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-   -   Surrender (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/212208-surrender.html)

Kindeyes 10-29-2010 02:39 PM

Surrender
 
My son will be checking into an inpatient treatment center tomorrow morning at 9:30am.

I want to thank all of you for your prayers and warm wishes that have brought us this far. As we all know, there is a very long road ahead for my son, but he made the phone call and made the arrangements which is a huge step in the right direction. I am so very thankful.

I could see that there was such relief for him. Surrender.

I love each and every one of you. Thank you for your guidance, your collective wisdom, your support, your love.

I want to give special thanks to my Higher Power......he did hear me.

gentle hugs

Chino 10-29-2010 02:49 PM

Prayers going up as he continues to surrender one day at a time :)

keepinon 10-29-2010 03:26 PM

Yea! Ahh sweet surrender......we fight so hard, but it feels so good when we finally give in.

Impurrfect 10-29-2010 03:38 PM

(((Kindeyes))) - I've been on vacation for a week, and this is good news to come back to!

Surrender...it is hard, but feels pretty darned good when we let go of the reins.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Kindeyes 10-29-2010 04:27 PM

The last few days have been a marathon of patience (the last few months have been he77). He was so wound up before he called the center and he was exhausted when he finally made the commitment. He's watching a movie now and he seems more relaxed than I have seen him in so very long. The tension has lifted for the time being and we are just all here being a family.

Tomorrow will be hard but I think he'll go without hesitation. I have faith in him......in his higher power.

gentle hugs (I think I'm going to gently hug myself too)

newnormal4me 10-29-2010 04:58 PM

****{HUGS}}}...will keep you both in my prayers. I hope he truly commits and does what he needs to, to get his life back. Take care of yourself.

Ann 10-29-2010 05:14 PM

Keeping him in my prayers, Kindeyes, and I really hope he makes it tomorrow. This just may be his turning point, we never quite know, but however it unfolds I am glad you have your recovery tools.

Hugs

Angelic17 10-29-2010 05:20 PM

Kindeyes, my church and I prayed for your son this morning. He will be prayed for every day from now on. I'm so happy that he has finally decided to end his own misery. Our prayers are working already. I can't wait to tell the group tomorrow morning. I know it's still very difficult on you knowing that your son is in a place for addiction. But, at least he's not still out there using. And he is willing to get help. I'm flooded with emotions of happiness for you and your family. Like I said before, he is going to be alright. I can feel it. Thank GOD for listening to our prayers. The other day when you prayed in the shower. GOD heard you and answered you.

Angelic17 10-29-2010 05:31 PM

:ghug3 Here's a hug from me Kindeyes. It's not a gentle hug, it's a tight affectionate hug of compassion for you. I hope you are strong tomorrow. I know for me when ever I left my son at a rehab, it hurt me deeply. Even though I knew he needed it desperately. No mother wants to see her child go through the detox and struggles of addiction. So be strong, and keep in mind that he is going to get well now. He will get the proper medical detox and care that he needs. Without being in danger. This is a blessing, and it's all uphill from here. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR SON at this very difficult time.

Spiritual Seeker 10-29-2010 05:34 PM

" The tension has lifted for the time being and we are just all here being a family."

Savor this day, soak in it like a sponge.
This is a wish come true !

Kindeyes 10-29-2010 05:56 PM

SS
I sent you an email.

Angelic17
I sent you a pm.

gentle hugs

litehorse 10-29-2010 06:27 PM

kindeyes - so thankful for your son's decision - prayers will be with all of you as his recovery begins to unfold - may it bring a peace into his life as well as yours - i know there will be ups and downs in the days, weeks, months and even years to come but may it always be an ever upward journey -

greeteachday 10-29-2010 06:37 PM

Wonderful post to read...Gentle hugs to you too, Kindeyes. Sleep well tonight....My prayers for your son and for you and Mr. KE continue :hug:

chicory 10-29-2010 07:43 PM

Kindeyes,

How wonderful when prayers are answered! I am so very happy for you and your precious son. I continue to pray for his healing, and for peace and comfort too.

how wonderful . Thank you Father.

sending you a gentle , happy hug Kindeyes,
chicory

Sunshine2 10-29-2010 09:29 PM

Kindeyes, what wonderful news. My prayers are with you all. It is so good to read this as it keeps my hope alive.

lostparent 10-29-2010 10:09 PM

What great news will keep him an you in my prayers..

cece1960 10-30-2010 04:56 AM

What great news Kindeyes. You son will now begin to collect the tools he needs to stay on the right path.

You rest well while he's safe and sound :)

SoTiredOfIt 10-30-2010 09:21 AM

Kindeyes - I am SSOOOOO elated for your son, you and your whole family!

That first step is always the hardest one to take! :c011:

Kindeyes 10-30-2010 12:10 PM

Whew boy.....this morning was a challenge. The addiction talk kicked into high gear. He didn't set his clock. I had to wake him up. He left no time to eat breakfast. And the chatter began.

"I don't know why I have to do this. I know what to do. This is a waste of time and money (of which he has lots of the first and none of the second)." quack quack quack

He asked if we could stop to get something for him to eat. I chose to do so......not for him as much as for the people at the treatment center. I thought it might calm him to have a full belly and thus make it easier for them to deal with him. It didn't help or stop the addiction chatter all the way there though.

I was driving him alone as my DH had to go to work this morning so AS was the navigator (God help me). He wanted to take me on "the back roads". I wouldn't do it. I told him that I wanted to go the way that I was comfortable and that the directions stated. He gave me guff but I just kept on driving. He tried to give crappy directions or tell me that I wasn't listening and do whatever he could to get me riled up.

He made the whole process as painful as he possibly could. He was negative and irritable. While we were getting him checked in, he was taken to the office and I could hear them speaking. He told her that he was irritable, and felt very emotional. She was great and said she understood.

When I paid, I asked what period of time I was paying for and she said 21 days but that he could request a 7 day extension if needed. She left the room to allow us time to say goodbye.....he said "What...21 days not long enough for you? This sucks. I hate this. I already know all of this."

Through all the quacking, negativity, irritability.....I didn't get upset nor did I engage with him. I just let him talk and get his feelings and emotions out of him without taking it personally or trying to reason with him. Anything I coulda-woulda said would only have caused his irritability to escalate and get me feeling all aggravated with him. I found great peace in silence......not the stewing angry kind of silence that we co-dependents are so good at but a serene silence. Knowing the whole time that this was not about me. It was about addiction. It was about fear. It was about withdrawal. It was about self change. It was about feeling emotional. It was about self loathing. It was about shame. It was about his anger (not mine). It was about him. It was about anything and everything else but it really didn't have anything to do with me.

When I left in my car, I broke down and cried. Tears of love. Tears of fear. Tears of relief. My tears were about me and the love I have for another human being.....my son. I prayed as I drove through the beautiful countryside and thanked God for getting us to this point and asked for his help in the days to come.

Just sharing my journey......thanks for letting me get this out onto virtual paper. SR has become my journal.....my diary.....and it is open for all of you to read.

gentle hugs

chicory 10-30-2010 01:17 PM

Kindeyes,

my heart swells with happiness for you today.

your son had a tough morning, but he is in good hands now.

what a good day. as Anne said, He is getting tools for his tool kit now.

bless your heart.

thankful prayers going up now:)


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