fenadyl patch now??

Old 05-03-2010, 09:19 AM
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tam
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fenadyl patch now??

well been 5 months since my AH left..after numerous attempts to help him, myself,family and friends set the boundaries of no contact until he is sober.
he is living with a 26 year old couple (he is 52), they dont have a dime to their name and took him in knowing that he was worth $$ if we divorced..anyway, his pain management dr.finally saw the light (after I wrote letters to him) that indeed my AH has an addiction problem. 2 weeks ago the dr.prescribed the fenadayl patch and only gave him enough oxy's for 10 days.
I did some detective work and having his ins.card info I created his profile on his health plan and logged into it to see his prescriptions so I know he has no more pills. My brother visited him 2 weeks ago to check on his welfare and the couple told my brother that I was evil/violent and that my AH is doing much better now without me..(yeah right he lost his job, his car, and has no money)my brother asked them to shut up and took my AH outside to talk. My husband cried and said he doesnt know what to do anymore he said he doesnt want a divorce and afraid he is going to die. anyway...my AH is also bipolar and the oxy's made him very irritable, angry EXTREMELY MANIC(well you all know the scene) he was still on oxy's at the time of my brothers visit. Im not familiar with the pain patch and am wondering how someones demenor is on the patch verses the pills, can someone explain?? would he still require detox to get off the patch too? I still will not talk to him or consider reconciling until he does in fact go into detox/mentall illness facility as there is alot of damage done here and he mentally needs help but just wondering what Im dealing with here as I know the patch is still an opoid...
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Old 05-03-2010, 09:36 AM
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thats what I understand some very serious side effects phsycially..but was wondering mentally how one thinks verses the oxy's. Im sure they still dont
think rationally but he was extremely manic/hyper and the things he said and
did were off the wall again very violent..so I dont know if the patch would make one like that.
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Old 05-03-2010, 09:53 AM
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Tam,

My exah was addicted to heroin and at one point he thought wearing this patch would allow him to wean himself off the heroin. It didn't work for alot of reasons...mostly because my exah wasn't 'done' drugging yet.

your ah is going to do what he's going to do. But checking up on him (thru your brother), logging into his insurance account, and keeping tabs on what he is doing is doing absolutely NOTHING to help YOU.

Tam, I say this with love in my heart...you've got to LET GO. Let go of your ah and let him do whatever he is going to do. There is nothing you can do or say that will make him do the 'right thing' (whatever that is in your eyes). The only person you can control and the only person you are responsible for is YOU.

Say a prayer for your AH...offer him up to the care of your HP...and focus all this energy on yourself.
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Old 05-03-2010, 07:00 PM
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Addiction is progressive. He was addicted to crack, then Oxys ( on his 7th doctor) and has now graduated to the Fentanyl Patch.

I thought you were going for a permanent restraining order. Instead you are stalking him at his residence and breaking into his health care account. What's up with this?
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Old 05-03-2010, 07:24 PM
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Originally Posted by anvilhead View Post
it's Fentanyl......and it's very dangerous.
Indeed it is. I spent a year as a personal care assistant for an elderly couple. The wife was over-medicated to begin with, in my opinion.

Her physician put her on the Fentanyl patches, and her behavior changed.

She got to the point that she was obsessed about the days that patch got changed out (I helped her bathe/get dressed every morning).

She was 84 years old at the time.

Now that we've heard about your AH and what's going on with him, did you find any time at all to focus on yourself and start the healing process?

You're stuck in a rut spinning your wheels with him.

Been there, done that, got that t-shirt myself.

It was a miserable way to live.
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Old 05-03-2010, 07:38 PM
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he is clearly not coming to terms with his addiction in any real sense. of course he cried - he is messed up. but him knowing that he is sick, is not the same as him being close to getting a grip on it.

i think you are obsessing over something for no real reason. what does it accomplish to check up on him? you already know he's broke, he's using, and he is not interested in changing things - not enough to do something about it.

do you know why you are so stuck?
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:09 AM
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tam
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I wasnt aware that my brother visited him, which was 2 weeks ago and just found out. I stated my OBJECTION and how his visit just put me back a few steps (for a day only which is good) but my brother got into a panic about dying (his best friend passed away from drugs)..I have come a long way myself..I am back to running and exercising and havent contacted my AH and my family and friends see how I am now taking care of myself. As far as the ins.drug info, I am paying his full premium and its taking a burden on my finances,but without him having coverage, my house will be at jeopardy.
He claims his drugs cost each month is too much and I see that it is just another lie, so now I requested he pay me the premium cost as I am paying for everything in the home. if I continue to pay his premium I am just enabling.
I know he is still in addiction, I just didnt know much about the patch,I do not deny that nor enable him anymore. I do not acknowledge his lifestyle at all anymore and again, take care of myself and my home. I also have been going out with family/friends
thank you for your responses
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