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Famous Last Words (from my addict) v2.0

Old 09-02-2010, 06:53 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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"I need to go get air in my tires...I'll be right back"......

Seven hours (and NO AIR in tires) later.......

:rotfxko
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Old 09-02-2010, 07:18 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Great thread!
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Old 09-02-2010, 07:21 PM
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"I was talking low on my cell phone because I was talking to my sponsor about the meeting last night".

Well he must not have been able to hear you because he just called on the land line and wondered why you weren't at any meetings this week.
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Old 09-02-2010, 07:25 PM
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Ann
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"I need $20 because....

I owe a guy from my meeting

I need a prescription

I need to buy a new Big Book

I need to buy tools so I can go to work

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Old 09-02-2010, 07:32 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Didn't I tell you this was great therapy?!?

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Old 09-02-2010, 07:53 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Drugs are not my problem, it is your attitude towards drugs that is the problem!

That's not pot you found in the garage, it's oregano, I use it when I grill! Ok, sounds plausable, only thing is, We Don't Have A Grill!
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Old 09-02-2010, 08:45 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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My BIL has said that "I only use drugs because you guys hurt me so much by keeping me out of your life" and "Those aren't my glassine bags and needles you found in the driveway, I was discarding them for a friend" and of course "I didn't steal your........jewelry, money, gun" just fill in the blank there!
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Old 09-02-2010, 08:55 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I keep those pills in a faucet handle Very creative Suspicious. Never would have thought to look in a faucet handle. Hmm. Maybe I'd better check mine!

The biggest one for me is 'I'll be back'. 'Gonna run to town for a pop.' Seriously who in their right minds spends $5 in gas to go to town for a pop. Most normal people think ahead for that one. Hey wait a minute...Am I associating Mt Dew as a pop when he really meant drugs as his pop? ... my bad.
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:28 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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"the cops must get a list of the people who have no license so that they can stake them out and find them just to bust their balls if they drive."
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:45 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Oh I like this thread.....

"You make me want to use."

"If you don't ______________ (fill in the blank), I'll ____________ (again fill in the blank).

"I'm not an alcoholic, I just like to party......my friends agree with me."

"I'm just experimenting because I love science." (really....he said that)

"Thank goodness for booze control (cruise control) or I wouldn't have been able to get home last night!"

Man.....I could go on and on and on and on. Thanks for starting this thread. It is good therapy.

gentle hugs
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:50 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Laughter is some really, really good medicine!!
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Old 09-02-2010, 09:52 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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"Grass is of the earth.....it's an herb.....it's all natural. Why do you think they call it GRASS"

"I can stop anytime I want to.....I just don't want to."

"You're nuts."

"Why do you have to be so emotional." (while I'm being calm and he's wigging out)

"I'll be there at 5:00." (doesn't show up until 7:00)

"I want to spend time with my son." (Then falls asleep the whole time and spends zero time with son.)
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Old 09-02-2010, 10:00 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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This one isn't exactly 'words'~but you know how, when they do something really, really inconsiderate or mean or just plain stupid and you point it out and they deny that it happened. Even if it was 5 minutes ago?

Or they stay out until daylight, sleep until noon, and then come lovin' up on you? And get insulted when you aren't interested?

Which, of course, is the excuse of the day to go get wasted...
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Old 09-02-2010, 10:02 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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"I lie because you insist on me telling you the truth."

"You make me be mean to you " - that one? My MOTHER always said that to me!

"I told you they would say I didn't pay them.
(the POWER COMPANY)
And of course you believe THEM... and not ME...."
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Old 09-02-2010, 10:09 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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"I lie because you insist on me telling you the truth."
Barb, how could you insist on the truth? OMG the tears of laughter are rolling down my face!

"the cops must get a list of the people who have no license so that they can stake them out and find them just to bust their balls if they drive
oh yeah, and it was my fault that the state took his license in the first place for non-payment of child support. yup. and then they staked out the back roads just to get him. it's all about him.
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Old 09-02-2010, 10:15 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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"They (cops) just do random checks and if you havce any priors they single you out form then on"

SINGLE YOU OUT?!?!?!?

You were 40mph driving in Cody, Wyoming with TWO WHEELS ON THE SIDEWALK !!!

You don't have to be 'Kojak' to know something is amiss ya ijjit!
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Old 09-03-2010, 04:24 AM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Callie View Post
I keep those pills in a faucet handle Very creative Suspicious. Never would have thought to look in a faucet handle. Hmm. Maybe I'd better check mine!

The biggest one for me is 'I'll be back'. 'Gonna run to town for a pop.' Seriously who in their right minds spends $5 in gas to go to town for a pop. Most normal people think ahead for that one. Hey wait a minute...Am I associating Mt Dew as a pop when he really meant drugs as his pop? ... my bad.
Speaking of hiding places, don't forget to unscrew the lens on your binoculars. Could be something hiding in there. Why did he need binoculars in his car when he isn't a hiker or bird watcher???

Kari
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Old 09-03-2010, 06:08 AM
  # 38 (permalink)  
Ann
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"It wasn't me!"

"It's not mine"

"I wasn't there"

"I don't know how it got there"

"I know this looks bad, but..."

"You'll never believe this..." (He's right!)

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Old 09-03-2010, 06:56 AM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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"I just have to run to blockbuster to rent/return (Fill in move name of movie here."

2 days, 2 hours, 2 weeks whatever later:

"I haven't seen (Name of same movie.) Maybe I/We should rent it tonight."
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Old 09-03-2010, 06:58 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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great thread..thanks to you all.
here are mine:

"I am a chronic pain sufferer, I need the pills, I know you had cancer 2 times but my pain is real"

"your so mean,nobody will ever want you, I am now living with a loving couple, they understand my pain and take good care of me,they have saved my life"

"I dont like morphine or the fenantyl patch they make me tired"

"I never never took 1 pill more than prescribed"

"give me credit, its not like Im on the streets smoking crack"

"I had to sell my car because you told the cops Im driving dui thats your fault"
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