Help from someone who has been there
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3
Help from someone who has been there
I'm gonna apologize in advance if this gets a bit long.
I am suspicious that my husband may be snorting oxycodone/oxycotin. He has had a Rx for Oxycodone for nearly 2 years due to a shoulder injury and recently had surgery on that shoulder. I know he has abused his Rx by simply taking more than prescribed as his body has gained a tolerance to it. He has been seeing a pain management specialist who is supposedly monitoring his meds and trying to wean him off. However, I have found oxycotin in his oxycodone Rx bottle so I know he is buying them off the street when he runs out early and can't get a refill. I suspect snorting for a number of reasons....
1. constant nasal congestion for the last 6 months (he does have allergies but it is seasonal and usually gets better in a week or 2)
2. He has several friends that are doing the same. None of them hang out in the same group.
3. He has gotten very sneaky about things and acts paranoid
4. He displays most symptoms listed with snorting Oxycodone (however most symptoms can be blamed on something else)
5. I walked in on him one day with a space on his desk cleared and an expired gift card in hand. He jumped and shuffled papers over the cleared spot and got real nervous for the rest of the day.
6. my gut tells me I'm right & although plenty will argue that means nothing, I personally believe there is no such thing as a gut feeling, just God trying to tell you something.
I believe he is suspicious that I am on to him and he has tried to slow down or cut it out within the last 24 hours. He has been in bed since yesterday morning and blames it on having zero energy. From what I have read the recovery rate for this addiction is low and even in a live-in rehab center the success rate is only 60-85%.
We have a 3 yr old and a 3 month old and I have a responsibility to them to keep them in a thriving healthy household but I don't want to give up on my husband either. For better or worse and this happens to be the worse. We have communication problems and I don't know how to approach him with this without it turning negatively.
I don't blame the addiction on him entirely. The doctor who prescribed him the pills without monitoring him for a year and a half just refilling them as needed should lose her license. But he made the decision to snort them and he made the decision to buy them off the street so that falls on him. I just don't really know what I am facing or if I am up to the challenge. I know that is terrible to say but with 2 small children, and already responsible for 100% of the household & yard chores as well as keep up with the household finances, I just don't know if I have the time and patience to baby my 36 yr old husband. Please help with advice, knowledge, etc.
I am suspicious that my husband may be snorting oxycodone/oxycotin. He has had a Rx for Oxycodone for nearly 2 years due to a shoulder injury and recently had surgery on that shoulder. I know he has abused his Rx by simply taking more than prescribed as his body has gained a tolerance to it. He has been seeing a pain management specialist who is supposedly monitoring his meds and trying to wean him off. However, I have found oxycotin in his oxycodone Rx bottle so I know he is buying them off the street when he runs out early and can't get a refill. I suspect snorting for a number of reasons....
1. constant nasal congestion for the last 6 months (he does have allergies but it is seasonal and usually gets better in a week or 2)
2. He has several friends that are doing the same. None of them hang out in the same group.
3. He has gotten very sneaky about things and acts paranoid
4. He displays most symptoms listed with snorting Oxycodone (however most symptoms can be blamed on something else)
5. I walked in on him one day with a space on his desk cleared and an expired gift card in hand. He jumped and shuffled papers over the cleared spot and got real nervous for the rest of the day.
6. my gut tells me I'm right & although plenty will argue that means nothing, I personally believe there is no such thing as a gut feeling, just God trying to tell you something.
I believe he is suspicious that I am on to him and he has tried to slow down or cut it out within the last 24 hours. He has been in bed since yesterday morning and blames it on having zero energy. From what I have read the recovery rate for this addiction is low and even in a live-in rehab center the success rate is only 60-85%.
We have a 3 yr old and a 3 month old and I have a responsibility to them to keep them in a thriving healthy household but I don't want to give up on my husband either. For better or worse and this happens to be the worse. We have communication problems and I don't know how to approach him with this without it turning negatively.
