steve1840

i am trying to detach, but did or wouldn't you all do the same if someone you loved was prostituting herself for an addiction beyond her control? i suppose you have been down this road and tried all you could. anyone have experience with a female who has done this. your stories would help.

i am going to go back to nar anan meetings

suki44883

Naranon is a good place for you to go. There you will learn that you cannot control another person, only yourself. Your friend knows that you want to help her, but until she is ready, you are wasting your breath. Naranon will help you understand that.

Freedom1990

I think you should keep doing what you're doing until the pain becomes so great that you're willing to do something different, Steve. That's my honest two cents.

Nerdgirl

Steve, the addiction IS in her control, she owns the consequences of her choices. You cannot do anything to help her in her recovery, it's on HER. Work on YOUR own recovery, going to nar anon will help you.

URMYEVERYTHING

Yes Steve... we all have done what you are doing now but it came with some costly lessons (getting things stolen, experiencing mood swings/changes, some of us dealing with depression, stress,, loss of jobs, DYFS involvement, etc., etc. ) That is why others on here say to detach while you can before you completely lose everything about yourself (your self worth/dignity, safety, belongings, putting yourself at risk for getting arrested trying to find her or even worse killed). She is making this choice not you. This is her issue, not yours. She will respect herself more in the end when and if she finds recovery on her own. It will mean a whole lot more to her.

oshkoshberjosh

Take a look at this thread:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html

Does any of this apply to you?

Step one of the 12 steps of recovery for codependents is:

1 We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Hope this helps!

keepinon

No Steve,I wouldn't do the same and I am pretty sure my 18 year old has prostituted herself for her addiction. There is no "saving " anyone. They have to to it THEMSELVES.IN the wise words of Alanon..let go or be dragged.

detaching200

You can't do anything. Nothing you have done so far has stopped her, and nothing will. She IS in control and she does have the power to stop. You don't have the power to help her or stop her. Only she can do that. One of you will hit bottom eventually.
Sorry to sound harsh. I have to be harsh with myself sometimes, too