jacksdaughter

My DAS moved out in July but I strongly suspect he is using again. Same symptoms etc... Do I come right out and ask him??? I hate this .. I feel I never know what the right thing to do is?

Thanks for all your help as always... I love this place.

sojourner

Hi Jacksdaughter: Is DAS for "drug addicted son?"

Well, since addiction is at the root of so much lying, i would guess that asking your DAS would not really answer your question for sure. You do not say what kind or how much interaction you have with this person, but i would say to be cautious. I would say that your sixth sense about this person using again is probably right, especially if they are not in recovery but doing it "on their own."

I would also suggest that you double up on Alanon or Naranon meetings right now.

Hope that helps, even a little bit. Otherwise, someone else will come along with some better insight for you.

jacksdaughter

Thank you and yes drug addict son. He moved out in July and has been living on his own. Seems to me to be exhibiting the same symptons again as when he was using. I do speak with him often but he never wants to talk about anything I would call important just kinda blows me off. I just feel so helpless like I should be doing something to help him at least want to be clean. He does not go to meetings told us they were boring.

Freedom1990

There wasn't anything anyone could say to me, including my mother, that would make me want to stay clean.

I had to want it, want it more than anything else in life, and had to work for it.

I have a 32 year old AD, and we have minimal contact. I'd have no contact with her if it weren't for my 15 year old granddaughter now living with her.

The best help I can be to anyone, including my AD, is to work my own recovery and be an example of what recovery looks like.

Are you attending Alanon or Naranon for support for yourself?

jacksdaughter

I have gone to Narnon and Alanon but the meetings are not really convenient for my schedule. One of the reasons I come here a lot, I find it very helpful. I have stopped rescuing him which I think has made an improvement.

Kindeyes

hey there jacksdaughter
I also have a son who is addicted. Personally, I can say that if my gut said he was using, he was using. But that knowledge brings us nothing but heartache as there is nothing we can do about it. We can love them. We can feel compassion for them. We can step out of the way when they get smacked by the consequences of their drug use.
And we can read, educate ourselves and be fully prepared with knowledge when they finally decide they want to change their own lives. We can model recovery.....change our own behaviors so that we are not inadvertently enabling their continued use.

gentle hugs from one mother to another

BBD

The #1 BEST thing I did for myself was to meet with an addiction counselor. She helped me so much to step aside and let him take his own path...2 years later I have a son that has been drug free for over a year. My fear of him overdosing was terrific.....and my quilt that this was somehow a problem I had overlooked in the early stages. I was so wrong...can happen to anyone...as we all know. I asked my son alot of times if he was involved with drugs...the answer was always NO! and he was~~~so until he hits his bottom he will lie to you. Its sad but so true. Hang in there and step aside....smiles, Bonnie

keepinon

If you have to ask you already know. Alanon is a really good place and worth a little inconvience to me. I love this site, but face to face is very helpful.Maybe give it another shot.A sponsor and working the steps can help you detach in a loving way while still maintaing a positive relationship with your son.