update from jeepgirl - I want to avoid a codie relapse

Old 07-05-2010, 06:51 PM
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update from jeepgirl - I want to avoid a codie relapse

Hi old friends.
Feeling some twangs tonight. This month is my 5 year anniversary of attending naranon once a week. My AD has been clean for over 2 years. We are both very strongly working on our respective programs.

Slight glitch in my rosie picture... Her company closed, and she has been out of work for around a month. She has been living on her small severance package. Today she told me she has 5 dollars left in her bank account, and had to borrow cigarette money. Oy... I am afraid of ME relapsing, not her. She doesn't seem to be at all concerned or pounding the pavement. I payed her some money to paint a room in the house... its only halfway done - so I payed her half. This is beginning to feel familiar.

As much as I want to help her out, I have fears of stopping her growth if I do so. At my meetings, we concentrate on our own personal growth... but I would love to hit this sounding board to hear what I already know I must do.
Thanks all, jeepgirl
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Old 07-05-2010, 07:19 PM
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Good for you for recognizing what very well could be signs of regression on her part. You are right that you need to stay strong in your own recovery. Once she realizes that you aren't going to support her, maybe she'll work harder on finding another job. Hang in there and stay strong!
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:05 PM
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I support you in keeping to the boundaries that are in place, jeepgirl.

Ya know that "gut" thing? Remember how it felt when you did something against what your gut was telling you to do?

She is gonna have some tough times, tough days, and some of those days it may remind you of back then. That doesn't mean it's so, though, we all just have crappy days from time to time. She'll know how to turn it around, and either will, or will not.

Peace, sister
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Old 07-05-2010, 08:14 PM
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yes... I think it is that gut thing talking to me indeed.
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Old 07-05-2010, 09:17 PM
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Well you even said you know what todo and it really sounds like it. Good for you for 5YEARS in naranon! Stay in the now..right now you are ok, no one knows what will happen tomorow so don't give in to the fear.:ghug3
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