wall

I cant help but be angry sometimes about how easy it is for those with money to escape punishment. I know that the legal system isnt there to cure people but it doesnt even punish the wealthy. My ex has money and he keeps getting arrested for public intoxication, driving without a license, and just pays the fees, takes classes and goes on his merry way. Not only does his money get him out of it, it gets him special classes. He told the judge that he could not take alcohol classes for 6 weeks and would gladly pay a fee for a special two day course and they let him do it. He has been arrested for crack before, but his father is an attorney and got him out of it, not only out of it but off his record. I am just irritated. At least the law could be the same for everyone. jail time-- nope, he went to jail for 20 days, but got to be on work release where he drank and went back in at night. just wanted to vent. I just got a call about how he went to court on friday for driving without a lisc. again and paid a fine. This is after he was busted for drunk driving and had it pulled. Now he paid his fine, is out and got a 2 day class session and will have his lisc. back by next friday. the system sucks.

suki44883

Yeah, it does suck, but it doesn't have to make your life miserable. You need to learn to detach from what he does. Are you attending al-anon meetings? You will find much face-to-face support there and you can learn to live your life for YOU and not let what he does affect your serenity.

barb dwyer

Apparently, being a codie also means we believe in justice.

Yet another fairy tale aspect of this fiction of life.

outtolunch

You can stop taking calls that relay information about your ex's latest escapade, any time you care to do so.

Kindeyes

The legal system is frustrating. There is NO doubt about it. Unfortunately, the money, Daddy the Lawyer, all of it....is simply contributing to the continuation of his "habit". And more than likely, the addiction won't stop until he feels the consequences of his action. I understand your frustration.

gentle hugs

Freedom1990

Yes, the legal system does suck.

That's just one of a number of reasons I have no desire to know what my 32 year old AD is doing.

I'd suggest not taking any more calls in regards to your ex, and make it clear you don't care to hear the latest escapades.

sojourner

Wall: I know the frustration you are feeling. The legal system is one of the few remaining "consequences" in this society that builds up for the addict, and to see that not work can be anxiety-provoking.

But like others above have said, taking a front-row seat to this aspect of his addiction is knocking you out of your serenity. If there is really no reason for you to know then remove yourself from the information chain. I know you can figure out how to do that.

A quote by Robert Louis Stevenson, "Sooner or later, we all sit down to a banquet of consequences." Leave the addict to his HP and whoever chooses to enable him.