tam

was just at the pharmacy talking to a old boyfriend in parking lot (his brother died from addiction) and we had a nice chat..in comes my husband, he gets out of the car and comes running over looking directly at me, my friend saids..oh s...I better go, I hugged my friend and walked toward my car..my husband said "are you okay? whats wrong are you feeling okay??? I said Im fine why? he said why are you here? he seemed in a panic either why I was holding a pharmacy bag or talking to a guy ,he hasnt asked me how I am in a long time,but I didnt answer, he said Im detoxing at the apt with the help of dr.."quack"..I said, good for you, good luck, hope you do it, he said Im vomiting and sweating , I said, this is dangerous you need to be inpatient, he said but Im doing it you can check my pharmacy scripts, I said no..no need for me to do that anymore, you do what you need to do for you, he said, but Im going to my onc.on friday,I said..I hope your blood tests are good, I hope and pray your chemo is working, take care of yourself and hope your able to get through this, be strong and dont give up..(.I know though this can all be a bunch of bs too) but I did it, I kept in control. I didnt melt.I didnt react like I used to, so I have come a long way..but yes it hurt to see him so frail, very thin, unshaven and shaking very very bad. I drove home and right away took my anxiety out on mowing the lawn. Im okay, Im not angry or anything, but sad, just sad to see him so ill. amazing how the higher power has put us recently in situations where we see each other though and I know he sees how far I have come and how I dont react like I used to about HIM...thank you all for giving me the knowledge, tools and strength (even though some replies hit me hard,lol) I truly truly appreciate this forum.

Ann

Not reacting is a big step and you did it perfectly.

It's harder when we are taken off guard, it took me a long time to get the hang of it. But when we "act" with thought, it's about US. When we "react" it's about them.

Good for you, one day at a time you will find it gets easier.

Hugs

keepinon

Good job,Tam.

Chino

tam, you're a shining example of detaching with love. So much pain yet you've got so much heart.

dollydo

Your recovery is shining through. Good job.

Impurrfect

(((Tam))) - I know that had to be hard, but you did GREAT!!! You're recovery is definitely shining

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Callie

Great job, that was hard I'm sure, but you handled yourself beautifully.