jajajean

I just need to know if I am coming to the right conclusion - Is this drug use? Here's what happened:

My loved one's friend, who is known to have used drugs/alcohol in the past came to our house who we haven't seen in a long time. He looked quite awful to me, very pale and just worn down. He and my loved one went outside for a short while. When my loved one came in he headed to the bathroom (no big deal at the time) and the friend came in to the living room and started really chatting it up with me (talking about how he had to move into his parents house because his business is really struggling) and began fidgeting, trying to control his hands from shaking, standing and sitting frequently enough where it was obvious to me that he was on something.

My loved one came out of the bathroom after a long while and the two left quickly, my loved one did not look me in the eye just quickly left with the friend saying they would be back in a little while. That's when I got suspicious...

When they returned 20-30 minutes later, I left the house and began walking because I just couldn't deal with what I thought happened. After 15 minutes or so, my loved one called me and he started acting really defensive. At first asking if there was something wrong - if he had done something wrong? Which was unusual. When I said his friend looked bad, he denied it saying that he didn't notice anything and becoming argumentative with me about it. WHen i called him out on it, he said maybe he just didn't notice it and could be. Kind of an up and down conversation - why would he argue with me about his friend? RED FLAG to me. He wanted to talk and talk about it. I do have panic disorder and sometimes I don't know my head from the hole in the ground, but I knew I was right on this.

So, after returning home, I went and just laid down. My loved one came in and was excessively talking and couldn't sit still with me. He doesn't usually talk that much. He was up and down and fidgeting with everything. Also, he kept having to turn the lights on in the very dark room - his pupils looked small. I wish he would just admit it to me, so I could stop thinking I'm crazy. I think it was a moment of weakness, he got turned down for this great job the other day (He works, but this was the job he really wants). Maybe I am crazy I don't know....

WHat do you think??? Am I right in my thinking??? What to do???

fourmaggie

well, you need to detach rite now...use the steps....one day at a time...and this too shall pass....relax...until you get the truth....(i know its hard...) go for a walk..or out for a coffee....when its calm.....it will come out

Nerdgirl

You could be right, they might be up to something. As for what to do, take care of yourself.

URMYEVERYTHING

Sometimes we need those words to just confirm what is really happening but the answer lies more so in his actions. I waited for words o come from my exabf but they never did. He always told me through his odd and weird behavior. I learned those mood changes before a relapse happened and I learned to distance myself before crap hit the fan.

Trust your gut!

Freedom1990

Hi Jajajean, and welcome to SR!

Is there any other reason besides the odd behavior that would lead you to suspect your loved one is using something? Has there been past substance abuse? How long have you two been together?

I'm curious why your loved one is still friends with this fellow given his past?

I'm trying to help, but I need a little more information.

I hope you continue to post, and know that you are among friends!

wantingtobe

Your description is consistent with some one who has something to hide. It sounds just like someone who has used and is trying to cover it up.