Being with an addict,what do you regret doing?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Egypt
Posts: 68
Being with an addict,what do you regret doing?
Okay so i was reading this thread "Stupid things you've done?" in alcoholism section. All of us (having a family member or a loved one who is an addict) have done things so wrong that when we look back at it we cant believe we even did it. What do you regret doing?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 12
so many things..
i regret believing him when he said he was sorry
i regret not following my gut feeling and leaving
i regret feeling bad when i rightly accused him of being high
i regret sleeping with him while he was high
i regret how crazy the relationship made me
i regret calling his crazy ex gf because she wasn´t worth it
i regret opening up to him
i regret believing him when he said he was just tired
i regret not seeing the signs
i regret taking the risk
i regret loving him
i regret believing him when he said he was sorry
i regret not following my gut feeling and leaving
i regret feeling bad when i rightly accused him of being high
i regret sleeping with him while he was high
i regret how crazy the relationship made me
i regret calling his crazy ex gf because she wasn´t worth it
i regret opening up to him
i regret believing him when he said he was just tired
i regret not seeing the signs
i regret taking the risk
i regret loving him
First, I'm trying not to regret things from the past as much. I feel for my own growth, recovery, healing, whatever you want to call it, that I need to do this so that I can begin to forgive myself and move forward. That said....
I regret lowering my standards which made me accept unacceptable things in my life - from the moment he first relapsed and on.
Now I know better so I can do better ~ from now on.
Hugs~
I regret lowering my standards which made me accept unacceptable things in my life - from the moment he first relapsed and on.
Now I know better so I can do better ~ from now on.
Hugs~
i regret feeling bad when i rightly accused him of being high - Yes
i regret believing him when he said he was just tired - Yes
i regret not seeing the signs - & Yes
I agree with all these...I also, then, ultimately regret allowing myself to sit in denial for many years...long enough to bring two beautiful, innocent daughters (whom I love more than life) into the middle of our chaos...
i regret believing him when he said he was just tired - Yes
i regret not seeing the signs - & Yes
I agree with all these...I also, then, ultimately regret allowing myself to sit in denial for many years...long enough to bring two beautiful, innocent daughters (whom I love more than life) into the middle of our chaos...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
I regret letting myself snoop, letting myself hate my DH (instead of the addiction itself).
I regret all the time I spent trying to go through text messages, searching the house for signs.
I regret not getting help for myself sooner.
So much regrets. But, in a way, I had to go through all of that to grow and evolve.
I regret all the time I spent trying to go through text messages, searching the house for signs.
I regret not getting help for myself sooner.
So much regrets. But, in a way, I had to go through all of that to grow and evolve.
I, too, don't want to use the word regret because I am grateful for the h*ll that brought me here. (on my good days) But I like this thread a lot.
What makes me saddest is how I did not honor my gut, my instincts, my heart. I twisted all these things up to try to make sense of all the insanity of addiction.
I thought I was crazy but somewhere deep down I knew I was right and that the situation wasn't healthy. But I didn't listen to that little voice. I listened to a lot of other ones instead.
I betrayed myself, and I have so much sadness for that. I'm sorry N&D (that's me), you really are worth a lot more.
What makes me saddest is how I did not honor my gut, my instincts, my heart. I twisted all these things up to try to make sense of all the insanity of addiction.
I thought I was crazy but somewhere deep down I knew I was right and that the situation wasn't healthy. But I didn't listen to that little voice. I listened to a lot of other ones instead.
I betrayed myself, and I have so much sadness for that. I'm sorry N&D (that's me), you really are worth a lot more.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 18
everything i went thru with him in 9 months was worth the lessen he thought me. I learned how to be humble and be more compassiante to people going thru troubles in life. The one thing i regret that i did was drinking in front of him when he got out of rehab. That is the only thing he can say today i did wrong and i know it was wrong.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: California, USA
Posts: 293
Just balling my eyes out, identifying with pretty much everything that has been stated. . .not wanting to regret but still regretting. . .realizing how much I still need to recover & grow. . .I wish I made different choices but like many of you put forth, maybe those were the choices I had to make to ge to where I could begin to heal (from generations of addiction/co-dependency).
No regrets. As a codependent personality I was bound to fall into a situation similar to the one with my exabf at some point. I am grateful for the experience and grateful for the lessons it taught me as I move on from it. I am now fully aware of the red flags, more aware of my intuition, and ready to face whatever could be thrown at me in the future! I have learned and continue to learn so much about myself that I never would have been able to if I hadn't lived a relationship with an addict. The best lessons are learned first hand through personal experience - and wow, what an experience!
Thank you for this thread!
xoxo
Thank you for this thread!
xoxo
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
I regret not trusting my gut. I regret closing my eyes instead of looking around at the obvious.
I too try to not let regret seep in. I wouldn't have 2 awesome kids without xah. My biggest regret is not getting out sooner. I could have, should have left years ago. But I'm not a quitter, right? I kept trying and trying and trying. All the while he got worse and worse. I followed suit right behind him.
I too try to not let regret seep in. I wouldn't have 2 awesome kids without xah. My biggest regret is not getting out sooner. I could have, should have left years ago. But I'm not a quitter, right? I kept trying and trying and trying. All the while he got worse and worse. I followed suit right behind him.
I regret not finding you all sooner!!!!!
I never did the leg work to find help and support for Me through it all. I was too busy trying to help Him. I didn't know there was support for people like us.
It was my fault for not looking into it.
But I'm here now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never did the leg work to find help and support for Me through it all. I was too busy trying to help Him. I didn't know there was support for people like us.
It was my fault for not looking into it.
But I'm here now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)