gardner

My fiance and father of my child recently informed me that he was quitting marijuana, mainly for financial reasons. This morning I found out he went and bought a pack of cigarettes and has been smoking. He "quit" several months ago. As of yesterday we had $20 to our name and today I realized we ran out of baby wipes and mentioned it. He asked how much they cost and I told him a couple of bucks. He said he had $5.00 left. I asked what happened to the rest of the money. He said he put some gas in the car and bought some tobacco. "Not cigarettes, rolling tobacco." I responded with a sigh "that kinda sucks." He stormed off and left saying "I can't do anything right."

I am so angry. He gives up one expensive habit and switches to another. He is at least 40 pounds overweight, has high blood pressure and doesn't exercise. I was all excited that quitting the weed might help with some of these issues only to find out he is just switching addicts. I am so pissed.

praiseHim

I totally feel ya!

Chino

Now that you know his solution is to replace the addiction with another, what are your plans to ensure your baby's needs are met?

gardner

Chino--I don't know. I feel very lost.

hello-kitty

Gardner,

I understand feeling lost. I felt very lost until I took back control of my life. Once I accepted the 3 C's - I was able to begin the process of healing.

I didn't cause his addiction.
I can't control his addiction.
I can't cure his addiction.

It's frustrating to watch someone make what we consider bad choices. However they are his choices to make and we must respect that. We can't control anyone's choices but our own. And we do have a choice... we can work our own recovery so that no matter what someone else does, we are at peace. We remain in control of ourselves and our future. We do not feel lost.

There's a lovely book out there called Co-Dependent No More.

Have you read it?

Chino

gardner, does your baby need anything right now?

keepinon

I suggest reading the stickie What Addicts Do..