Forward or Backward???UGH
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 29
Forward or Backward???UGH
Hi all...First day at my new job...Well....orientation, but I think it will be just fine...I know a few people there...so that helps....
Now....I am frustrating myself so badly.....It seems in the evenings after the kids go to bed, I find myself getting very mad and sad...I've been sending my husband text messages and voicemails, and I always regret it..I don't threaten him or anything...I just feel the need to make sure he knows how I feel...What? do I think this is going to change anything? Turn him into someone different? He has tried to talk to me a couple of times...Says things like he wants things to get better...or that he's tired of living with himself...
I don't know why I'm doing this, but I then I get mad at myself for doing it...but then I just do it again....
Now....I am frustrating myself so badly.....It seems in the evenings after the kids go to bed, I find myself getting very mad and sad...I've been sending my husband text messages and voicemails, and I always regret it..I don't threaten him or anything...I just feel the need to make sure he knows how I feel...What? do I think this is going to change anything? Turn him into someone different? He has tried to talk to me a couple of times...Says things like he wants things to get better...or that he's tired of living with himself...
I don't know why I'm doing this, but I then I get mad at myself for doing it...but then I just do it again....
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
When I get obsessive, I find that burying myself in a good mystery novel helps take my mind to a better place.
Maybe try to think of something enjoyable that will distract you from texting.
Hugs
Maybe try to think of something enjoyable that will distract you from texting.
Hugs
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Obsessive behavior, one of many issues that we codies have to work on.
I was like a record, trying to convince my exabf what he needed to do to make me happy and get a handle on his addiction.
What did I accomplish? Zero, NaDa, Nothing except to make me a crazy woman.
Had to give that up, all I was doing is hurting myself, self inflicted pain, how dumb was that?
Don't be hard on yourself, maybe you need to change your routine, like stay off the puter, turn off your phone, read a book, do jumping jacks anything to avoid contacting him.
Sending hugs your way!
I was like a record, trying to convince my exabf what he needed to do to make me happy and get a handle on his addiction.
What did I accomplish? Zero, NaDa, Nothing except to make me a crazy woman.
Had to give that up, all I was doing is hurting myself, self inflicted pain, how dumb was that?
Don't be hard on yourself, maybe you need to change your routine, like stay off the puter, turn off your phone, read a book, do jumping jacks anything to avoid contacting him.
Sending hugs your way!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Oh.....obsessive thinking......I'm really good at that. My best tools to shut it down are: exercise, yoga, a game, a good book, shopping, a chat with my Mom. I just need diversion. Otherwise, my mind will go on and on and make me crazy. What do you like to do to divert your attention?
gentle hugs
gentle hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 29
Okay....I'm not alone.....good...And you guys have told me how to deal with it. Tonight I will take a hot bath with the new book that I bought tonight.
I will make a list of things to do when I start feeling crazy...I do, always feel better when I call my best friend.....I just didn't know to turn those feelings off....Thank you guys
I will make a list of things to do when I start feeling crazy...I do, always feel better when I call my best friend.....I just didn't know to turn those feelings off....Thank you guys
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
Sara,
I can be impulsive with calling and texting one thing that helps me is when I pick up my phone to call or text hubby I ask myself what do I hope to achieve by this call/text. I be honest with myself and 99 percent of the time I do not make that call/text.
That could possibly help along with keeping yourself occupied.
Hugs,
I can be impulsive with calling and texting one thing that helps me is when I pick up my phone to call or text hubby I ask myself what do I hope to achieve by this call/text. I be honest with myself and 99 percent of the time I do not make that call/text.
That could possibly help along with keeping yourself occupied.
Hugs,
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
sara,
first off, welcome to this forum. i haven't been on for a few days.
you are dealing with something incredibly stressful, and painful. you want things to go somewhere faster than they probably will. breathe as much as possible, and if you meditate, that can help you feel grounded for at least a little while.
and...forward AND backward are completely normal.
hugs...
first off, welcome to this forum. i haven't been on for a few days.
you are dealing with something incredibly stressful, and painful. you want things to go somewhere faster than they probably will. breathe as much as possible, and if you meditate, that can help you feel grounded for at least a little while.
and...forward AND backward are completely normal.
hugs...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 29
I don't know how to meditate, but I will sure try it if someone tells me how...
No texts or voicemails tonight....Progress? I did spend a long time in the tub....Aside from the Melodie Beattie series, I haven't read much in a while...I missed Dr Kay Scarpetta...So....it was a good night....I just hope it continues...My choice ...right....
No texts or voicemails tonight....Progress? I did spend a long time in the tub....Aside from the Melodie Beattie series, I haven't read much in a while...I missed Dr Kay Scarpetta...So....it was a good night....I just hope it continues...My choice ...right....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Sara
I can meditate in two positions that work well for me.
One is to lay on my back with my arms out by my sides, my legs slightly apart, eyes closed. Meditative music helps me--something relaxing and mellow. And breath deeply and slowly. Try to get in tune with each part of your body, one part at a time.....try to really feel them.....head, shoulders, arms, thighs, calves, feet, toes, arms, fingers. Keep breathing deeply and slowly.
The other position is a classic sitting position legs crossed, hands resting on legs, spine straight, chin slightly tucked. And do the same things with breathing deeply and slowly and getting tuned into each part of your body as stated above....concentrating on breathing.
That's what I do to meditate and it helps me clear my mind and find peace within myself for a bit.
Hope that helps. Sometimes just taking a nice hot bubble bath can do the same thing for me. I find that I crave that quiet, meditative, mellow, peaceful feeling.
gentle hugs
I can meditate in two positions that work well for me.
One is to lay on my back with my arms out by my sides, my legs slightly apart, eyes closed. Meditative music helps me--something relaxing and mellow. And breath deeply and slowly. Try to get in tune with each part of your body, one part at a time.....try to really feel them.....head, shoulders, arms, thighs, calves, feet, toes, arms, fingers. Keep breathing deeply and slowly.
The other position is a classic sitting position legs crossed, hands resting on legs, spine straight, chin slightly tucked. And do the same things with breathing deeply and slowly and getting tuned into each part of your body as stated above....concentrating on breathing.
That's what I do to meditate and it helps me clear my mind and find peace within myself for a bit.
Hope that helps. Sometimes just taking a nice hot bubble bath can do the same thing for me. I find that I crave that quiet, meditative, mellow, peaceful feeling.
gentle hugs
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