thequest

Will cleaning up the mess an addict made be harder on the addict than sober and/or changed living. Is the mess they have to clean up which could include money problems, relationship problems and/or even physical problems and living conditions harder to deal with than the addiction?

Sometimes I think many an addict knows what they have before them and simply do the drugs/addiction as a form of procrastination -in their mind anyway.

meditation

Recovery is hard work, it is a decision to turn over a new leaf, it is actively seeking help. It's not easy to get humble, to publicly acknowledge one's sins. I don't regret finding recovery. I do know that when I was in active addiction I had no thoughts about consequences so in the beginning there was nothing to procrastinate over or fix. I was following my doctor's orders and bam addicted. I don't think addiction can be shoehorned into a certain category, not all generalizations work , each person comes to addiction differently and each person seeks recovery differently. There usually is hell to pay after the addiction has run it's course but as I said for me I wasn't running from or hiding from things, I grew up with low self esteem, tried to be perfect tried to control things and found out I was not in control and could not do anything perfectly. Many of the addicts I met in rehab had similar stories of damaged childhoods, low self esteem. Each person is unique.

litehorse

the messes made by addiction can be horrific and have long-lasting effects on the addict's life - i admit i have cleaned up some messes for my son for the sake of my family, not him. i couple of things i have cleaned up for his sake in the long term but he doesn't even know yet that i took care of it - i actually used "his" money to take care of the mess which will help the possibility of having car insurance when he is ready for that again. when clarity comes with sobriety it would seem that a light at the end of the tunnel would be helpful as it is for all of us in difficult situations - certainly not that we could or should clean up all messes and they have nothing to deal with -

tam

I think so

keepinon

I know my daughter is having to deal with stuff now thta she is in recovery..namely us not taking her sh&* anymore and having to deal with the damage that she has inflicted on her family.

lightseeker

my husband says that having to learn to live life on life's terms is a whole lot more difficult than getting sober from a 20 year crack/IV cocaine addiction.

tjp613

I think an addict might believe it's easier to stay addicted than getting sober and cleaning up the mess, but in the long run it's really not. If the addiction isn't arrested then poverty, homelessness, sickness and death are inevitable. To me, that sounds a lot harder than anything recovery requires.

bigchief

in a simple answer NO..........addiction/alcoholism will kill you very slowly/painfully/shamefully and disrespecfully!!!

I have never heard of a contented addict/alcoholic?

Recovery will bring freedom/recovery/love/self esteem/and a life beyond yr wildest dreams, all you have to do is be willing to go to any lengths, as it says in chapter 5 "rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path".

Recovering addicts/alcoholics will support and help out as much as possible providing you put the effort in and the rewards will be so worthwhile, NOT such a hard choice now eh?....Keith

hello-kitty

Cleaning up the mess is part of recovery from addiction. You can't really look at it as a separate issue. Getting clean is the easy part. Staying clean takes life long effort.

The thing that I keep in mind is that I didn't choose to use because cleaning up the mess I had created was going to be too difficult. I chose to use because I was addicted to crack. When I finally got serious about getting (and staying) clean, I was willing to do whatever it took to get my life back. I accepted that there was nothing so bad about being clean, that using drugs/alcohol won't make worse.

An addict in recovery knows this and it guides their thinking on a daily basis. It's about taking life one day at a time. If I make wise choices today, my life will improve tomorrow. If I make poor choices today, my life will get worse.

Being allowed to deal with the consequences of my addiction was a blessing to me. It makes me want to stay clean so I don't lose everything. Again.

outtolunch

The same can probably be said for we codependents, too. I never gave any thought to the consequences associated with trying to control my daughter and her addiction.