How long will friends tolerate abusing behavior?
 

What puzzles me is how the abuser's friends have hung in with problem relative-especially on the financial end. I'm not talking so much about enabling but simply tolerating abusing behavior. The abuser's peers all seemed to have made it long past their younger party days with things like legitimate well paying jobs, degrees, working 2-3 jobs, families etc. You would think since they've taken the time to do things like get a college degree they would be looking down on him or say things like complete your degree. His peers fully commited themselves to improving and changing themselves. The problem one has not.

Shouldn't peer pressure be kicking in at this point. It's been decades since their yonger party days and problems. Everyone of his friends he talks about around us have had enough sense to do things like go college or work multiple jobs. You would figure over a year of unemployment and driving a luxary car and participating in many expensive activities with his friends at least one of them would get suspicious or on his case. Where is the peer pressure because I can't see any.

Could the abuser be trying to fool and game his friends the same way he has tried to game & fool family?

Simply put...Yes.

It took me almost a full year to read/comprehend the definition of this particular forum which includes:

" Discuss coping tools and learn basic recovery techniques for you, not the addict, through 12 steps."

One of the greatest life lessons I learned here, from other posters, is that the longer I fixated on those things I do not control (the choices being made by other people in my life), the less I focused on working on my own issues.