1 more hour of peace
 

The work day for me is almost over. I am dreading going home. He's probably got the air conditioner on 65 because of his hot flashes. the sheets are probably ripped off the bed by now. Everything in the bathroom will be on the counters. he will be looking for something to control the diarhea and nausea. he's probably sitting on the bathroom floor sweating like crazy and mad as can be. or he will be waiting for me by the door so he can tell me how I don't understand what he is going through and that I don't love or even care about him. Then he'll want me to call around to see if I can find him some pills and I'll just ignore him. he will get mad and then try to drink the withdrawals away only to discover that I cleared out all the alcohol a few days ago. I don't know if im going home.

I am not sure I would either smith2b.
Sorry about this stuff.
Damn, you know exactly what is happening.

When it reaches the point where you would rather go just about anywhere other than home, I'd say it's time to make some changes. :grouphug:

If YOU don't want to go home, then DON'T! You know, it's perfectly alright to do what YOU want to do sometimes!

DON'T! Why would you? That doesn't sound like a home to me. That sounds like a nightmare. Home is supposed to be a place of refuge. The place you described sounds hellish.

Do you have any plans in place to get out? Do you have a friend you can go stay with until you figure out who you are and what you want?

Don't go home, no reason to.

Why do you stay?

That sounds pretty miserable. Like you, I love an addict (my AS) but thank goodness I don't have to live with him!

gentle hugs

I feel like I can't leave. I do love him. I knew him before all this and I know deep down he is so dissappointed in himself. Besides I don't have anywhere to go. Last night I got home and he was closed up in the bedroom and stayed to himself. All I could do was clean because thats what I do when I am stressed. I scrubbed the heck out of the kitchen floor. This morning all he said was " I'm sorry about this". I have heard that so many times......If I had a nickel........... Yesterday was a hard day for me. I get so fed up sometimes. We got into an argument a couple days ago. He said I was hoarding money. I do, I try to keep as much as I can out of his reach but just because we need to pay the bills and if he gets it , as you all well know its gone for his habit. He keeps telling me I need to take charge of the situation because he needs a leader. What? I am thinking about divorce but I hate the idea. We made a great team.....once upon a time. last time he did the methadone treatment he almost had it, then as he was weened down to very little he thought he could just stop cold turkey. Then the cycle started again. What was the last straw for some of you?

It doesn't really matter what was my last straw.... this is about YOU. Only YOU can decide when YOU have had enough chaos and drama in your life. Only YOU can decide when it is time to go and rebuild a peaceful life.

As is so often said here.... You will know when it is time. I found that to be true myself.

The last straw for me was a few days ago when my addict boyfriend called me names infront of my parents,he was high and he humilated me infront of them.Its not like he has never done that before but it was the first time infront of them.it was humilating because they dont know anything about his addiction and i kept begging him to stay calm because i didnt want them to know anything but he was so mad that he kept yelling and shouting they heard everything. it was my last straw because through our relationship i had covered up for him everytime he did crazy things or treated me badly i'de lie to them and to everyone because i dont want his addiction found out but it hit me that i cant go on like this forever and that he has gone totally out of control.