Such a great way to say it!

she is someone who is as beautiful as she is loving. she had a hard life growing up, but somehow believes in love. she is one of the few people i have met who, like me, is a little bit of everything and is driven by music from folk to punk. she has a style all her own. she is a talented chef who had aspirations to make somethnig of herself in the culinary world. and she is someone always willing to talk to, compliment, or help out a stranger. she is a movie encyclopedia. she loves hiking and camping. she likes to learn. her favorite shows are dexter and true blood. she is someone who i have seen learn much about herself over the past couple years, but struggles with living and love. she has her unique imperfections, but i love her for them as well. she is energetic and fun to be around.

What Perfect Timing to see the Good
 

Just yesterday I realized I've been sad, distraught and ruminating over the tragedy of my son's short 26 yr. life. I decided for the next few days I would focus on all the wonderful qualities he possessed and the many things he accomplished in his time here.

TRAVIS:
My son easily made friends, had a keen intellect, was witty, intuitive and loving. He taught himself to be a fabulous vegetarian chef.
Travis was unique in dress, personality and ideas.
He was a self-taught musician who managed to get into a band and cut a CD.
He was fun to be with and adventuresome. He was a daring. He never complained and was outwardly positive.

He maintained sobriety for two yrs., started a meditation group and
worked as a drug counselor to support others in sobriety.
He willingly talked to me in lengthy phone conversations ea. week.
He learned how to paint and enjoyed riding and caring for horses.
He was grateful that I was his mother and continually told me so.
He made amends to me and others for the mistakes he made as an addict.
We had a great love and appreciated one another.

He worked the program of AA faithfully during his sobriety until his fatal relapse.
He came to believe in a power greater than himself.
He went to great lengths to come home from another statefor visits,
in the few opportunities of free time that he had.
I am proud to say he was my son !!!!! :ghug3

This thread has made me realise the progress I have made. Whenever I used to think of my AS good points, I would soften so much towards him that I would start enabling him again big time. The only way I could stop it, was to be angry and to harden my heart against him.

I realised today that I don't need any of the anger anymore. I can think of all his wonderful qualities and still know that he needs to walk the path he is walking now, without my "help".

Apologies for the hijack of the thread.

Kindeyes, We really needed this thread. Alot of people think that because a person is a drug addict, that they are bad people. Or weak, and not trustworty. The truth is that very good, intelligent and beautiful people suffer with addiction. Addiction does not define who we are as people. As bad as my son ever was on drugs, he never stole a thing from me or anyone. He never violently hurt or mugged anyone for drug money. The only pain he caused was to himself, and unintentionally to his family. Reading all of these posts helped me to see how many other moms like me, have beautiful loving children, who are suffering with addiction. Yesterday was election day, and not one candidate said a thing about the drug epidemic that is hurting so many families, and killing and destroying our children. What is it going to take to put a stop to the drugs coming in from other countries? Instead of doing nothing, our politicians should protect our borders, and do what they can to stop the heroin from coming in. They need to take a look at all of the young people on pain pills, and do something about that too. Thanks for this thread Kindeyes. I loved reading about all of the good qualities that all of these people have. I cried through this thread. Especially for Spiritual Seeker. I'm glad you opened her eyes to all of the beautiful things about her son, that she loves so much.

Thank you for this thread.

I am the addict, and always wondered if anyone ever saw the good in me. Maybe somebody did?

My daughter is a wonderful friend. To me and to anyone else she meets.
She is the light of my life, my second born, but my first girl. I used to watch her as a baby and couldn't believe God gave me this pretty little bug.
She has a killer sense of humor and can also laugh at herself.
She is gorgeous with that peaches and cream skin that I've envied and have no idea where she got it.
She has a beautiful voice and listening to her and her sister sing makes me cry...every time.
She loves God. She feels He's far, far away at this point in her life, but deep down I know she knows the way back.
She's worth this heartache and pain...she really is. I would go through this and stick it out for only 2 other people in this whole world.
She knows I love her. (Hence my screen name...YouWillBe loved forever, my dear child, no matter what.)

My son is a foster son and even though he came from a birth family where abuse and addiction were daily events, he was kind, well mannered, funny and very loving. He was the kind of young man that people noticed and admired. He was a handsome young man who could melt your heart with his smile.

He was "our" son, in our hearts and very very special.

I use the word "was" because we haven't heard from him in over 6 years as he is lost in the world of addiction somewhere. He knew the odds were not in his favour if he messed with drugs and alcohol, but he dared the devil and lost.

He knows he is loved, even on his worst day, and today I trust God to watch over him and pray one day he will lead him back to sobriety.

Thank you for this thread, it took me a while before I could put into words the good person my son is underneath the addiction.

Hugs

I found my sister at home nearly one year go. I can still see her so clearly, that day, gone, destroyed by the addiction, not the person I knew.

I remember her as a small, beautiful, fair haired woman. She had the most contageous eyes, massive big brown eyes that glowed when she smiled. Oh, yes, her smile with her naughty sense of humor.
How we laughed together at silly little jokes we had. We were so close bringing our kids up together, comparing things and working out what we would do next week.
She had to be the most caring, dedicated mother I knew. Her kids were her top priority, forever running around making sure they were looked after.
Nights talking on the phone for hours, really about nothing, giggling until we hung up.
She was a quiet, caring person who wouldnt have hurt anyone, always looking up to me, her big sister. I will remember all the good times until we meet again to have one more joke together.
Love U Bye

beautiful.

joyous.

heartwrenching.

true.



thanks, kindeyes, and all contributors

I see the good in you SlvrMag. Your a great person, and a loving beautiful mother. Oh, and you make pretty babies too. How is that precious boy?

