duet_4-8

Has anyone ever heard of someone smoking oxycontin? Or heroin? Or some other opiate? Is opium something people do now?

I am fighting my own demons trying not to obsess over my son, trying not to fall back into codependency hell but I couldn't stop myself from digging into his business this morning; I just don't know what I'm dealing with here. He has never been in treatment, never admitted a problem.

I don't really have solid proof of anything. Just mother's intuition and the typical signs and symptoms of use~behavioral changes, different friends, unexplained sleep/wake patterns, financial problems. The most glaring thing is that he nods off in the middle of stuff.

There was a video on his computer that he had made of himself smoking something in a pipe. It was not crack or meth. He acted (on the video) like he had just shot up herion or something. Granted that it was date-stamped about 18 months ago, but still..

It made me physically ill. My heart must have been beating 200X/min. I thought I would pass out. I cannot stand to go through this again. I want with everything in me not to believe he is doing this to himself after what he watched his father do.

Part of me wants to beat the $hit out of him, part of me wants to grab hold of him and never let go. This is worse than being married to an addict. Millions of times worse.

damnedone

Yes oxycontin can be smoked, my addicted loved one does it (or at least used to do it every now and then)... nodding off in the middle of things is a sign for using opiates, so sadly you might be right.. I'm really sorry you're going through this, but there is not much you can do about your son

((((HUGS)))) best wishes and praying that things get better

Chino

I know that feeling and it did a number on me. It got so bad I was starting to feel stabbing pains in my head. That was from me beating the figurative crap out of myself, instead of my daughter like I wanted. So I had to grab hold of myself for my own well being.

You know you're powerless and you know you're not helpless. What can you do to help yourself?

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son.

Kindeyes

duet
I'm so sorry.....I know that feeling you're talking about and it's awful. It's strange what we do to ourselves sometimes.......in a way we really DON'T want to know what they're up to but on the other hand we DO want to know. And when we find out a "truth", it shakes us to our very bones.

I have a hard time realizing that my beautiful AS is putting a needle in his arm. I've never seen him do it but the mental image is awful. I wish he never told me that he was shooting up H.

Is ignorance bliss? Sometimes, yes......I think it is.

gentle hugs to you from another Mom who understands

Onewithwings

(((hugs)))

Yes, you can smoke oxys, either in a pipe or off tin foil, that is how I have seen it done.

Hopefully since the video is older he isn't doing it anymore, but I wouldn't put money on it.

God, I am just awestruck by this forum. I feel for all the parents coping with a child's addiction. It is probably harder than having your own addiction, since you are powerless to do anything about it. Kudos to you all for wanting the best for your families and coming on here to learn and share! I have a 2 year old son, and I hope to God he never goes down the path I went down.

duet_4-8

I think that is one of the hardest things to deal with. When you HAVE been down this path, and you know where it ends, watching your child walk down it is...I don't know. Words fail me...

Thanks for sharing it with me.

outtolunch

You can chew, smoke, snort, shoot and pack it ( where the sun don't shine).

Is your son a minor?

duet_4-8

No; he's 23.

gotahavfaith

Duet

Just sending you big hugs, and good thoughts. I too am so sorry that you are dealing with this. It is heartbreaking to watch the things our children do to themselves. Please take care of YOU.

Gotahavfaith

tormentedmirror

I know exactly what you're feeling. My daughter is 24, and I got that same feeling when I got an email, then went home and tossed her room and found syringes, spoons, some kind of powder ( I freaked and flushed it). I can only guess what drugs she has used. Oxy's, Heroine, Cocaine...I think all of them.

I hope you're wrong, but if I found an old video like that, coupled with his behavior, I'd be suspicious, too.

((((((((((duet))))))))))))

Ann

I accidentally heard my son buying his drugs (through his cell phone which didn't ring but somehow answered my call).

I just froze, I knew he was using, I knew he bought from dealers, but to HEAR it with my own ears left me frozen in fear like I have never felt before or since.

My heart goes out to you. And my prayers go out for your son.

I'm so very sorry you are going through this.

Hugs

duet_4-8

Which actually begs the question, why does someone FILM themselves being an idiot???

litehorse

duet - just wanted to add my prayers to the others for you and your son - my AS is in jail at this time and will be for a while - but i certainly know the agony of wondering where and what he is doing - i hope you will find a path to peace for yourself and remember when he gets enough and is ready that you becoming a whole, healthy person will be a wonderful example for him -

LstInHISadictin

yes, people do smoke the pills, or crush then up and snort them, or he could also be smoking black tar heroin... that was my ex's DOC.

Hurtbad2505

God..it kills me to read this. I know what you are feeling...wish I didn't, but I do ;(

I don't know that I could have stayed out of it at the beginning of my 'awakening' to my son's drug use. Not even if I did know what I do now. I think we have to at least try...it comes after trying and failing that we fully accept we can't control it. But I do know as a parent we have to try... we just do.

I remember when I would hear of my son's peers and the horrible stories of how drugs had taken them over. Sometimes to death. I would say to him "Thank GOD you never got into that stuff (Heroin). He would look me in the eye without a blink. I just never knew what was going on right under my nose...and they are good at hiding it, for a while.

Geeze, I don't know what else to say except you and your son will be in my prayers...Just wanted you to know you aren't alone...