I don't blame the addiction on him entirely. The doctor who prescribed him the pills without monitoring him for a year and a half just refilling them as needed should lose her license. But he made the decision to snort them and he made the decision to buy them off the street so that falls on him. I just don't really know what I am facing or if I am up to the challenge. I know that is terrible to say but with 2 small children, and already responsible for 100% of the household & yard chores as well as keep up with the household finances, I just don't know if I have the time and patience to baby my 36 yr old husband. Please help with advice, knowledge, etc.
Alone or together, your challenge is to protect you and your children, live your life, and not enable or control his.
Have you considered Alanon or Naranon meetings?
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
Welcome to SR confused hill, so sorry your going through this,but please know your not alone. there are others,like myself, who's significant other
is also abusing prescription pain meds. (or drugs as it doesnt matter)addiction is addiction.
I want you to know that this problem can and most likely get worse for you if he doesnt seek help. I too went through denial and thought my AH was fine
on these pills, afterall a dr.was prescribing them..well he wasnt, he got worse.
I too blamed the drs.for a long time, but it finally came to a head that my husband liked them ,was addicted and the bottom line was the dr.wasnt shoving them down his throat, he was abusing them and enjoyed them.
I can remember so many times when he ran out he would be bed ridden too,so exhausted. put a few pills in his mouth and he was on top of the world.
Please please prepare yourself now, protect yourself and your children. Seek out alanon or naranon meetings asap and keep posting and reading posts on here, both truly saved me. Your not alone, what your going through and what can continue to happen is very stressful, but its important to get knowledge and support on addiction.
again so sorry
is also abusing prescription pain meds. (or drugs as it doesnt matter)addiction is addiction.
I want you to know that this problem can and most likely get worse for you if he doesnt seek help. I too went through denial and thought my AH was fine
on these pills, afterall a dr.was prescribing them..well he wasnt, he got worse.
I too blamed the drs.for a long time, but it finally came to a head that my husband liked them ,was addicted and the bottom line was the dr.wasnt shoving them down his throat, he was abusing them and enjoyed them.
I can remember so many times when he ran out he would be bed ridden too,so exhausted. put a few pills in his mouth and he was on top of the world.
Please please prepare yourself now, protect yourself and your children. Seek out alanon or naranon meetings asap and keep posting and reading posts on here, both truly saved me. Your not alone, what your going through and what can continue to happen is very stressful, but its important to get knowledge and support on addiction.
again so sorry
I just wanted to chime in with big hugs. Dealing with this, on top of running the household AND raising your children must be so exhausting.
As a mother of a toddler, and the ex-spouse of an alcoholic and drug user, I have to ask....since you know that you cannot control your AH in any way, shape or form, what can you do to ensure that your children grow up in a healthy environment?
As a mother of a toddler, and the ex-spouse of an alcoholic and drug user, I have to ask....since you know that you cannot control your AH in any way, shape or form, what can you do to ensure that your children grow up in a healthy environment?
Even though my pill addiction started up legally and by a doctor I don't blame that doctor, after having multiple surgeries he was actually just doing his job. I had no history of addiction prior to being treated so had no idea this would even be an issue, I felt addicted only after about 2 months of taking them, at least was physically addicted and starting up a mental obsession. Addiction can be fast or slow, it depends on each person's genetic makeup, metabolism and brain chemistry. I don't think my doctor would consider drastic measures after 2 months and more and more blame placed on most now not all but most doctors would cause people to never be able to get any pain relief. I don't think that should have to happen to people genuinely in pain. I do however accept most of the responsibility for my addiction. I should have stopped when I realized I was getting hooked. And I did not tell my doctor I was having problems. So he can't be a surgeon, healer and a mindreader too.
There are however some bad apples out there that over prescribe. It is admirable you want to support your husband, he may need to talk with his doctor to help him beat this problem but he has to want to beat this, the consequences can spiral out quickly once the illusion that an addict can control usage is totally lost. Protect your income and your children as much as you can. There are many people here on SR that can help you, it's a very supportive site.
