steve1840

you can see by my other thread that i am starting to move forward, and i am glad about that. i hate though how quickly i can go from that to having the return of the sinking feeling.

i lost my cell phone today, or left it in my car. i was cool all day about it, but now i am thinking- what if i cant find it and she needs to call.
(and the answer i am expecting to see is- thats a good thing. at least now i partly agree, except i dont want her thinking i am ignoring her)

starting tomorrow i am without a car for about two months at least. what is she want to go to that detox place 2 hours away.
(the anser i expect is- she will find a ride. i dont know who would take her)

its like i am attached to a rubber band. i start to pull away, but hte further i get, i start to feel the tension and i beginto allow myself to be pulled back.

i guess this is normal.

(i hope the title of this thread didnt make that 70s song get stuck in your head)

wicked

:rotfxko
oh steve, in some other life you will pay for making that song go thru my head all night.
doo doo doo doo do do.
dammit.

i think you are doing well steve.
you are giving yourself the answers.
and from your other thread, i got that too.
"you are a cold, hard, person - just like your father."
well, okay, i had two children with you, we have been married for twelve years.
but, i started to pull away, that is when i became the cold hard woman.
yep. when i wasnt treating king baby in the manner he had become accustomed too.
then, the tantrums started.

EJG123

Try to stop worrying about what she thinks about you. As for rides, I would be willing to bet that she could find someone at any AA or NA meeting who'd drive her to a detox if she asked- even if it is some distance away.

Babyblue

Progress is measured in inches Steve, not miles. You are very self aware and at some point there will be more pulling away with less guilt.

It will get easier and you will see how enmeshed you are with her life and how it has taken so much from you.

You see it already but you still have that fantasy thinking about knowing the future or the ability to control the future and you don't.

You can only control yourself.

PurpleWilder

Sometimes our HP steps in when we are stuck. Maybe losing your phone is that kind of thing. Live without it for a while. See what happens. I'm willing to bet that if she can't get a hold of you, she'll find another way to get things done.

sofacat

steve- "it's like i am attached to a rubber band. i start to pull away, but hte further i get, i start to feel the tension and i beginto allow myself to be pulled back.

i guess this is normal."

Yes it most certainly is, Steve. You're fighting your own urges to want to fix and save another human being.

It's our own Codie detox process, if you will.

You're doing great! You've come a long, long way Sir.

cece1960

Steve,
Ann here mentions often about God gifts ( or HP ) in strangly wrapped packages. Perhaps you are getting a little help?

BBD

Steve, Who is she with when she's not with you?/ Believe me~~if she wants help~ she can get it. You do not need to rescue her....sounds to me that someone needs to rescue you hon. Hang in there..Life has a way and its all in the hands of her HP now. Believe that!!! It should give you some comfort.

Freedom1990

How about a little humor, Steve? A slightly different take on the song!



(I hope I made you smile!)