advice needed

Old 10-18-2010, 09:36 PM
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advice needed

my bf who i recently had a baby with just went away for a detox program. he had an issue a few years back before we even started dating and i guess he never got a handle on ..however he said he was clean and i didnt really question it...the past year though has beenb a rollercoasster of mood swings lies and hell. if i knew what he was about i would not have been with him or had a baby with him....i did have feeling for him but after the hell i been through i look at him with disgust now...i hate him...he wants to come back after he is done with detox but i am sooo angry athim for this...not to sound selfish but this is not what i want to deal with in life... i am sorry he has a problem but its not like cancer this is a path he chose..he liked getting high he did this....im pissed. i have 4 other children from a previous marriage and he put their lives in danger by driving with them high in the car....i am mad at myself for allowing him to come into my home and lie to me and them....now i have this beautiful lil girl with him and i dnt even want him to be apart of her life i feel he doesnt deserve her...he led me to believe he was a hard worker great provider and he has nothing can offer nothing and because of his addiction i spent the last year and my whole pregnancy stressed and frustrated because he made me think i was crazy every time i said something was wrong with him!is this normal is my hate and anger normal....do i let him back or do i cut my losses and try and move on...
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Old 10-18-2010, 10:28 PM
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welcome to SR!
you sound like an independent, strong woman. you have every right to be angry and feel the way you do, and you know what you will and will not accept. i think it is obvious to yourself that you will no longer accept the craziness that goes with being with an active addict.
he is choosing his path, and you must choose yours. what is best for you and your children. (who he gave up rights to by being on drugs)
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Old 10-19-2010, 05:36 AM
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I am sorry to here what you are going through. I am in a very similar boat with my AH and it is painful. Our children have to come first and we have to get help for ourselves. I am seeing a counselor and going to a meeting once a week. I have also been to the meetings here and it is all helping. It really helps to let go of the anger and be healthy.
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Old 10-20-2010, 07:05 AM
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Anger can be useful..it makes you move..take action. It is also normal. Whatever you decide to do, find a program for yourself..maybe alanoin or naranon..they help me alot.
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