You know when you are just tired...
 

....and want to sleep non stop without any interruptions and you can literally sleep all night and day and still be tired?

Well thats where I am at right now. I dont want to do anything, my head hurts and I constantly feel like falling over.


The BF has been getting mad and accusing me of cheating on him because I just dont feel "in the mood" if you know what I mean. I dont feel in the mood hardly ever, I have to force myself.

His thoughts are that Im "getting it somewhere else" because its human nature to be horny every once in a while. Well I havent, all I want to do is sleep and no I am not cheating on him. If I was to go that far I would have already left him for some odd reason I have stuck around with him this long and I dont know why so if I were to be cheating I would have just LEFT!!!!

It isnt like he is that worth sticking around for or even "sneaking around for.

I am just tired. I dont want to talk I dont want to be talked to I just want to sleep and go to work.

It really sounds like you are depressed, it's understandable and it's OK for you to take care of yourself.Living with an addict is crazy-making and you really can lose yourself trying to help them.

Can you take some time away?...just a day or two with a friend, just getting out into a healthy environment does wonders for the soul.

I would love to just get away. But my house relies on my income, if not for him. Its for myself and my daughter. I can harldly get days off because we are short staffed. My days off usually consisted of me waking up and him leaving because it was his "day off" from the baby. I never get any time alone or a day off.

My days off are wednesdays and thursdays and everyone that would babysitt works those days.

Im just in a rut, routine, cycle, circle. I hardly ever have any money so even if I were to get away I couldnt spend any money and I dont have a working phone so I have lost contact with any friends I used to have.

I am rambling.

I am sorry.

That isn't living. You deserve more.

I hope you will see a Dr, it sounds very much like depression. And it may be caused situationally.
You can find a mental health clinic that accepts sliding scale (or no) fees.
Probably a counselor too.

His accusations are verbal and emotional abuse, you know.
Abuse does some very nasty things to us.
And is just as progressive as the addiction.

There is hope...for you to have a peaceful life, where you can rest, sleep and wake refreshed.
It's hard to imagine when you are neck deep in crapola....
and all that bs usually takes a far greater toll than we realize.

(((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))