"leave me alone PLEASE!"

Old 09-14-2010, 06:08 PM
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"leave me alone PLEASE!"

I've said those words a few times today, because I'm in pain and I'm not pleasant to be around. I'm always in pain to be honest, because I've played hard and beat the hell out of my body. But I'm used to it and know how to deal with it. Except for right now because I have extra pain, have tendinitis, can't straighten my arm, and it's throbbing. Took prescription anti inflammatory and have an appt with my ortho surgeon tomorrow, too.

But this sure got me thinking about all the pressure we put on others, to make ourselves feel better. All of the nagging we like to call nudges. All the good intentions that get tuned out or thrown back at us.

I'm not capable right now of being nice, it's all I can do to keep from tearing the place apart and my arm, too. I don't want to talk with anyone and quit asking me if I can make plans for Thursday, I'm trying to get through this day narcotic free. Quit taking it personally because it isn't about you damnit, it's about my pain and getting through this moment. I can't pay attention to your hurt feelings because it's taking everything I've got to deal with this pain. I'm being responsible for my pain, would you please do the same?!

Leave me alone! I've asked you politely once and that's the only consideration you're going to get. Now I'm telling you to back off and leave me the hell alone! You're making everything worse than it has to be and you can't make this better!!!

I get it now that the shoe is on the other foot
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Old 09-14-2010, 06:12 PM
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Old 09-14-2010, 06:15 PM
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Old 09-14-2010, 06:19 PM
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I remember my son asking me once "How would you feel if every day someone asked you how you were, what you were doing and then telling you what you SHOULD do?"

That was my cue to back off. He was right.

So I'm sending hugs and saying a prayer that your pain will be relieved soon.

Hugs
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Old 09-14-2010, 09:03 PM
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Oh (((((Chino))))) you said it so well!!!!

When I am in pain or very sick, I get like a grizzly bear about to hibernate .......................... just leave me the hell alone and let me go in my cave and close the door. I will come out when I feel better.

Slowly over the years I have gotten the message out, I am NOT NICE when in GREAT PAIN, not nice at all, so I truly understand. You certainly have a lot more 'tact' than I do, rofl

Hope you get some results and relief soon!!!!!

Love and hugs,
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Old 09-14-2010, 11:16 PM
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(((Chino))) - good for you!!! I have days where I'm in pain, or have gone days without sleep and I do the same "just leave me alone, I'm ill as a hornet and you REALLY don't want to be around me". After enough times of someone getting their feelings hurt, they've finally learned to listen to me!

I hope you get to feeling better soon.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 09-15-2010, 12:19 AM
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I get that way emotionally. I get into a fear cycle of all the what if's of the future and when I am like that I need to isolate to keep from feeling more overwhelmed and tearing off anybody's head that happens to be in the vicinity. That was one reason I fell into drugs so easily..... it numbed me emotionally to fear and anxiety. It wasn't about other people it was about panic attacks. Lord I've asked this before but what did they do 200 years ago when they hurt physically and emotionally? Hit the booze? Chew on some sasafras bark? Beat the dog? Hopefully your day tomorrow will be a better day. A healing hug for you.
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Old 09-15-2010, 05:42 AM
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Although I'm really sorry for your pain - I've had similar and it really does pervade every thought and action for awhile- what a terrific post!

Isn't it cool how our HP can give us some unique insight into another person's situation or a different way? My recovery has taught me to be on the lookout for those "aha" moments.

You have such a great way with words, chino and are able to express yourself very well.
I hope you're able to find some relief from your tendonitis without compromising your own recovery and well being.

Big gentle hugs
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Old 09-15-2010, 05:55 AM
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Perfect Chino...

I hope you feel better soon.
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Old 09-15-2010, 08:41 AM
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Originally Posted by meditation View Post
That was one reason I fell into drugs so easily..... it numbed me emotionally to fear and anxiety.
That's the main reason I didn't take any narcotics yesterday, though I have a whole bottle of them. I realized my emotional stress was becoming greater than the physical pain, and thankfully I could hear all you RA's in my head. You all take up space in my head and I'm so glad

Originally Posted by CatsPajamas View Post
Isn't it cool how our HP can give us some unique insight into another person's situation or a different way?
My moment of clarity was like a thunderbolt from above! The 3 C's came to me so fast, and so did the other one about contributing. No one realized how detrimental they were to my well being.

The anti-inflammatory worked wonders and the pain is gone, though my arm is still locked up. I want to recover, I'm going for treatment today, and I know it's going to take time that I can't and won't share with others. It has to be that way or I won't heal.

Thank you SR!
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