly to ooen the door
He suprised me - opened it and grabbed me in a choke hold and cut iff my windpipe then threw me into a table...i took the blame eventually and had the charges dropped ...
Before that intook him to the aeedy ort of town to show him what he wud end up like ... and he statted a fight and got us attacked ... in the real ghetto
I have ptsd and all he has done is GASLIGht the **** out if me ...
W fake arrival times .. locked bathrom doors

Telling me his beeath doesnt REEK of the stench if death(heroin in tin foil is very distinct)
Have caught him 20x and takrn away his drugs and ir told
Him to leave .. because he is a scathing liar even if uts right in front of him
He just finished a $12,000 vitamin IV theraoy yesterday

And i caught him this morning reeking if DOPE on our way to go whale wayching fir our anniversary

I made a scene
Ive had ENOUGH
So what does he do?
Tells me in the boat hes going to burn down my house if i dont shut the f up
Then later says hes going to break my neck when we get back to the car

...also in ping ponging back and forth between me and his Nasty x
... she wrote my son.. and said things onky HE could know to even twist as it was
Like i LIeD about my MOM dying of cancer!
Ok so hes a seriously ****** up backstabbing traitor and rotten to the core liar if true
But between them bith .. i feel they are two faces if the same evil and sickness
And have decided they deserve each other

And every time hes caught im either WRONG or
Its OLD .. of course right?

We did ******** therapy in Nov 2016
And by xmas i caught him again using heroin the 27th
I bought him a really Really expensive engagement ring
After ***** be cause i believed he was clean and that was it
Ive been manipulated into believeing this 20x...
Somehow.. sorry this story is so disgusting.. im embarrased to even write it but im so oISSED and ive had ENOUGH!
.20x...That i can prove
And about 10 w the smell i know can identify ..

I dint know if he ever even stopped really
All one huge otheric smoke and mirros CONjOB and stageshow...
ALwYAYs exactly the same
Narrative , smirk, degredation, hissy fit.. justification for lying TILL days later

He ONLY feels BaD AFTER torturing me w LIeS and manipulation TILL i CAN PrOVe otherwise!! Sometimes days or weeks
He doesnt CARE

Hes 40!!!!!
And the smear campagining behind my back when things dont go HIS WAY ?? Abhorrant and disgraceful
Its so filthy and begins immediately afyer hes caught and "insulted"
How dare i catch HIM kinda deal

like clockwork!
Zero
Empathy
Zero accountibility
His alcoholic methadone swilling X
Has stalked harrassed threatned .. and made him relapse 15x
On purpose w fake suicide threats and closing the business threats
...us the entire time... attacked me last
June .. has destroyed his car 7x now keyed and all... punched him in the face multiple times in broad daylight !!! and was on camera last month
He has a restraining order but keeps
Violating it because his business involves her...

Its a sick sick SICK pattern
Both if them...
i know firmly believe he had no intention of truly ever stopping for good
Or he wud have by now
End of story
He USED me
For my
Love and sympathy and energy and time to get him better this far so he
Could continue his own AGENDA to make more money
Telling me whatever he wanted me to hear to do so

Im
Sure hes cheated on me
Many times also... when we met he admitted he slept w many prostitutes he was so unhappy in his life

When we met he said his x was watching shiws about 59
Ways to kill your hisband and trying tommake
Him sign a will

Now i dont know if anything is true oast what ive witnessed myself
The LIe if who they ARe is their TRUth

Sadly
Im finally
Letting go of this TOXIC person who told
Me he wanted out ... im exhaisted and broken and sad

But ill never ever return to drugs
So in the end .. they are playing a LOSINg and FatAL game with themselves...their EGO amd their increasingly degenerative behavior
im
Done w the constant mindfucking and soul numbing LIES about everything! Its SICK and CRUEL


Ive been so hard on him only because i was afraid of finding him dead in a bathroom or beside me in bed... but the bomd faced lies are so vile
I cant even look at him w any sort of resoect anymore at all


( my friend just died in bed a month ago-cardiac arrest - and a girl he from rehab jist OD in a bathroom afer being there 3 months.. and e got up
And i caight him using in my bathroom the very next morning afyer he found that out!



This **** isnt a joke!
Im
Done .. the pain and misery and frusteration and neverending mental anguish FAR outweighs any sort of professed "love "anymore

All these people know is ABUSE
And destruction and how to FAKE being normal
Very well

Screw everything sacred - NOThiNg matters to tjem
NOThiNG!

Its a PLOY and a LIE to keep u ENaBLiNg

STOP
For
Your own good
.....I am! I HAVE to !
Anyway thanks for listening
I need to heal... badly
What a sick sick situation ive been in for a year and a half as of two days ago



Truly ... ill likely never truly recover ..
i have ptsd from BEFORE all this never mind
Since... and thats just SOME of whats occured between us!

So i say run far and fast like he told me when we met

And i accepted his request for support and to help
Him out of his addiction- and bad 20 yr .."relationship "

All he has done is minimize deny disconnect relatalite ossice agressively
Everything from blockingmmenfrom calling .. to being 3-5 hrs PaST what he says and we agree is fair and safe
Daily for MONEy

He very very sick i had no idea levels of sickness to this degree existed in people

Ive had zero support also .. from anyone else
He has money and believes he superior to everyone and is entitled to treat me as he has ..

Its sad
Im
Glad he left today.. im not letting him come back

Come
Hell or high water.. im not getting
Hoovered again by this selfish sociopthic classless coward of a man CHILD
And neither should YOU!

I actually
Loved him alot
I cant beliebe he DUPED me this badly!

I truly thought he would wanted and would be saved ... the vitamin therapy.. well if that diesnt do it

Thats the end of the line

And my cue to exit the stage show
It doesnt matter whos right
It matters whos LEFT!!

Thanks and good luck to everyone LEAVING YOUR own horrid toxic un agreed to position if co dependant

To be quite honest - and i am dead honest( i cant believe i ended up w such amanipilatoge cile
Liar and the DEMON inside these lost souls is real
It will and DOES tear u Apart! Till
Someone stops
Gives
Up
Or
Dies i guess

Such a Destructive liar- cant stand them)
Anyway i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy ..
Its truly the WOrST experience
Of my
Life - yes as bad as my mom dying if cancer maybe worse .. this has gone on way longer for us both

Sick Demented Fools!
We actually LOVED YOU!!!