a warning sign?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 25
a warning sign?
Another post on here made me think of this.
The job that my SO has now he didn't tell them that he has been in recovery or in the drug court program or even brag (as he usually does) about his position in the alumni. He didn't even tell them he had a felony. (It was a non violent crime many years back but it is still usually one of the First questions he asks when applying for a job.
Anyway his mom and I have been in contact since he went to jail. I told her I was worried he took the work phone with him the day he had court/went to jail and wasn't sure what his job would do about not getting it back. Well she called them and them and found out that he indeed still has the phone. Then she says to me "You know Trisha, his work didn't even know anything about his past. That he had a Felony or that he has been in recovery. He's always been so forthright with his information when applying for jobs, I couldn't believe his boss didn't know. ... Well they do now."
Now, I knew that he hadn't told them any of this stuff AND that he normally did but it didn't strike me as particularly odd till she mentioned it. While I found it odd, I didn't connect the dots till I was reading posts on here:
In my post it was mentioned that relapse happens in the mind way before it happens IRL.
Then something in another post here (cant remember which at the moment) made me think about that again.
Suddenly a light bulb went off in my head. Maybe, for me (and very possibly for others) that should have been one of the first signs that he mind was veering down the wrong path.
The job that my SO has now he didn't tell them that he has been in recovery or in the drug court program or even brag (as he usually does) about his position in the alumni. He didn't even tell them he had a felony. (It was a non violent crime many years back but it is still usually one of the First questions he asks when applying for a job.
Anyway his mom and I have been in contact since he went to jail. I told her I was worried he took the work phone with him the day he had court/went to jail and wasn't sure what his job would do about not getting it back. Well she called them and them and found out that he indeed still has the phone. Then she says to me "You know Trisha, his work didn't even know anything about his past. That he had a Felony or that he has been in recovery. He's always been so forthright with his information when applying for jobs, I couldn't believe his boss didn't know. ... Well they do now."
Now, I knew that he hadn't told them any of this stuff AND that he normally did but it didn't strike me as particularly odd till she mentioned it. While I found it odd, I didn't connect the dots till I was reading posts on here:
In my post it was mentioned that relapse happens in the mind way before it happens IRL.
Then something in another post here (cant remember which at the moment) made me think about that again.
Suddenly a light bulb went off in my head. Maybe, for me (and very possibly for others) that should have been one of the first signs that he mind was veering down the wrong path.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I'm going to put a dent in your theory, dear. Just don't sling mud at me, okay? 
Personally, my life is an open book. I have not had a single bad reaction from any employers over the years knowing that I am in recovery.
However, I know many solid people in recovery who don't find it necessary or beneficial in any way to let their employer know they are in recovery. That is their right.
There are a lot of people still who attach a stigma to addicts and alcoholics, even the ones in recovery, and some of those people are employers. I've been blessed not to work for any of those.
Now let's get back to the subject of you.
Have you done anything nice for yourself today, maybe a bubble bath by candle light, reading a favorite book?
You stated in your other thread that you've found a Naranon meeting which is great!
What can you do till then to get the focus back on you and do some self-care?
Personally, my life is an open book. I have not had a single bad reaction from any employers over the years knowing that I am in recovery.
However, I know many solid people in recovery who don't find it necessary or beneficial in any way to let their employer know they are in recovery. That is their right.
There are a lot of people still who attach a stigma to addicts and alcoholics, even the ones in recovery, and some of those people are employers. I've been blessed not to work for any of those.
Now let's get back to the subject of you.
Have you done anything nice for yourself today, maybe a bubble bath by candle light, reading a favorite book?
You stated in your other thread that you've found a Naranon meeting which is great!
What can you do till then to get the focus back on you and do some self-care?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 25
oh no mud slinging here lol. I just thought that maybe since it was an really out of character thing for him that it meant something. I'm open to the possibility that I could be wrong. :P
honestly? Nothing... Worked, tended to my kids, paid bills and spent time reading over material suggested to me in the other post. Now it's bed time...
honestly? Nothing... Worked, tended to my kids, paid bills and spent time reading over material suggested to me in the other post. Now it's bed time...
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
For most employers if they have two candidates with similar experience and education, but one had a felony and is an addict or alcoholic in recovery and the other appeared to be “normal”, most employers would steer clear of the felonious addict. So, with all the stigma attached to addiction, I too don’t see that not revealing this would be a sign of anything from your guy.
^^^ This!
^^^ This!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
