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When will this nightmare end?

Old 05-22-2010, 04:12 PM
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When will this nightmare end?

Just for today, my son is clean, but we have come this far before. Today is day 10 without any medication, or cigarettes. It's a miracle. Even though my boy is in a safe place, and getting treatment again, I am still so sad and hurt. I am not functioning properly. I can't be a good wife like I always am, and I can't enjoy my life yet. I'm not cooking and cleaning and doing all the things I normally do. I'm exhausted. I don't know why I am this way. I have been to Naranon, and I know that my son's life is not more important than my own. But, when he hurts, I hurt. That's just the way GOD made me. What he feels, I feel. I know there are mothers out there, that wish they could be in my shoes, and know where their addict son is. I am thankful for knowing, and thankful he is trying and doing it again. But still so sad he is going through the struggle AGAIN. It feels like a nightmare, and it's been going on for the past 4 1/2 years. I just want it all to be over, and for my son to lead a normal and healthy life. I feel devastated. I trust GOD and believe that he has it, but I know my boy is feeling horrible, for I have been there and done that.
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Old 05-22-2010, 05:15 PM
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Yes, it sounds like you are in a place where you can rest and begin the healing process now. Be good to yourself, let God take care of your beloved son, and stop beating yourself up. It sounds to me like you are doing the best you can with who you are right now. Make sure you get to your meetings this week and share what is going on, should help some. Progress in our recovery takes time. Be patient with yourself!
Love,
KJ
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Old 05-22-2010, 07:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Angelic17 View Post
I am not functioning properly. I can't be a good wife like I always am, and I can't enjoy my life yet. I'm not cooking and cleaning and doing all the things I normally do. I'm exhausted. I don't know why I am this way. But, when he hurts, I hurt. That's just the way GOD made me. What he feels, I feel.
you have been through the ringer. of course there is collateral damage. be kind to yourself.

for some - probably most - of us - ok, probably all of us - this is true. "when he hurts, i hurt". for some of us, it is impossible to separate ourselves from those we most love. we either are sympathetic because we are actually feeling our own pain through the other, or we are sympathetic because we cannot separate us from them.

i mean no disrespect; i hope no offense has been taken. i wish you peace and healing, angelic
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Old 05-23-2010, 10:22 AM
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Angelic, once again, we are both on the same path with our children. This is so incredibly hard. Hugs to you today.

~C
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Old 05-24-2010, 11:48 PM
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sorry you are feeling sad but know that your son is on the right path and the rest will be up to him. take care of you and i'll keep you guys in my prayers.
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Old 05-25-2010, 01:33 AM
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''Come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest'' Math. 11 v 28 - You may feel you're sinking, but the budens HE asks u to carry will never sink you! HE made you able to bear them. - Remember JESUS is shouldering the main weight. - Take my yoke upon you, let me teach you, because I AM humble and gentle and u will find rest for your souls!
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Old 05-25-2010, 08:03 AM
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(((Angelic)))
Find comfort in the fact that he is somewhere safe.
And try real hard not to look beyond today. Some of my worse moments are looking and thinking about what may or could happen.

Stay in today.




Hugs....
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Old 05-25-2010, 08:49 AM
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Old 05-25-2010, 10:44 PM
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''Say to him, 'Be careful, keep calm and don't be afraid'' Isa. 7 v 4 - When your life reflects the image of CHRIST, u remain calm and collected, no matter what is going on around you, approach the future with confidence for HE is there! - ''Anxiety about the next minute is as foolish as worrying about a day a thousand years in the future. In both incidences we can do nothing, and in both incidences GOD will do everything!'' (((HUGS)))
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Old 05-26-2010, 07:30 PM
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His addiction has cost you dearly.
This time, turn him over.
Especially while he is safe, remember that in life which brings U joy

My son's addiction is a silver lining in my life. Due to suffering, it lead me toward
spiritual growth.
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Old 05-26-2010, 07:56 PM
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Thank You, All of you beautiful, understanding people who took the time to reply to my post about my son Joseph. I just want to say, that today is 2 weeks, and Joseph is starting to feel a bit better. He is staying put, and doing what he needs to do again.

I sure hope it sticks this time. Our entire family is devastated and exhausted. GOD heard me. I prayed and prayed, and my son's addiction has brought me so much closer to GOD.
I have grown so much spiritually, just like you SpiritualSeeker.

Hydro, thank you so much, because it's wonderful to know that I'm not alone, and that we are all in this together.

Mooselips, I will take your advice and stay in the day. I know that one day at a time is the only way to go. Otherwise I will be overwhelmed. Thanks so much.

Teke, I really appreciate your compassion, and the prayers are a beautiful gift.

357girl. Yes, you and I have been doing this for quite some time now. I am amazed at how much havoc addiction causes. One addict affects dozens of people. We have been going through this together. I'm always here if you need to talk. I truly understand the pain and heartache involved with an addict for a child.

If I missed anyone, I just want everyone to know, I appreciate all your kind words, thoughts and prayers.
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Old 05-26-2010, 08:08 PM
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for some - probably most - of us - ok, probably all of us - this is true. "when he hurts, i hurt". for some of us, it is impossible to separate ourselves from those we most love. we either are sympathetic because we are actually feeling our own pain through the other, or we are sympathetic because we cannot separate us from them.


I know the hurt, pain, desperation, hopefulness AND hopelessness that you feel. You're not alone. Addiction affects many people. He's your son, my addict is my AH. I feel like I have it bad, but I cannot imagine if it was my child. I'm sorry you're here, but understand your frustration, depression, fear, hope. I hope it clicks for him this time. Hugs and compassion to you.
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Old 05-27-2010, 03:21 AM
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It's a shame that pain is what brings us all together as sisters, but we are sisters nonetheless...

HUGS and prayers to you, my sister.
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Old 05-27-2010, 06:08 PM
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God Bless you my friend and Joseph. Praying for you both.

Your friend,
Maggiemac
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