Sorry to Hijack Kindeyes, I know you forgive me.

You're gonna make me cry! Thank You so much Angelic!

My boy is sitting right by my side doing his homework :)
He is doing great!


Ok, I'm sorry for the hijack too...carry on!

SlvrMag
This comment broke my heart. I hope that every person struggling with addiction on SR reads this thread and begins to understand how very much they are loved and that they are not defined solely by the word "addiction" by the people who care so very much about them. When we feel unloveable, it's hard to believe that anyone loves us. But THEY DO!

Please.....have no doubt.......that even in your darkest moments......you were loved.

gentle hugs

What beautiful tributes to our loved ones. Thank you Kindeyes for this thread. I think that we all needed this.

My daughters name is Jessi. She is my only child. From the moment she was born, she was the light of my life. When I look back on all the pictures she ALWAYS had a smile on her face. She is funny, she is very smart, she writes beautiful poetry and short stories. She was a very good softball player and volleyball player growing up. She won many awards for sports and her writing abilities. She is a good artist. She takes up for the underdog. She hates unfairness. She has always been a rescuer. She would rescue animals and bring them home. We always had kids at our house. If she thought someone needed something from a meal to a coat, she would bring them home with her and give it too them. She loves music and loves to sing. She can't carry a tune in a bucket, but she sings...LOL. She is kind. She loves to cook, but doesn't like to clean up the mess. She is special. I wouldn't trade her for the world. And I love her very much.

She is 180 days clean today.

Gotahavfaith

Gottahavfaith, I'm so happy for Jessi. And I love this thread. I cry when I read it, and I keep coming back and reading it again and again. I'm so happy that Jessi has 180 days. That's so awesome. It's funny because Joseph is 9 days short of 180 days.

Kindeyes, Thank You again and again for this thread. I love it.

:ghug3

Great thread, great idea :)

--He could make me laugh in .02 seconds upon entering a room.
--He has the most amazing scruffy rock hair that suited him perfectly.
--He hated it long, I adored it.
--He is so intelligent and would be able to educate me on almost any subject I questioned, from music to the solar system - he astounded me.
--I love the fact that before our first kiss, he asked me if it would be alright if he kissed me, the perfect gentleman.
--I melted each time he would pick up his guitar and play a song and sing.
--It's almost a contradiction to say 'his honesty', but there was a time and still moments where he was the most genuine person I have ever met. When it came to our relationship I knew he meant what he said. He didn't try to pretend to be something he wasn't, he didn't promise me anything he knew he couldn't live up to, I respect that.

I love him for his intelligence, his sensitivity, his courage. I love him wholly and unconditionally without reservation. I love him enough to take risks. I love him enough to sacrifice a friendship. I love him enough to accept my own happiness and use it, in turn, to make him happy back. - Emily Giffin, Something Borrowed

Kindeyes, Thank for for this wonderful thread. My daughter Jillian is my only child, and I have loved her from the first bubble of movement I felt when carrying her. She is beautiful, intelligent, athletic (unlike me), she was a competitive gymnast, she loves music, and absolutely loves to dance..which brings up a funny story...in between meetings at the EastCoast NA convention there
was a band playing in the lobby of the hotel (I was there attending the Naranon convention)....so I look for my daughter and my first thought is I bet she is by the band...and sure enough there's my girl dancing. It was her very first convention, at the time she had approx 2 mos clean. She is very loyal to her friends. Her smile and laughter are intoxicating. She is my social butterfly. She loves God. She is in recovery (9+ mos) and I am so very proud of her.

As my daughter has said before, she is not a bad person, just a sick person trying to get well. I believe this speaks for all of our loved ones. Love & compassion is what I feel for them.

Thank You Kindeyes, that makes me feel good :)

Kindeyes, that is beautiful what you wrote to SlveMag. I would also like people to know, that no matter how upset any one on earth is with our behaviors, while we were using. That GOD loves us so much more than our earthly family ever could. Every person on this planet is loved by GOD. Even the filthiest drunk or addict laying in an alley. What ever is done in the past, is over. We all make mistakes. It's what we do today that counts.

ok - so I already posted one about my daughter but in light of what has been posted I would like to post another one
About my ex husband who is an alcoholic and an addict -

Those of you who know my story, know this is a little harder, because of some of the things that I went thru during our divorce but my program of recovery has helped me heal and look at all aspects of life, people and this disease . . .

He's a handsome dark haired man with beautiful eyes ~ eyes that when healthy glow with life, excitement & love. A talented softball coach with a strong competitve side and yet the patience to coach 14 yr old girls. He makes the best pot of spagetti I have ever eaten in my life. He loves to dance and is an excellent at it. He loves to watch kid movies like "All Dogs go to Heaven" & "The Littlest Mermaid" because it was his daughters favorites. and yes he cried with them when they watch it.

He was great at training Duck hunting dogs and loved to duck hunt ~ just to watch the sunrise and enjoy God's beautiful creation.

He does none of these things now - His life is controlled by his addictions.

His name is Brian, he's my ex husband, an ex father to our daughters and an ex grandfather to our grandchildren.

I still believe that man dwells somewhere deep within him ~ I just don't know if that man will ever see the light of recovery again.