small victory
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 774
small victory
very small victory, but i'll take it. my phone rang around 6:30 this morning. i didn;t recognize the number and figured it was her, so i did not answer.
i thought- good for me, that's something to finally be proud of.
of course curiosity got the best of me so i checked my voicemail. there was indeed a message left at 6:30am, but from someone else i gave my number to a while back when i was looking for her who wanted a ride.
but, victory nonetheless. i thought it was her and didn't answer. that counts in my book.
i thought- good for me, that's something to finally be proud of.
of course curiosity got the best of me so i checked my voicemail. there was indeed a message left at 6:30am, but from someone else i gave my number to a while back when i was looking for her who wanted a ride.
but, victory nonetheless. i thought it was her and didn't answer. that counts in my book.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
That is a victory!! Bravo to you!!
No puzzle comes together without a bunch of little pieces, right? Well, no contact is about a bunch of little pieces coming together to form a whole.
You would think the act of just letting a call go to voicemail wouldn't be such a major thing, but it is. Over time with an addict you become conditioned to answer that call even though you know it can and will turn your life upside down. It's always something and its rarely good and yet the consequences for not answering are worse and longer lasting it seems.
For me, letting XABF leave a message, which I too listened to, was a big step for me and it spoke volumes to him. The messages he left when I took that step were outrageous and full of venom. Months later, when I suspected a phone number was him calling I still didn't answer and the power of that felt so good. I was doing something healthy for myself and I was worth it. When no message was left I figured he wasn't getting what he wanted and would go away, and he did.
Keep taking those little steps and fill in the puzzle for yourself. Your recovery will build each time you do.
Very proud of you!!
Alice
No puzzle comes together without a bunch of little pieces, right? Well, no contact is about a bunch of little pieces coming together to form a whole.
You would think the act of just letting a call go to voicemail wouldn't be such a major thing, but it is. Over time with an addict you become conditioned to answer that call even though you know it can and will turn your life upside down. It's always something and its rarely good and yet the consequences for not answering are worse and longer lasting it seems.
For me, letting XABF leave a message, which I too listened to, was a big step for me and it spoke volumes to him. The messages he left when I took that step were outrageous and full of venom. Months later, when I suspected a phone number was him calling I still didn't answer and the power of that felt so good. I was doing something healthy for myself and I was worth it. When no message was left I figured he wasn't getting what he wanted and would go away, and he did.
Keep taking those little steps and fill in the puzzle for yourself. Your recovery will build each time you do.
Very proud of you!!
Alice
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