katie44

Unbelievable the justice system never ceases to amaze me. AS went to jail on a breach nearly a month ago. Part of his bail condition is no alcohol or drugs. He got caught drinking downtown and went to jail. We would not bail him out. Well he and his lawyer went to court this week and the lawyer got it down to time served on the breach He's out, meanwhile the crown was asking 18 months for his fraud charges. He set a trial date much later on in the year for his current charges. We are shocked. I was actually content he was there. Sometime to clean up. He's already started with the phone calls
I need, I need. I can not believe that in one month he is ready to change his life, of course he has told us everything we want to hear.
I have to much on my plate right now with the fire etc. I truly can not deal with him at this point. Of course he says " mom Im staying clean and trying to put my life together, cant you please help me"? total guilt. The guilt is working, I keep thinking maybe I should give him a ride for a job etc.
I feel like a horrible mother, but Im at my breaking point. Daily I have been dealing with the insurance, chaos at the workplace. My spouse and I are barely hangin on, just dont have the energy. I dont trust him, and he brings nothing but anger, lies, chaos, thieving and crap around. 30 days in jail I dont believe has made any difference. Had a coffee with him last nite, and I smelt alcohol, he then proceeded to do nothing but whine about his life.

keepinon

So sorry.. you certainly don't need this now. Wow. our system here is just as bad if not worse..drag it out and do nothing courts. If AS really wants to get clean, his sponsor can be there to support him. Your love is great, but can't help him recover. He needs to find people who can help him, who are in the recovery field.Maybe you should turn it around on him and start harrasing him for help all the time, whine about the fire, etc. My guess is he'll run outta there.. it just doesn't work both ways!:ghug3

suki44883

You have enough on your plate. Let your son deal with his own issues. If you don't trust him, it's because he has given you many reasons not to trust him. You have your own problems to deal with and he needs to deal with his own. Please don't let him guilt-trip you. You have nothing to feel guilty about. ((((HUGS))))

Ann

(((Katie)))

Keeping your boy in my prayers. I hope he reaches out to those who can really help him. "We" are not the solution, but he knows where help is when he's ready.

Hugs

gotahavfaith

Katie

Sending prayers to you, your husband and your son. Please take care of you. Is your son doing any kind of recovery work?

Please don't feel guilty, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Gotahavfaith

katie44

Still don't know the cause of the fire. It will be two weeks on Monday. My insurance company has told us the Fire Marshalls office is backlogged, another 1-2 weeks. In the meantime we are purchasing stock from a competetitor and reselling. ( no profit ) Laid off all my staff except for 2 of them. It will be months to rebuild and get equipment in by then we will be in bankruptcy. Like most businesses these days we just dont have the cashflow to continue on for months with no profit. I am trying to be patient however 20 years in business, have never had a claim - they should have put that in our policy may have to wait a month unbelievable!

AS is not in any type of recovery right now. He is doing court ordered volunteer work right now. If I were to whine to him about the fire and bother him for things he would be mortified I'm sure he would run. Right about now I would like to buy him a t-shirt with big letters inscribed on it "ME". I love my son dearly however heneeds to work his own program.

hello-kitty

That's very funny! I've been school shopping for my son and I think I saw one of those at Target. It said "It IS all about me. What's your problem?"

No wonder kids are so screwed up these days if that's the message we buy them.