Kindeyes

I'm probably obsessing......no.......there's no probably about it. lol

The last contact I had from my AS was an email. It simply said "Off to see the docs in the morning... thank you, and I love you!!"

This was after he had told me a couple of days earlier that he was going to check himself into detox and had asked again for the telephone number. The email was a response email to my email providing the phone numbers to him (because he had asked for them).

I haven't heard anything else from him since that last email.

So here is my question. For those who have experience with detox, what happens?

My thoughts have been.....

......he checked in and they said they couldn't help him.
......he never checked in.
......he checked in and they didn't have a bed so he had to come back on another day.
......he checked in and they put him directly in the hospital because he was so messed up.
......there is no telephone so he can't call me to let me know he's ok.
......he's dead and his wallet has been stolen so they can't identify him and find me.
......he's working on himself and has to do this alone with support from others in recovery.
......he's still living on the streets and is shooting up every chance he gets.

And then my thoughts turn to....

.....you have no control.
.....he is in God's hands.
.....Let GO and LET GOD.
.....Let GO or be DRAGGED.

Now....all of that is the definition of insanity, right? (I'm laughing at myself right now.)

These are the ponderings of a person struggling to hold on to her serenity. These are the things that I need to get out of my head and onto "paper" so that it's no longer inside of me threatening my sanity!

I'm currently working Step Two......I need to trust that my HP is going to restore me to sanity. I think this is going to take some WORK!

gentle hugs

suki44883

.....you have no control.
.....he is in God's hands.
.....Let GO and LET GOD.
.....Let GO or be DRAGGED

Hurtbad2505

Do you have a way that you normally contact him? I know we are supposed to step back and let the addicts HP guide them where they need to go. I also know as a mother, that until 'we' know that #6 on your list can be crossed off, that's probably not going to happen. I'm sorry you have to go through this Kindeyes, I can tell you are a wonderful person..and I hope you get some answers soon. Hugs

Live

Many places don't allow any phone calls for the first 24 hours.

EJG123

My AD was in detox briefly. I was told that if she signed a release to allow them to give me updates on her, they could do that. You might want to ask what the facility's policy is. Maybe they could ask him if he'd like to sign a release if he is there and if they allow it. However, I think it is best just to wait. I think you will know the outcome soon enough. Stay strong.

Babyblue

If there was a bed open, they may have taken him right away. Difficult to know but some places limit contact with the outside world until the person gets stabilized.

keepinon

easier said than done, but one of the Dont's in alanon is "Don't check up on the Alcoholic".Sucks, but good advice..hang in there he will be in touch one way or another soon.

Kindeyes

Hey all
Thanks for the feedback. As much as anything I was wondering what the process of getting into detox and what happens once there.

But you are all right.......I will know in time. I have no way of getting in touch with him at this point. He is homeless and has no telephone. I have no idea where he goes or who he may be staying with.

I need to not worry (and as long as I keep myself busy I can do that) and know that he is in God's hands.

It's hard getting such a positive, upbeat message and then nothing. I suspect that something happened that either didn't allow him to get into detox or he walked out deciding that he wasn't ready. Whatever the case......knowing or not knowing does not change anything.

When my Dad died in the aircraft accident, I wondered for the longest time what actually happened. Did he have a medical event? Did the plane fail? Did he do it on purpose (although he wasn't depressed)? The NTSB never concluded anything. I have had to accept the fact that I will never really know what happened in those last few seconds of his life as his plane fell to earth. And knowing wouldn't change the outcome.

This is where I have to step back and trust my higher power. I need to have faith that the universe is unfolding as it should (not as I dictate it should....lol). Faith. I need to work on faith.

ooooohh boy......I have an awful lot to work on.....that should keep me busy.

gentle hugs (I love you guys)

Kindeyes

AND I need to come back and read my last post when I start to get all weird about needing to know where he is.

Sometimes I crack myself up.

Callie

With xah I couldn't speak with him for around 7-9 days while detoxing? Then after he'd detoxed his counselor called me and there was open dialogue after that. He'd call me, I could call him (counselor). Xah had to sign a Hipa form for them to even be able to tell me if he was even there, let alone talk to him.

dollydo

Kindeyes, you are a loving mother, however, your son is an adult, and entitled to make his own decisions, whether you agree or not.

With that said, your obseessing is not going to change one little thing, he is till going to do what he is going to do, he is going to be where ever he wants to be.

Your stressing is only hurting you.

Is he your only child? I believe that you have a husband, where does he fit in the equasion? Have you tried channeling your thoughts in another more positive direction?

I know this is difficult, but, you too have a life, you have done all you can do,perhaps it is time to trust the HP.

All said with concern for your well being.

EJG123

KIndeyes- Don't know if it will help but my AD's experience with detox was this: She called and made an appointment with intake. She was told she could get opiate detox but there were 40 people ahead of her because she did not have insurance. However, they said it might not take too long because the others on the list would not all make it in. She was told to be in withdrawal on arrival. She was told to leave a contact number where she could be reached when it was her turn. She called for weeks and was assured she was still on the list but it was not her turn yet. After 2 months they called my house and I was able to find her and take her there around noon. She was given a urine drug test, told to watch some kind of video, and was admitted. After that I don't have many details but apparently she was given Ultram and a bed. It was expected that she would be there a week. However, she was unable to sleep, had restless legs, and could not smoke or get Nicorette so she checked herself out after 12 hours.

Your son's experience might be totally different, but if he does get admitted then likely he'd have a safe place to stay and some medical care to treat withdrawal symptoms. I don't mean to be negative but even if he does get detoxed, he will likely need a lot of support and determination to get through post acute withdrawal symptoms. However, I think it is a positive step that he took the initiative to contact a detox program. Whatever the outcome, at least he has started to look for a way out.

newnormal4me

Kindeyes, my heart goes out to you. No matter what, we love them, and it's hard to shut those obsessive thoughts off.

My suggestion...(if you are a Bible reading person!) Phil 4:6-7 and Hebrews chapter 11! I need a faith booster too right now. Maybe I should head my own advice.

****{HUGS}}}

chicory

((((((((Kindeyes)))))))

I have been thinking of you, wondering how it is going for you. I know this has to be terribly hard. It would be for me, anyway.

I will be keeping you and your son in my thoughts and prayers today. I am keeping positive thoughts that you will hear from him soon!
hugs,
chicory