Should You Loan or Give Money To Abusers?
 

Should you loan or give money to somekind of abuser even if it's not for their drugs of choice per say?

We know someone who not only had a great job but was already given a loan at 1/2 their yearly salary while they had a job many years ago. They have "probed" family members and friends for another loan/money.

Their problems include legal & illegal substance use,gambling and simply over spending not caring about price tags even unemployed. Has champange taste on a beer budget. Justifies over spending as "quality". He's always trying to guilt you into giving a loan. Trys playing up his FINANCIAL trouble for sympathy.

On one hand their problems are worse than ever and hopefully they realize this and will change their ways. And this person has basically lived their entire life one step ahead of legal,financial or personal problems never taking the time or MONEY to deal with them.

Personally I think they need to suffer the consequences of their life style even if it means bankruptcy. This has been going on for almost 30 years. Would this be too abrupt for someone who has made a point to get their way?

Should you loan or give money to somekind of abuser even if it's not for their drugs of choice per say?

NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!

nope!!!!!!!

"If nothing changes, nothing changes."

you believe that the "loan" (i'd say "gift") is not for their drug of choice. yet, if this person is in active addiciton (currently using) then of course it IS because of the drug use.

we all have limited resources; we all decide every day how to use those resources. if any of this person's resources are going toward activity that is not in his/her best interest, then giving said person money, gas in the car, groceries, is called enabling

I say no to
 

Thanks everyone. That's what I thought for the most part.

Take drugs out of it.

The world is full of people who prey on other people for money.

No is a complete sentance.

avoid a messy ending
 

The big thing is this individual is a relative. This individual still owes immediate family 5 figures. This individual has a violent temper and might not accept to somekind of banishment or questioning of their behavior. This individual is smart enough to be criminally dangerous-and get away with it.

Absolutely Not! There is a saying, Ben Franklin I believe....Never a borrower nor a lender be.

I have been very true to this idea in my life because as soon as you loan money you feel somehow you own part of the result.

My attitude is if you have someone in need in your life then give freely, if at all, with no strings attached. If you have faith in them and are comfortable in the way they will use the money then proceed. If not ..... well then don't.

I give and spend my money where and with whom I am comfortable. I the spending or giving does not align with my principles then I don't. Simple rule that.....

The other question I always ask myself is do the people nearest and dearest to me have what they need......if the answer is no......I do not give outside of my healthy circle.