OkAy tHeN: "OUR" Famous Last Words ...
 

Someone suggested on another thread
that we should create a thread
where we say all OUR conventional stuff as well.

There really ARE some codependent 'mantras'
that we've all said at one time or another.
I understand the concept - if we're gonna poke fun,
we have to include our own crazy excuses as well.

Just one teensy reminder - this is in the spirit of laughter!

Ok, since I've married FOUR of them ... I'll start -


If you could see what I see, you'd love him too..."

As told by my FIL "no sir, I don't know who was driving that car."

My daughter is different .....

My husband's older brother is also an addict...but his doc was crack. I always thought (foolish denial, of course) my husband wasn't a "real" addict because his doc was opiates, amph's, benzos... It was legal prescriptions...never mind the mind-blowing quantities... So I'd always tell my family as things went from bad to worse...he's not an addict like his brother...he is different...:ugh1:

Maybe she's not an addict....

It's okay, I don't need a birthday present every year.

here's another classic -

"I just had a baby. If you don't get me at least some flowers, people are gonna talk. Here's some money."

I really think you are going to make it this time!

I love my Christmas present (which was something he wanted for himself) being wrapped in aluminum foil...really, I do...:c031::c031:

What did I do?What didn't I do? How can she do this to ME?

If you would just listen to me and do what I tell you to do...we can cure this!

Said with tears of indignation and a tone of terminal uniqueness.."But I've been SUCH a good mother"

I resemble that remark.

All he needs is a good home where he will be safe with people who love him.

And...

Early in the game when he went to his first rehab and his counselor tried to explain the possibility of relapse...

"You don't know my son, he's done, he won't be relapsing any time soon."

" This one actually wasn't his fault"

" It was just a few bucks" (times twenty)

" You can't blame EVERYTHING on him"

" I don't think he's your typical addict"

" He promised he would..."

To his Dad (my ex): "Just stay out of it and let me handle it"

"Oh it's not really all that bad"
"He didn't mean to do it"

"Why is it so hot in here and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

She must have a mental ilness..she SAYS she's not using!

"It's not a big deal....he only stole some rolled coin."

To my husband when our son called from jail "He's really upset....we need to bail him out."

To the lady at the jail bail window "Do you take VISA?"

To the guy at the jail as I'm trying to see my son "I'm his Mother." His reply "Sorry Ma'am you can't see him." My response "Ok......what if I said......I'm his lawyer." The man smiles and says "You already told me you're his mother."

This is good therapy too!

He's in legitimate pain. He has back issues and migraines.

It's his first doctors fault when he was 18. He's the one that rx'd the 9 inch tall bottle of darvocet WITH REFILLS.

It's MIL"s fault (It flipping is and I'll stand behind this da@n one) She got herself a bottle of the same height (9 inches) of vicodin for HER pain, which she lovingly turned over to her ds for his poor migraines.

He's not @ work because he has a migraine.

Shutting the garage doors and making sure xah doesn't answer the phone so that nobody know's he's missed work yet again.

Mowing the lawn when he could do it but couldn't because he was out hiding inside due to another day of missed work.

Making sure his car was in the garage so neighbors/parents wouldn't know he wasn't @ work.

Making excuses as to why he couldn't take a 4 day vacation during Christmas because he was sick (dopesick - I really didn't grasp his addiction during this time).

Telling MIL when he was so sick during previously said vacation, DO NOT allow him to drive, check him @ all times, call me ASAP if anthing changes.

I can't even remember what all I've done. Some it has been done after the fact that I knew I had an addict, most of it done before I knew I was dealing with an addict.

Looking back, I was dumb, dumb, dumb. I had NO CLUE. I thought it was a character flaw, not freaking addiction.

Maybe its a phase...

:lmao