Uh Oh
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
Your best bet would be to talk to someone at a woman's group/organization for domestic violence. They could give you the best advice on how to proceed regarding restraining orders etc. It is a process to do that and restraining orders still don't guarantee safety.
Try developing a safety plan should he really snap (who to call, what to do in that moment etc). Your safety always comes first.
His behavior is more than 'odd', it is at minimum very disturbing. I'm sorry your mom is dismissing this, it isn't helping you see that this is psychological and emotional abuse and the thing with that is it is more than likely to escalate to physical. Do take his threats seriously as others have said. Definately tell your therapist about this as well.
Stay safe!
Try developing a safety plan should he really snap (who to call, what to do in that moment etc). Your safety always comes first.
His behavior is more than 'odd', it is at minimum very disturbing. I'm sorry your mom is dismissing this, it isn't helping you see that this is psychological and emotional abuse and the thing with that is it is more than likely to escalate to physical. Do take his threats seriously as others have said. Definately tell your therapist about this as well.
Stay safe!
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Therapy isn't the point right now..
domestic violence counseling is very different.
You ARE a worthwhile lady..that is why we are practically begging you to take care of yourself.
He is crazy and crazy people do crazy things.
domestic violence counseling is very different.
You ARE a worthwhile lady..that is why we are practically begging you to take care of yourself.
He is crazy and crazy people do crazy things.
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by keepinon 
I would want my daughter to be safe. I'm not sure your mom actually has a full grasp on how serious this could be.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by MaryGoRound
Thanks guys...i mean he doesnt know where i live now, i'm almost done with school and i have him blocked...
He said he SHOULD have done graphic things. and said that I'm a horrible person blah blah and should do everyone a favor and die. That I deserve it....
So maybe think about a restraining order...Yeah Nena, the behavior is very odd. And in the case of my A, its become even more odd...I asked him if he was serious about the threat and he just sent me naked pictures of girls like over and over....
You are still in contact with him?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: PM me
Posts: 324
No I was elaborating on the same conversation...
Thanks guys, I read the story. horrific.
He doesn't know where I live now. Its far away. Day to day, i dont feel harmed.
he said something crazy and threatening, got crazy and bizarre, I contacted the only place where we have contact now, and I am staying away.
End of story.
Getting a PPO would put me in more contact with him than I have now. And it would fuel the anger. I don't feel comfortable doing that. I do think about it, cuz I understand that many women are either blind or blindsided, but I've done what I needed to do in MY SITUATION. I try and think if I am that woman in that story in anyway and I am not.
My mom just told me the same thing, that these people are insane and i need to stay away. I agree she just made me feel worse and went about it in a bad way, but that's all can do is just stay as far away as possibl.e
Thanks guys, I read the story. horrific.
He doesn't know where I live now. Its far away. Day to day, i dont feel harmed.
he said something crazy and threatening, got crazy and bizarre, I contacted the only place where we have contact now, and I am staying away.
End of story.
Getting a PPO would put me in more contact with him than I have now. And it would fuel the anger. I don't feel comfortable doing that. I do think about it, cuz I understand that many women are either blind or blindsided, but I've done what I needed to do in MY SITUATION. I try and think if I am that woman in that story in anyway and I am not.
My mom just told me the same thing, that these people are insane and i need to stay away. I agree she just made me feel worse and went about it in a bad way, but that's all can do is just stay as far away as possibl.e
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I remember when my XABF first started making threats verbally and then physically.
I remember when I started having thoughts that he would hurt me and how.
And
I remember the day the thought occurred to me that I should NEVER EVEN WONDER if someone I love would harm me. I should NEVER HAVE TO CONSIDER how I would defend myself against them.
Your instincts are telling you there's a danger. You can listen to them and protect yourself or you can dismiss them and risk your safety.
If a stranger on the street threatened you, would you accept it to avoid making the stranger's life difficult or getting them in trouble? If you took even a fraction of a second to answer that question, there's nothing I can say.
I feel so helpless when it's just words on a screen. I can't grab you by the shoulders and shake you until you see what we are all trying to tell you.
It is my hope and prayer that you take threats on your life seriously.
Alice
I remember when I started having thoughts that he would hurt me and how.
And
I remember the day the thought occurred to me that I should NEVER EVEN WONDER if someone I love would harm me. I should NEVER HAVE TO CONSIDER how I would defend myself against them.
Your instincts are telling you there's a danger. You can listen to them and protect yourself or you can dismiss them and risk your safety.
If a stranger on the street threatened you, would you accept it to avoid making the stranger's life difficult or getting them in trouble? If you took even a fraction of a second to answer that question, there's nothing I can say.
I feel so helpless when it's just words on a screen. I can't grab you by the shoulders and shake you until you see what we are all trying to tell you.
It is my hope and prayer that you take threats on your life seriously.
Alice
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Posts: 324
thank you zombie wife and live...
yeah he is headed into that territory...luckily he doesn't maintain relationships with people consistently enough to live with someone in order to have any relationship like that. He's loosing it and anyone who is in his way right now is at high risk, actually just anyone around him...I hope no one else gets hurt and if he dies I hope someone finds him.
I feel very good about things happening in my life right now. I'm going to Au pair in Spain in January!
yeah he is headed into that territory...luckily he doesn't maintain relationships with people consistently enough to live with someone in order to have any relationship like that. He's loosing it and anyone who is in his way right now is at high risk, actually just anyone around him...I hope no one else gets hurt and if he dies I hope someone finds him.
I feel very good about things happening in my life right now. I'm going to Au pair in Spain in January!
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
(one tiny note...there were lots of stories on that site..I haven't finished reading them..but you don't have to live with them for things to get nasty.)
now...SPAIN!!!!
OMG, how exciting is that?!!!!!
now...SPAIN!!!!
OMG, how exciting is that?!!!!!
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