crazybabie

I have always heard addicts have to hit rock bottom whatever their, rock bottom is. Now I find myself wondering do all addicts even have a rock bottom.

Any thoughts on this?

Thanks,
Angie

Live

unfortunely, many never recover and rock bottoms are:

jail
institutions
death

Kindeyes

Angie
I have wondered where the heck rock bottom is for my AS....and it scares me because so much has happened to him that you would have thought would have been rock bottom.....but he doesn't seem to be there yet.
gentle hugs

tam

I wonder that myself, my AH lost me (together 30 years), our family, our home, his car, his job..he doesnt have anything anymore..he just sits in an apt.all day popping pills and smoking cigarettes. his health has declined big time, sadly I think death will be his rock bottom.
he has acknowledged he needs help, he wants and talks about detox, but he just cant do it, he admits he is playing russian roulette, like most addicts do Im sure and he has told me what to do when he dies. I just keep praying and hoping that at least he survives and gets sober, but I also know there can be a sad ending as well. not an easy thing to go through for anyone of us on here.

ladyhawk69

I'm not sure if all addicts hit "rock bottom". I guess it depends on how much they are willing to lose before they decide to recover. I don't believe my exABF hit bottom. (my definition, maybe it was HIS bottom) His family helped him alot but it seems to be working this time. He's doing very well, looks good and he and I can have a civil conversation that he remembers. (lol) Everybody is different. I'm an optimist and think anybody can do anything that they REALLY set their mind to.
- Kim

steve1840

i also fear the possibility of my agf not having a bottom. she has thought about that herself and concluded that most likely death is her bottom.

my fear with bottoms is that if someone has a chemical inbalance or psych disorder, they may not find a bottom asthere are other factors at play.

my cousin did the same thing my gf is doing, but for 30 years! she is 49 and getting out of a 3 yr stint in max security. we have no idea what will happen then. i so hope it does not take my gf that long and i hope the same for your son.

tam

I also want to add, my AH still has an enabler, a young couple feed him, give him shelter, give him support , buy him cigarettes etc.. they dont see the addiction (yet) or the financial burden (yet). he is very depressed, he told me he hates living there, its like a morgue (they all stay home, hardly ever go out,very strange people) but the drug is just so powerful, he can stay numb and live there,he doesnt have to do a single thing, they worship him,so I guess he hasnt hit rock bottom.

thequest

I've been working on that myself. Most here seem to feel a bottom may never occur or could be years away even though behavior is dragging them down.

Everytime I think our problem one has hit a bottom something else seems to indicate other wise. Personally until I see an attitude and lifestyle change I won't consider a better day a bottom nor will I consider what should be a behavior changing catastrophic event a bottom because he still does not want to deal with consequences.

NoelleR

Speaking as a recovered alcohol/addict (but I believe this all can be attributed to alanoners, naranoners, ACOA's, CODA's, etc.).....

I have found that the terms 'rock bottom' or 'hitting their rock bottom' are like so many other terms in recovery (terms like sober; sobriety; clean; recovery), these are terms that I can define ONLY for myself, and NOT for anyone else.

Oh yes, we can say that 'rock bottom' is...: jails; institutions; or death...., but if a person comes into recovery and states that he/she has never been to jail, or in an institution, and if I'm speaking with him/her, he/she is obviously not dead, well, what should I do.....?....send them away until one, or all of these things occur....? Nah, I don't think so.

Or, say we define 'rock bottom' as losing everything (family, friends, home, children, work, etc.), what should we say to the person who comes into recovery who has not lost everything (perhaps he/she hasn't lost anything (yet), and yet they also, say they've hit their 'rock bottom?'

INHO, from my experience, I've found that each individual sets his/her own 'rock bottom.' This usually comes out in conversation, something like this (totally paraphrased here), "This is it!! I can't go on living like this!! Something has to change! .......... HELP!!!!"

Well, these are just my opinions, and my observations of others in recovery. Personally, for me, I wound up in jail a couple (sic...LOLOL) of times, but I had no problem with that. I just dusted myself off, and continued on my own boozy/druggy way. ....and did I lose everything....? Absolutely not! Well, I did lose a bunch o stuff (my home; my job; my transportation; I was living on the streets....oh wait a minute; all that happened AFTER I got into recovery, not before when I was using....lol

I guess what I mean by all this verbose jumble is that we're all slightly different; our recovery paths may be totally different; our 'rock bottoms' may also be totally/slightly different. All that truly matters is that we're all working on the solution now, and not stuck in the problem.....


(o:
NoelleR

litehorse

i've read and read through many posts about rock bottoms and enabling and detachment and i have tried to analyze just where my journey with my son fits into the "definitions" - i don't think i will ever know exactly what would fall into which category or if any of it really made any difference one way or another - i see snapshots of times throughout the journey that i say "if only..." about but whether the outcome would have been better or worse who is to know - i think we all have to arm ourselves with as much knowledge, strength, and wisdom from those who have traveled before us as we can and using all of that with our relationship with our loved one and our God to make the best decisions at the time- the line between enabling and helping is so very thin by some definition and it is a broad chasm in other definitions - wow - when we have to turn our concepts of love inside out and upside down and try to make decisions through that unnatural perspective it is hard for anything to feel right - God bless all who are trying to fight through the cobwebs - God bless us all

tam

I dont know what his rock bottom will be, if there ever is one or such a thing...but I do know one thing for sure, I hit my own rock bottom from it

dollydo

I believe that my exabf has no bottom. Been in prison, lost his family, lost friends, lost job(s), has no one or nothing and still uses and drinks. Thirty years of doing hard drugs and drinking until he is out of his mind, has taught him nothing. He will die an addict.

keepinon

sometimes a rock bottom is just being sick and tired of being sick and tired....not any particular event, just the cumulative effects of the lifestyle

Teggie

Tam hit it on the spot for me. I hit my rock bottom while waiting for him to hit his. Now his rock bottom isn't my concern anymore.

Freedom1990

Amen to that! It was the same for me.

Unfortunately his rock bottom was death.

devastated

My idea of "rock bottom" is when the addict has burned all his bridges with friends and his family, although they will always love him, refuse to help him anymore.

When they have no place to go, no place to stay warm, no place to eat, maybe then, when they get good and tired of trying to find the simple necessities of life, they will surrender.

As long as they still can "use" a friend or family, they continue to feed their addiction.

Hugs, Devastated

crazybabie

Tam, I am thinking I am gonna hit mine before he ever does if he ever does as well, this is killing me.