nonsensical guilt?

Old 09-22-2010, 11:36 AM
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nonsensical guilt?

here is a perfect example of how i have been lately.

even with her chosing to use and all, when we meet she's usually a bit perky, like happy to see me and asks about my day etc.

i had little excitement in my voice when i answered.

now I feel guilty. i think, at least she is trying to be nice to me and i basically shoot her down. almost passive-aggresively. i hate that. i feel so bad about the that kind of stuff. it makes me feel like i hurt someone when they were down.

has anyone else ever felt like that?
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Old 09-22-2010, 11:59 AM
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I feel like that alot. My H always says "don't kick me when I'm down". Tough thing is he's always down. If he's up he certainly isn't around me. That's what I think about when I think I'm being hard on him. I remember the only reason he's even there and making me promises is because he's down without a fix and needs me to help him or give him sympathy. I don't get any in return though. the moment he gets his fix he's back to the same old same old.
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Old 09-22-2010, 12:23 PM
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Passive aggression felt like abuse when I was on the receiving end of it, yet it was a means of self protection when I doled it out. It all stopped when I applied a piece of AA wisdom to my life: say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it mean.
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Old 09-22-2010, 01:27 PM
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art of manipulation, they love us when we accomodate their lifestyle, then hate us when we dont enable..we are down when they are down, we are up when they are up, thats what they want us to feel, then it gets insane, thats what addiction does to us if you keep feeding it
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