smith2b555

Ever had one of those moments that are so sad and pitiful but you could not help but laugh?

One day when I was in the kitchen cooking AH came in to get a glass from the cupboard. I was turned towards the stove and I heard this banging noise. When I turned around all I could do was stare stunned then burst out laughing. He was so doped up, half gone, his head kept hitting the cupboard but he was coherent enough to straighten his head back up only to BAM! again and again. I grabbed him by the shoulders and walked him back to his chair in the living room. Then went back into the kitchen to lie through my teeth and said to my friend who was over " he's on new meds, they can't get it right".

hello-kitty

Wow. I don't see the humor in it. I'd be so mortified if my husband did that in front of my friend.

I'm glad you can laugh at it though - better than crying I guess.

Live

Learning a sense of humor has been a saving grace in my life.

But most of the things I laugh about now, I was furious with at the time and I laugh more at myself cause he really did give me reason to be mad as heck.

It does sound like a sick slapstick routine!

Live

there's a thread on here somewhere about mean things we have fantasized...I think I am the one that has fessed up to doing some of the craziest things...so far....
and yeah, we are laughing our butts off.

Nerdgirl

My SIL bought herself a stay in a locked ward once. She called 911 to report that her brother was stuck inside the clothes dryer. The police came, verified that no one was stuck but she was hallucinating so badly that they took her away. Nope, not funny at all.... Scary and sad is more like it.

kiki5711

I use to find SOME drunken/drugged moments funny, but less and less as time goes by because when I think back on MY doped up/alcoholic days, it just aint funny any more.

I made a fool of myself more times than I want to remember. Peed in my bed cause I was too drunk to get up, fell in the kitchen and hit my back on the counter so hard that I got a fracture, fell on the way in cause I couldn't keep my balance and got a big bruise on my back, fractured both my wrists...etc...

Not so funny when I think back.

Live

I def do not want to live with that kind of crap....but most of us do laugh at the slip on the banana peel antic?
I did a pretty cool one slipping on the ice and I laughed the hardest.
But I was also clean and sober when I did it.
I knew it looked funny.

MsPINKAcres

BTDT

HUGS to you living in that situation - praying you are delivered from that mental & emotional abuse soon.

PINK HUGS,
Rita

lunaa

That must be painful.

ItsmeAlice

You know I once posted about this very thing!

I was so surprised at how I found the most macabre stuff a laugh riot when I got some recovery time under my belt. I've always had a dark sense of humor, but I could at least stop myself before laughing at someone else's actual misfortunate and yet there I was having a laugh at all manner of things like sad movies, flat tires, and of course XABF's misery.

I hadn't yet separated from X at that point, but I had learned some good coping tools and was really working on my detachment with compassion.

Looking back, I wonder if I had been so miserable and feeling so suppressed for so long by my constant involvement in his drinking, his moods, his ugly behavior not to mention the emotional abuse from him that when I finally, finally, finally took a big healthy step back from him, my funny bone was exposed. Like a raw nerve stimulated by anything and everything.

I'll tell you I cried a lot less in those days, but I did question my sanity and compassion level for sure.

Fro my experience, I think you are on the right track. Go ahead and have that laugh to yourself. It helps with detaching and seeing his behavior as that of a sick person and not someone or something you created. Laughter is a coping skill like anything else. Clearly you moved him out of harm's way and sent him back to his safe zone. That's your compassion still intact and guiding you and that's a good thing.

Over time, I haven't lost that humor though, and it has gotten me through a tough struggle back to my own life, but it has tamed a bit. My wide range of human emotions has returned and I have learned how to live within them in healthy ways without the wild extremes.

You're learning as you go. Keep up the great work!!!

Alice

enoughandenough

i pray everyday that i find the grace to forgive
i pray everyday that he won´t be the first thing on my mind when i wake up
i pray everyday that i dont get that feeling in my stomach when i think about some way he lied
and i pray everyday that the most horrible moments will eventually give me a sigh of relief that im out, and maybe even a giggle that i went through all of that and came out a better person.

lunaa

Pray and Post. I know peace of mind will finally come.

laurie6781

Hindsight they say is 20/20 vision. Well ..................... I have BTDT not once but TWICE (Yes, I am a slow learner, lol) with 2 alcoholic husbands.

Both were just a 'shell' of the man I was in truly in love with (the one both our parents separated me from by sending us in opposite directions across the country over 44 years ago).

Since I have been reunited with my 'true' mate, I do compare somethimes and reflect. Get to see how really 'stupid' I was. I get a lot of gratitude in these reflections, to see how far I have come, how I learned to live with ME without a mate or man, and to become really comfortable with ME.

Makes the time we now have together so much more precious! Makes those years and years of working on ME so worthwhile.

Is he perfect? roflmao Far from it, but he would not be who I always believed he was back then if he was. He is just the same inside.

You will get beyond this, and you can have a great life! I won't claim it has been easy, quite hard at times, but it is all so well worth it.

Life does have peace and serenity in it for me today. I wouldn't have though had I not done the work, attended the meetings, joined this and other sites, listened to others, ESPECIALLY WHEN I DIDN'T WANT TO, lol

So (((((Smith2b555))))) I will send up prayers and good thoughts that you too can move past and beyond your current situation and find peace and serenity for you.

Love and hugs,

smith2b555

I am at the point now where I am not mortified by his actions. It's not me who brought on the embarrassment. secretly, I hope every person who has seen him in that condition points it out to him. Then he can see what his addiction does to him. I want him to be mortified. I have to laugh sometimes or I would be angry all the time as well as mortified. The only reason I don't tell everyone we know about him is because in some sick way I feel like I would betray him. I'm glad when he does stuff that acknowledges his problem to other people. I don't even have to say anything.

smith2b555

I find myself less and less compassionate daily. Just for him though. As far as my sanity, well, every time I lose it I know soon I will feel better. I can't feel worse at that point. LOL. Crying.........I dried up a long time ago. Unless it's that time of the month then a commercial can make me cry, LOL.