Scott1970

Hey all,
I am a recovering alcoholic working my program which is known in my office by my co-workers. About a month a two ago one of my friends, knowing my background, came to me about her pain killer problem. I pulled the NA meeting Schedules, Suggested some Doctors that specialize, gave her a few numbers of some people I know that work both NA and AA and offered to take her to a couple of meetings (either NA or AA). I know the decision is hers so I did not push the issue. Recently she talked to her MD who refered her to another Dr. When she went to him he said he could not help her (is this true I do not know). He then refered her to another who can not see her until next week. Today she came up to me in tears saying that she could not go on like this anymore. I told her the importance of reaching out and getting involved in a group. I again suggested calling a Dr I went to and again gave her the numbers of some of the double winners in some of my groups. We talked about the treatment center options and I went to and explain their program. I emphasized I can not make her do anything saying "I could buy your ticket for the train but I can not make you get on-its your choice." Once again offered to take her to meetings...:

I guess I am on here to know if there is anything else or any other suggestions on something I can do?? I care about her and would do anything to help...Thanks!

suki44883

It sounds to me like you have done all that you can or should do. She has the information and it's up to her whether or not to use it. If it were me, I think I'd just step back and if she comes back, just refer her to the information you have already given her.

ladyamalthea

You have let her know you care and you have pointed her in the right direction. That's all you can do. She has to do the rest herself if she is going to be an active part of her recovery.

coyote21

Congrats on your recovery. I had girl friends like this all my life. I guess we sought each other out.

Sounds like you are pretty caught up in her problems. Maybe you are a double winner like me, Alanon helps me keep my emotional sobriety/sanity.

It's good you know you can't save her.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

Freedom1990

You gave her the information on the resources out there.

Let go of the results.

hopeful4

What a great friend you are. She is a lucky lady to have a friend like you in her life. That being said, dont try to take over the situation. It is funny that when someone truly wants help doors start opening. I think the addict keeps them closed until they are truly ready. There is help out there, you just have to seek it. When my husband went to treatment I believe he talked to 30 different places before he found just the right one. Point being, he did not give up until he had truly found a place that said "Come Right Now" and it all worked out.

You are a special person. Congrats on your own journey and God Bless!:ghug3

Kindeyes

Good job on your recovery! And good job for offering information and assistance to a friend. A very wonderful person I know told me that the best way to have hope without expectation is to remove the element of "time" from it. In other words, you have offered your help. Hopefully, she will accept your help, but she will do it in her own time.

Angelic17

Hey Scott1970, you did the right thing. You gave her information that would lead to her recovery. It seem to me that the doctor who told her that he can't help her, probably had to tell her that, because she probably asked for some pain meds.

NA and addiction doctors were the best 2 things you could offer to her, and you did just that. She might want to be clean, she just probably isn't ready to do the work that it takes to get clean. There's no easy way off pain pills, and she needs to gear up and do the work.

You ask if there's anything else you can do, and the answer is probably not. It's up to her now, but maybe you can speak to her with love and compassion, and explain that it's just going to go on and on, until she puts an end to the madness. The only way for her to get well is not to use the drugs. And unfortunately it's tough getting off of that stuff. Your a great friend, and she will thank you one day hopefully.

coffeedrinker

sometimes our offers and advice are simply planting seeds. it takes awhile for the seeds to germinate and sprout into the beautiful plants, the new life they may one day be.

let go of the outcome.

Scott1970

I want to thank you for all your posts! I did think that what I have done is all I can do. Maybe one of my old "defects" was coming out that I might have missed something and needed a little reassurance that I did not.

I was talking to my sponsor the other night and it really gave me a bit of peace of mind also. I was giving him the same advice about one of his sponsees (my sibling in the program). She is in for 30 days out for two weeks then back in. She is on the out streak now. When she is ready, she is ready..just got to make sure her toolbox has all the tools in it she needs and support and pray for her.

I know my friend will come around in time and she will need to do it for herself, not her kids, her mom, or her boyfriend.

Thanks Again All....Scott

Scott1970

Thanks again all and just an update..she came home last friday to find her sister OD'ed on the floor..and realized it could be her. She went to the Doctor and is now on day 4. Just keeping my fingers crossed and being there...