oshkoshberjosh

Has anyone had experience with addicts and love triangles? More specifically, my therapist mentioned to me that addicts have a tendency to be attracted to what they cannot have.

Is there a tendency for addicts to try and break up other people's relationships? Either by becoming interested in one of the people romantically or by befriending one of the people and then nudging them to break up with their significant others?

I found out something today about the no-longer recovering addict that I had been interested in. In addition to the break up of the relationship I had with someone else, this addict also (years ago) slept around with his boss who was seeing someone else at the time.

Is this a common trait among addicts?

Live

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

I don't think that was fair of your therapist to say...quite a generalization there.

True that alcohol and other drugs may lower inhibitions and people do things that they wouldn't otherwise do, but other than that I don't buy it.

And I say that even though that XABF of mine lovedf triangles..but I consider that a separate problem....

either one having been more than enough for me to get the heck out of his way ..for good.

Ann

I am guessing that any active addict would show a lack of good judgement that might be conducive to not caring about anyone else but themselves. That's just what (active) addicts do.

Maybe take the lesson and leave the rest and move forward a little wiser for the bad experience.

Hugs

MagdaTheGreat

Humans have a tendency to be attracted to what they cannot have.

Addicts are in general quite heedless, which means they inadvertently harm the people around them. It doesn't mean that they intentionally try to hurt other people.

I think we should be more careful about ascribing certain personality traits to every addict.

Babyblue

If you generally have poor regard for other people's feelings (as many addicts) then they are hardly the beacons of good judgement when it comes to relationships while in active addiction. If they are recovered then I think that generalization is just that, a generalization.

meditation

I don't think this is just typical of only an addiction to drugs.
This is typical of anyone male or female that has a need to manipulate others or is attention seeking or is very needy or immature. I know addicts can be all of that but it's not just addicts. You see this a great deal in high school drama situations. Some people just never grow up. I saw maybe in rehab this situation happening one out of 120 people. The rest either were as happily married as one can be addicted to drugs or were single and had been burnt by the opposite sex in some way or just dating casually. It wasn't a common theme.
Some addicts never do anything like this, they are too depressed to be interested in anyone else.

PurpleWilder

Maybe they just find themselves attracted to personal situations that create enough drama for everyone that no one notices their addictions. Not always romantic ones - could be family stuff or work drama or health issues, etc. JMHO.

kiki5711

You don't have to be an addict or an alcoholic to have dysfunctional thinking.

Ann

Very true....but being an addict or alcoholic is already dysfunctional thinking.

Addicts are sick people, I think we can all agree on that, and sick people very rarely have healthy relationships.

Hugs