sad, but proud of myself
 

My AD called my husband while I was at work and told him her abusive abf had thrown all her stuff into the street and kicked her out. He called me freaking out, didnt know what to do. I told him to calm down and THINK..what were we willing to do for her. We agreed tht we would be willing to store her stuff at our house, but unwilling to have her stay with us as she is actively using. He picked her and her stuff up, brought it and her to our house where she promptly passed out. When I got home I asked her what was goingon. She said that she didnt want to go to rehab, didnt want to make decisions right now..didnt want to disappaoint us like she did with previous rehab. I said..no one is telling you where to go.We let her use our phone to call friends. Of course noone wants anything to do with her. We said we would put herup in cheap motel for one nite, then she will need to figure it out. During this convo told herI loved her, would not participate in her death, but am totaly willing to help her get recovery.It was like I had been in training for this moment the whole time I had been going to alanon.I was loving and hopeful but firm and realistic. The best part was I didn't cancel my 40th birthday trip which was the next day. i went and had a seriously fun time..laughed till I peed. Feel like I won the alanon olympics or something!:feedback:

Detaching with love is a beautiful thing :)

Happy belated birthday to you!

You should be proud or yourself, you handled the situation with love for her and kindness to yourself.:You_Rock_

Your daughter made her choice when she decided she didn't want to go to rehab or find recovery.

You maintained your boundaries with love.

Somewhere, out of her darkness, she will see your light shining brightly and maybe that will be when she decides to follow.

Happy birthday!! And good for you for celebrating as planned.

Keeping your daughter in my prayers.

Hugs

BRAVO!!!! It feels so much better not getting all sucked into the vortex, doesn't it? It's not easy, but it's the best choice for everyone concerned. Everyone benefits.

(((HUGS))))