He died...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: nokomis, florida
Posts: 1
I registered today because my AS was involuntarily admitted into rehab today and it broke my heart to see him go, escorted by 3 officers but I believe with all my heart I was saving his life by doing this. Reading all your posts makes me sure I was. I am so sorry for your loss...alot of us are out here fearing that outcome. All you can do is know your did the best you could, some things are just out of our control....he was loved and that never dies.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 561
I am so sorry to read about the loss of your boyfriend. I lost my sister last month to addiction. What you said about it coming in waves really resonated for me. There are days since my sister died that I am very much at peace with it, feeling that she is no longer suffering, that it was all inevitable.
And there are days I really struggle. Really feel totally broken apart and torture myself with questions, wondering if there was something else I could have done, if there was some way things could have been different.
I think these waves will come and go for a long time. Maybe with more time between them each time, I hope.
I have the same thought about my sister's death, wondering whether there was any intention in her actions, or whether she just overdosed without meaning to. I still don't really know, and there is no way to know for sure. I tell myself that the outcome is the same no matter what and try to deal only with that.
There is no place for blame in these situations. It's hard enough without that.
I am sending you good wishes and warm thoughts of healing. Take care of yourself and go easy on yourself.
Lisa
And there are days I really struggle. Really feel totally broken apart and torture myself with questions, wondering if there was something else I could have done, if there was some way things could have been different.
I think these waves will come and go for a long time. Maybe with more time between them each time, I hope.
I have the same thought about my sister's death, wondering whether there was any intention in her actions, or whether she just overdosed without meaning to. I still don't really know, and there is no way to know for sure. I tell myself that the outcome is the same no matter what and try to deal only with that.
There is no place for blame in these situations. It's hard enough without that.
I am sending you good wishes and warm thoughts of healing. Take care of yourself and go easy on yourself.
Lisa
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Chaos, USA
Posts: 52
I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my AH 3 mos. ago. It hit me in waves, too. Eventually the waves will subside. They will still be there but not as big and not as often. If you want to "talk", you can PM me. I wish there were a forum here for those of us who lost someone forever to addicition. It is a different kind of pain from other deaths and it isn't something we can talk openly about with others. And, unfortunately, there are a lot of us. Take care of yourself.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
((((((((((Littlebird)))))))))
Reach out and keep talking to others all you need to about your loved one who lost the battle with his addiction. Be sure to drink lots of water and eat even when you don't feel like it to stay strong. This is his destiny. Why, because it is. As much as we want to argue with reality, it does us no good. His love was a gift while you had it. Take any time you need to get through this early phase of complete sadness. Ask others 2 help you with the basics of life for awhile.
I lost my son to heroin last month. It is the hardest thing I have ever done.
They died having had our love and we had theirs.
Reach out and keep talking to others all you need to about your loved one who lost the battle with his addiction. Be sure to drink lots of water and eat even when you don't feel like it to stay strong. This is his destiny. Why, because it is. As much as we want to argue with reality, it does us no good. His love was a gift while you had it. Take any time you need to get through this early phase of complete sadness. Ask others 2 help you with the basics of life for awhile.
I lost my son to heroin last month. It is the hardest thing I have ever done.
They died having had our love and we had theirs.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by littlebird77 
What do you do when you feel like your right on the edge of loosing it?
((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: My Room
Posts: 138
Littlebird, I am so sorry for your loss. It is absolutely unfair that you have to go through this.
I lost my close friend to a heroin overdose a few years ago and it was a very surreal experience. As soon as I heard he had died, I realized I was not at all surprised. . . my first thought was, "Already? I didn't think it would be so soon." Then for the next few days I felt strangely at peace, helping organize his apartment and collect his things to send to his family. Then. . .ANGER. RAGE. At him, at anyone who ever knew him who didn't "help" him. . .
I still miss my friend and think of him often. He had so much love in his life and so much light. He made so many people laugh. But he threw it all away.
It still makes me mad. But I am living and breathing and I am grateful for that. No matter how much pain this life causes me, I am not going throw in the towel! Because all of us here know there is a way to rise above . . just remember that if you are able in the coming months of sadness, anger, and confusion. YOU are making an effort- YOU are not giving up! YOU are still here and we are so glad that you are. Your life is bigger than this and while it may define you for a while, you are gonna go on.
I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I know this time is unbearable and outrageous for you. We are here for you.
I lost my close friend to a heroin overdose a few years ago and it was a very surreal experience. As soon as I heard he had died, I realized I was not at all surprised. . . my first thought was, "Already? I didn't think it would be so soon." Then for the next few days I felt strangely at peace, helping organize his apartment and collect his things to send to his family. Then. . .ANGER. RAGE. At him, at anyone who ever knew him who didn't "help" him. . .
I still miss my friend and think of him often. He had so much love in his life and so much light. He made so many people laugh. But he threw it all away.
It still makes me mad. But I am living and breathing and I am grateful for that. No matter how much pain this life causes me, I am not going throw in the towel! Because all of us here know there is a way to rise above . . just remember that if you are able in the coming months of sadness, anger, and confusion. YOU are making an effort- YOU are not giving up! YOU are still here and we are so glad that you are. Your life is bigger than this and while it may define you for a while, you are gonna go on.
I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I know this time is unbearable and outrageous for you. We are here for you.
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