detaching200

I haven't posted for a while. I'm a person that often feels things very strongly before I'm able to exactly articualte why I feel the way I do. My last post on here I talked about how I was feeling sad about the fact that no one seems to want to be with me, and that I often feel lonely. Some folks understood, but I also got the basic "you don't need a man to make you complete" response. I got mildly irritated by that, and I tried to put my finger on why. I finally DID put my finger on why. I felt I made it clear in my post that I DO NOT feel I need a man, or anyone, in my life to "make me happy." I like my life. I like my job, my home, my kids. I'm happy. Why is it so horrible, such a sign of low self esteem, if I feel lonely and want to be close to someone? why is that so wrong? isn't that why we HAVE reationships in the first place? I wanted to clarify that, I guess. I don't define myself by haivng a man in my life. I guess I resent the feeling that I'm not allowed to feel lonely, not allowed to have a weak moment. I haven't posted for a while because it seemed to me I couldn't be honest. I don't expect to be handled with kid gloves. I thought I made my feelings clear, but I guess I didn't.
Anyway, the addict in my life, (well on the edges of my life ha ha) is going to prison. He took a plea agreement for three years. He's scared to death. I'm scared for him, but he and I both agree it is no less than he deserves. He did a horrible thing. He has asked me if I would be willing to try again with him when he gets out and "gets his **** together." I have been honest with him, saying I don't think it will ever happen. He insists it will, but I'll deal with that later.

Chino

Everyone is allowed to be honest. That includes the people who are giving feedback. "Take what you like and leave the rest."

It's been vital for me in recovering from my codie behaviors, to not personalize others thoughts, words, actions. They are only expressing what they know about their own personal experiences, and they may not resemble my experiences at all.

Written or typed communication greatly complicates things, too, unless everyone miraculously is expressing and communicating the same way. I have a friend that I love dearly, but have the worst time understanding her at times, especially with emails. As she says, brevity is not her strong point and she often times takes detours. By the way, she's single in her early 40's, divorced for 15 years, no children, and not sure if she wants a relationship or just companionship. She has her lonely moments, too.

detaching200

and I worded THAT wrong too hee hee...I looked back at it and realized I didn't mean I couldn't be honest, but that my honesty was being misconstrued. blargh

Chino

You just gave me first chuckle for the day, thank you!

Freedom1990

Sorry, but my scorecard for you doesn't match that assessment, dear.

outtolunch

Today?