Why do we get all worked up?

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07-18-2010, 10:18 AM

# 21 (permalink)

URMYEVERYTHING

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Join Date: Dec 2008

Location: Philadelphia, PA

Posts: 611

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teenie

I know that when i get a call or anything, my hopes are that he's calling to tell me that he's ok and getting help for good this time and i get nervous and excited all @ the same time.

For me it's hearing how much of a better man he can be and will soon be one day. The man I met. He's been clean for one year now, however, keeps sliding back in his behavior. He checked back into his old sober living place to get a hold on his life because a few weeks ago he was on the verge of another relapse. I distanced myself immediately. But it's the process of recovery that has worn our relationship down.

I dread his calls because they are projecting calls. Him seeing into the future when the present has no hope. No job, no real life responsibility,etc. The projection of the future he talks about doesn't match the present at all. I dread having these conversations with him and for the life of it, I can't make him see what he's doing (self destructing) by projecting where we and he will be in a few months. Heck, I'm healthier in a sense because I'm not battling with addiction but I can't even see it. So, I just go no contact. I can't have these conversations about the future. Too overwhelming.