There are however some bad apples out there that over prescribe. It is admirable you want to support your husband, he may need to talk with his doctor to help him beat this problem but he has to want to beat this, the consequences can spiral out quickly once the illusion that an addict can control usage is totally lost. Protect your income and your children as much as you can. There are many people here on SR that can help you, it's a very supportive site.
<<Hugs>> I am sorry you are having to go through this. I know exactly how you feel...my exah has been an active addict the entire 11 years of our relationship. He had multiple relapses, and I stood by him the entire time...thinking I was doing the right thing...I too did not want the guilt of breaking up my family...and I didn't want the guilt of deserting him in his time of need. But most of all, I didn't want to let go of the crazy, addict/co-dependent relationship I had with him. While it was a crazy life, it was MY crazy life, and I wasn't ready to start over. But as my life began to spin completely out of control, I "knew" I needed help for me, and I needed it NOW! So I searched the internet and landed here at SR...and I am sooooo glad I did. I read the sticky at the top of the forum 'What Addicts Do', and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Nothing between me and my exah could ever be the same because I could no longer deny who I was living with and what I needed to do for me and for my 4 1/2 year old twin daughters.
I am not trying to say my life is your life, but rather, whether or not you stay with your husband, I would highly recommend getting emotional support for yourself...I believe you will need it!!! Have an awareness about addiction...get as much information as you can about the disease. That way you know what your options are...you will have an idea of what to expect in the coming days, weeks, months. Definitely check out Al-Anon or other groups that can give you support and advice. SR is also an awesome website with tons of wonderful, caring people! Read the stickys at the top of the forum...read past threads...and of course, ask any & all questions you have! All of these resources will help you (I think) be able to make the kind of decisions you may be confronted with. Knowledge is power!
I wish you the very best...if you need anything, you can email me at any time!!!
I am not trying to say my life is your life, but rather, whether or not you stay with your husband, I would highly recommend getting emotional support for yourself...I believe you will need it!!! Have an awareness about addiction...get as much information as you can about the disease. That way you know what your options are...you will have an idea of what to expect in the coming days, weeks, months. Definitely check out Al-Anon or other groups that can give you support and advice. SR is also an awesome website with tons of wonderful, caring people! Read the stickys at the top of the forum...read past threads...and of course, ask any & all questions you have! All of these resources will help you (I think) be able to make the kind of decisions you may be confronted with. Knowledge is power!
I wish you the very best...if you need anything, you can email me at any time!!!
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: slc,utah
Posts: 1
It's so similar to my situation... only my kids are older, and my husband is not snorting... just abusing. He adds alcohol when he needs a little more buzz.
So... here we are running our households on our own. Did you receive any helpful advice from anyone?
So... here we are running our households on our own. Did you receive any helpful advice from anyone?
I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds like he is addicted and its a tough go. Snorting gets a faster high or low in this case. You seem aware of the signs and you are on the right track. Sniffing, sinus stuffed up, falling asleep at odd times you got it. You need to make some serious decisions as it most likely will get worse. I hope for you and your children it wont but most of us here know better. Good luck and as someone already said read the stickys they made me so much stronger.
Take care
Take care
Welcome to SR......but I'm so sorry that you are dealing with the issues that bring you here.
There are so many people who have experienced what you are dealing with here on SR. And as different as each of those stories are, they are very much the same.
I hope you'll stick around and learn about yourself. This is a journey of self exploration as much as it is about learning about addiction.
I hope that you find the support that I have here on SR. I don't know where I'd be without the collective wisdom of all of these wonderful people.
gentle hugs
There are so many people who have experienced what you are dealing with here on SR. And as different as each of those stories are, they are very much the same.
I hope you'll stick around and learn about yourself. This is a journey of self exploration as much as it is about learning about addiction.
I hope that you find the support that I have here on SR. I don't know where I'd be without the collective wisdom of all of these wonderful people.
gentle hugs
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