Impurrfect

(((Lisa))) - I'm glad you're going ahead with the adoption.

I can imagine a lot of people really DON'T know what to say, other than "I'm sorry". For people who haven't been through what we have, but may have heard us make comments in anger, frustration, or exasperation, I'm sure it IS confusing what to say. People who've never loved an addict simply can't understand how we can love someone, but really not LIKE them a lot of the time, and that it's perfectly normal for us.

I'm glad you've checked in, and it sounds like you and your niece are doing as well as can be expected. I remember the "heavy" feeling, don't actually know when it left, but I seem to remember it was more of a gradual thing. One day I just felt more "normal", though my "normal" was different. I just don't think you can ever be the same after you lose someone you love, whether it's to addiction or not. NOT to say that we can't move forward and have great lives...it's just that there's always this piece of our heart missing In time, we remember more of the GOOD memories, and less of the bad.

Loves, hugs and prayers!

Amy

Chino

"To save one life is as if you have saved the world"

Every day that you love and raise her as your own, you save her life.

God bless you always.

SistersHelp

Amy you have said it all so well. The way you can love somebody that you cannot like, cannot trust, cannot even be around.... it's strange, but there's this whole big group of people who understand exactly what I mean, how we mourn for who she was in the brighter times and how we've been mourning that for so many years.

I'm done school for the year now and I'm taking the wee-teen out shopping this afternoon. A little retail therapy for both of us might feel good...

Chino thank you for your beautiful words that filled my eyes with tears. We love her with all our hearts, she is our own, and we will do the best we can to deserve to be her parents. We want her to grow up with no doubts about her place in our hearts, our home, our lives. I know that she is going to hit milestones throughout her life where her mother's absence is going to ache... and I know I cannot protect from feeling that loss. But though she'll never have her mother again, she'll also never be alone. That's my promise.

justjo

Hey sister,
All I can say is I really understand, I lost my sister last Nov. All those mixed feelings are not nice. My heart goes out to you and your family. Look after yourself.
JJ

SistersHelp

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister too... and thank you for taking the time to drop a note. It all helps. *hugs*

Lisa

Ann

Lisa, I have kept you in my prayers and as I read through this thread, I can see God working in your life and the life of your niece.

I am so glad you will be adopting her. That will give her some sense of permanence, I think, which is something she has never had in her life. I know she loves her mother and wishes things had been different, but the hard truth is that she has probably been scared for a very long time. You offer her safety, permanence and a future where she knows you will be there for her.

How blessed you both are to have each other.

Hugs

Freedom1990

I was just sitting here reading through this thread again, and it dawned on me. You will always have a part of your sister with you through your niece. She in turn will always have a part of her mother with her through you.

As always, continuing to keep all of you in my prayers.

SistersHelp

Thank you Ann, for your prayers and for your observation about the ways in which we are blessed. I feel incredibly blessed by her, by the fact that she allows me to be here for her when her pain could make her turn away. Hugs back to you, and Happy Canada Day.

DeVon, thank you for this lovely insight and positive way to remember. As my niece grows up she looks more like her mother when she was healthier, happier. Very beautiful. She is precious as a piece of my sister, and precious in her own right. Thank you for your prayers.

Thank everyone. I am so grateful.

Lisa

MsPINKAcres

((Lisa))

praying your day of retail therapy was filled with Joy, Peace, Laughter, Grace and of course many great bargains!!!!!! maybe even a special happy memory or two!!!

HUGS,
Rita

SistersHelp

Thanks Rita, we had a nice afternoon, and even an opportunity for a good laugh when I bought my niece a big package of socks at Walmart and was asked for identification to go with my VISA card. Now tell me...if you went to the trouble to steal someone's credit card, is that the first thing you'd do? Head off to Walmart to buy a big package of socks?

wicked

I can't think of anything else in Walmart I might be interested in, wait.....
electronics?
jewelry?
furniture?
nah, i would go with the socks!
:ghug3

ladyamalthea

Lisa,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss, but also to second Ann's sentiment about you and your neice being lucky to have each other. It's been a long, long time since I have been here, but I remember your situation so well, because you love your niece so much that your care for her radiated through your posts then, and it does even now, even in mourning her mother's death.

Here's hoping better days are ahead!

SistersHelp

The hardest part so far was making the final arrangements. I knew my sister was going to die... I have known it for the last two years. And I had rehearsed parts of it in my mind, tested myself to see what I would feel, how I would react. I literally walked myself through her death in my imagination over and over. But I never rehearsed the part at the funeral home where you have to listen to someone explain the graphic details to you. I never rehearsed that part because I didn't know what it would be like. I had no experience with it. And I didn't think it would be me making the arrangements.


This experience made me know that I want to plan my own final arrangements at some point so I can spare anyone I love from ever having to do that part.

CatsPajamas

I'm sorry again for your loss, and for the decisions you've had to make that were difficult for you. When my mom died last year we thought she had made all of her own arrangements. I was truly surprised by the amount of additional things we had to decide upon. As you said, I hadn't been thru it before so I really didn't know what all to expect.

I will also do more so that my family has to do less.

Love and hugs to you and your niece and all who loved your sister.