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Old 10-30-2010, 01:19 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I'm just sending you BIG HUGS Kindeyes.

I am so happy your son made it there.

Gotahavfaith
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Old 10-30-2010, 02:07 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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He is not practicing what he learned in the past treatments so he needs a reminder. He needs a really long treatment, I am thinking 6-9 months in a sober living environment after his 21 days. Nobody ever wants to do those things but we all get growth from doing things despite the pain.
I think you handled him quite well.
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Old 10-30-2010, 02:28 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Kindeyes,

I didn't sing inlast night so I just saw your post, I was so happy when I scrolled and saw he did go. Hugs and prayers for you and the Mr. and your son.
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Old 10-30-2010, 02:42 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by meditation View Post
He is not practicing what he learned in the past treatments so he needs a reminder. He needs a really long treatment, I am thinking 6-9 months in a sober living environment after his 21 days. Nobody ever wants to do those things but we all get growth from doing things despite the pain.
I think you handled him quite well.
Bingo. He's not practicing what he learned and he DOES need a reminder. We are hoping that they will suggest either long term outpatient or sober living. I think a good sle would be best for him if possible.

I would be very interested to hear about other's experiences with sober living environments.....both from the perspective of the recovering addict and from the families. If anyone has some input on sle's, I'm all ears and....of course......

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Old 10-30-2010, 02:44 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I am just seeing this....Kindeyes, what sweet blessed news!
Good for your son and good for you...
Time to exhale a little...and have some peaceful sleep...I will keep you, your son and Mr.K in my prayers
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Old 10-30-2010, 03:16 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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When we were looking for sle's MAN i heard some horror stories..the staff being arrested for drugs was a big one. Well so far and knock on wood my daughters sle has been a Godsend.They are tough, put her on restriction for something the 1st week she was there.That house mother tracks her like a bloodhound.the roomies call her out on her crap and hold her accountable and ther ain't NO WAY she be sleepin in till noon! She really wants to make it work or I imagine this woulda lasted about 5 hours (if that). She knows that she does not know how to live. THAT is what they are teaching her there, just how to LIVE like a responsible human being.That house mother is definately a saint in my book..I couldn't handle one little recovering addict..she's got 6 from 18-42yrs old..bless that woman's soul.
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Old 10-30-2010, 03:27 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Kindeyes, I wish I could have been there for you when you were on your way back home. You shouldn't have been alone. Thank GOD this kid is where he needs to be. Just for today your son is safe. Getting the help he needs. Today is the first day of his new found sobriety, and the beginning of his recovery. He is getting support and care. Now you need some support and care too. I knew this day would be hard for you. I remember how hard it was for me. Your son is being prayed for over and over again. We prayed for him again today, and I prayed for him and a few others on this site in my own personal rosary today. I know it's going to get better from here. When I told my prayer group that your son went for help today, they were all thrilled.
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Old 10-30-2010, 03:42 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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From my personal perspective, I believe that some sort of SLE - halfway house; Oxford House is pretty critical. There are many with fairly low fees that encourage the recovering folks there to get a job and pay the weekly fee themselves.

I believe it is important not just for the recovering addict to work this out on his or her own and to build up self confidence by seeing it can be done, but also so we as parents don't find ourselves sucked in to trying to control our kids' recovery. I found my codependency in many ways was worse during early recovery than it was when my kids used. So not being in that front row seat really helped us all.

I'm glad your son is safe and you will have time to continue to focus on your journey. Lots of hugs.
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Old 10-30-2010, 03:54 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by greeteachday View Post
From my personal perspective, I believe that some sort of SLE - halfway house; Oxford House is pretty critical. There are many with fairly low fees that encourage the recovering folks there to get a job and pay the weekly fee themselves.

I believe it is important not just for the recovering addict to work this out on his or her own and to build up self confidence by seeing it can be done, but also so we as parents don't find ourselves sucked in to trying to control our kids' recovery. I found my codependency in many ways was worse during early recovery than it was when my kids used. So not being in that front row seat really helped us all.

I'm glad your son is safe and you will have time to continue to focus on your journey. Lots of hugs.
Greet, you are so right about this. I was that mom trying to control my sons recovery. It didn't work. The hardest thing I ever had to do was to let go and let him find his way in the world. I told him he couldn't come back here, and my sister took him in. She is worse than me with him. Both my sister and I are very codependant. We are aware of it, because we both have alot of knowledge regarding addiction and recovery. My sister didn't want my son in a sober house because she wanted him with family. It might just be a mistake, but for the past 6 months he is with my sister, and sober, and working. It's a miracle in itself. I sure hope it lasts. I think it's easier for her, because she's not the mother. The front row seat almost put me in my grave.
Thanks for sharing this. It opened my eyes to a few things, and I continue to learn and grow. Everyday, I pick up something that opens my eyes on this site. Thank You
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Old 10-30-2010, 06:43 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Kindeyes, This is awesome news. I'm praying that this refresher course (as he puts it) will fill his tool box full of recovery tools. I'm praying for his recovery and your serenity.

Love & Hugs,
May God Bless you
Chris
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