Xanex? or is the Doctor trying to kill her?
 

My AW is has stopped to going to meetings and is now telling me that if I help monitor her Xanex use all will be Well. Never mind the fact that three months ago she was weaned off Xanex and on to Buspar during her tenth trip to rehab. Because the new Subutex Doctor feels if I control the Xanex three a day rain or shine all will be well. Did he just get here on a boat? First visit and he switches her from from a drug Buspar they only use to wean people off Xanex and he gives her Xanex!

In the four years we have been together the worst arguments are when she is on Xanex!

But today I took some advice some of you gave me and wrote a letter to her doctor. I told her I wrote the letter. She said if I really have written a letter she will leave me. I said do what you have to do but I wrote the letter.

I feel like twenty pounds is off my shoulders. Of course her doctor is such an idiot he will probably keep prescribing it. My next act will be giving him a video tape of her while she is intoxicated on the Xanex and Subutex

I am proactive in my recovery. That means I am honest with every one of my medical providers.

Your wife has had ten trips to rehab? She's smart enough now to be a danger to herself, and possibly others.

She has a mouth, and had the opportunity to be honest about her past xanax abuse to the new doctor.

Obviously she didn't do that, did she?

Yikes..so sorry the Dr. is helping her relapse! How frustrating! Good for you..you did what you did, told her, and will live with the consequnces. Seriously 10 rehabs? That is incredible.

Wow. 10 trips?? How the heck can you afford 10 trips to rehab??

Seems to me, her use or non-use of Xanax is her deal, not yours. IMHO.

Wish I could give you a magic pill to help you get to where you probably would rather be - without the pain or insanity - that I went through. I did all that you're doing. I called the doctors, I tried controlling the pills, I had arguments with a non-conscious adult, contrary to what he looked like. None of it made a difference until he was ready to stop. It was ugly; it was scary. I don't wish that on anyone. Do what you need to do for you - which is take care and control the only thing you really can ---- you. I wish you well.

Asked by the Doctor to help
 

Yes I know that writing the letter was me trying to force her to leave or get help. I am ambivalent about either one. I stay to protect my daughter. If she gets thrown out of Doctor she loses a supply of her dope. Maybe she will leave..... Maybe she will go back to rehab and detox again.... Maybe she will find another way to get her pills....

But she won't get the money from me.

I am not paying for her lawyer for her DUI.

She got cancelled off of our car insurance I won't pay for a new policy

She has no car I won't let her use mine

She refuses to get a job won't walk half a mile to kroger who is hiring

Won't take a bus anywhere

Quit going to meetings

Her dope friends won't come get her cause she has no money.

Either she is going to leave for good or go to a rehab center again.

I won't pick her up when she quits or gets thrown out

28 days not enough for me this time she can't move back until 90 day sober living is over and that is if everything went perfect doubtful

I pray I am wrong but I think she is one of the ones who goes to jail or the grave.

That is such a powerful statement. You know it's not enough. Keep your boundaries clear - what is and isn't acceptable in you and your daughter's life.

I wasn't trying to sound preachy or anything in my post - I just identified with so much of yours. I thought if I showed the doctor what was really going on, then just maybe things would work out for my RAH. Or, if I proved to him, my husband, what he really did when he was on xanax, then maybe he'd finally get it (I had pictures and everything!). I had my foot half way out the door, so to speak, the whole time. It wasn't until I accepted, and began to live with, the fact that it was better for me to spend less time on him and more time on myself, that I began to make real change in my life.

Again, this me talking about my ES&H. I hope yours continues to move towards a positive place for you and your daughter.